


Take Me In: a Shawn Hunter Story (Book 1)

by AnnieBeeMe



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: Angst, Discipline, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Parental Spanking, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Spanking, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 32
Words: 47,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieBeeMe/pseuds/AnnieBeeMe
Summary: Book 1 of 2 in this series all about what would've (or should've) happened if Jonathan Turner did adopt Shawn Hunter, something I sorely wish did happen. :) Let me know what you think!**I will be updating once a week for your reading pleasure!WARNING: parental spanking involved. This is just a way I can cope with the fact that I was spanked as a child. Don't like, don't read.
Comments: 19
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1/Part 1: Stop Running

Shawn, wiping sleep from his eyes, groggily plopped down the stairs, awaiting the smell of John's infamous chocolate chip pancakes.

"Hey, buddy. How was your sleep?" John smiled so wide that it made his entire face glow. His cheeriness was almost too much for Shawn. Shawn was not a morning person.

"Whatever."

"Last time I checked, 'whatever' is not a descriptive word. I was looking for, I don't know, something like 'good' or 'so-so'." John smirked at his own wit.

"John, I'm just tired, okay?" Shawn sat on the stool in front of the island. He rolled his eyes and sighed as he picked up a chocolate chip pancake and took a ravenous bite from it.

"Have you ever heard of a plate? C'mon, Shawn, you know better than that." John placed a plate in front of Shawn, trying to hold back his own annoyance. They exchanged irritated glances. "And once you're finished, I expect to see all of your homework in my hand. I won't let you go to school with homework half-done."

Shawn groaned, then stuffed the remainder of the floppy pancake in his mouth. He rolled his eyes again but gave John a thumbs up to humor him. John jokingly lunged at Shawn, making him startle and dart up the stairs. He chuckled to himself as he finished up his own breakfast. "Teenagers and their 'tudes."

Shawn, combing his wavy hair, stood frowning at himself in the mirror, displeased about everything, especially having to go to school and fake a smile while everyone else just floats through life without a care. A stroke of realization hit him. "Who says I have to go to school? John's not my dad. Hell, I'm my own man! Yeah...Yeah..." Shawn suddenly lit up with excitement and gathered a few essentials for the road. He checked the clock. "Oh no. I better go now, or it'll be never." Shawn had finally found a way to hike himself out the window and down the multi-story apartment building, with some old-fashioned rope.

Yes. Freedom at last.

Without a second thought, Shawn hopped on John's motorcycle and tossed the helmet to the curb. _Wow. That worked. I'm shocked that John didn't hear the sound of me speeding off. I guess I didn't really look...Oh well, off to find my real dad._ He thought.

He felt such a rush, being able to control where he would end up. The wind made his hair dance on end, and he howled with exhilaration at the thought that he actually got away with something, especially something this big, right under John's nose.

After what seemed like an eternity, Shawn realized too late that the motorcycle needed gas. Crap. What now? Think...Before he could think of a solution, he heard sirens behind him. _F*ck._ He let his adrenaline kick in and began to run as fast as his legs could take him. Unfortunately, legs are no match for wheels.

"Nice try. Now, turn around, and hands on your head!" Shawn didn't get a good look at the police officer, but he didn't need to. He knew what kind of mood this guy was in, and it wasn't a good one. Not wanting to ruffle any feathers or get tazed, he surrendered and listened to the orders.

"Um...officer? I-"

"Zip it, kid. I can already tell what kind of person you are. I bet you're some teen who thinks he can get away with murder. Well, you can't. Are you authorized to drive this bike? Let me see your license and registration."

Shawn paused.

"No? Nothing? Alright, you're coming with me."

"No! Where?!"

"To the station, kid, and I suggest you keep your mouth shut. You're already in waaay over your head. I will be calling your parents."

Shawn looked at the ground in fear and shock as the officer patted him down, handcuffed him, escorted him to the vehicle, then ducked him down in the back seat.

...........................................................................

The police station was surprisingly crowded, mostly with drunks and traffic-ticket violations. It was stuffy and dimly lit, almost as if it were some horror movie.

"Sit and stay put," The officer sneered. Shawn nodded and sat in one of the cold, hard chairs against the equally cold, hard wall.

A rumbling voice echoed from across the room, making Shawn jump. "Dad? Really?" His jaw dropped, and he scoffed to see his own father drunk as a sailor, cussing at the deputy. _What a surprise...not._ All logical thinking suspended, Shawn leapt out from his seat and jogged over to his dad. "What the- what are you doing here?"

"Shawn? Shawnee boy! How are you doin'? Hey, officer, that's my son! He's come to bail me out!"

Shawn lifted his wrists to reveal a matching set of handcuffs. "Um...I'm in the same boat as you. Sorry..."

"Well, you two are quite the pair," The officer mocked. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Officer, will you let me go? I didn't really do anything that illegal. Besides, then I can take that big dope off your hands," Shawn begged.

"Um...No. That's not how this works. How about you two sit, and I will go make some calls? Officer Shirley, keep an eye on these two." An officer with curly, blonde hair stood next to the father and son, taking the place of the former officer.

Shawn felt so conflicted, so confused. Wasn't his dad supposed to be his role model? It didn't feel right seeing his dad in that drunken state. "Dad, I-"

"S-so, hooow in the world did you end up here, son?"

"Well, I borrowed Jonathan Turner's bike for the day, but it ran out of gas. By luck, I got caught by the cops and dropped here. Look, the whole point of this trip was just to see you. I guess I succeeded. I just...I needed to see you again."

"No. I told you, kid. I'm no good. I better not be seeing you here again. As soon as John comes, ya better go on home with him. I never wanted you to see me like this, not again."

Shawn, letting his frustration take over, began to raise his voice. "Why? Why are you always like this? Why don't you care enough about me to visit me? I just want to see you, dad!" Tears welled in his eyes, and like a child, he let out huge sobs. "I just want to be a family, and you won't give a sh*t!"

"Shawn?" A weak voice managed to interrupt the fiasco. John couldn't bear to see Shawn in the state he was in.

"John? How'd you get here?"

"Oh, I hitchhiked with Feeny, since you took my bike...but don't worry. We'll talk about that later."

"Just go home, John. I'm staying here with dad." Shawn latched himself onto his dad's arm, against the officer's warnings. The officer tried to pry him off without using brute force.

"It's okay, officer. Shawn is staying with me. Isn't that right, Chet?" John interjected.

"Yes, Shawn is to stay with this man. Shawn, go with John now. C'mon, go on," Chet said. Shawn once again refused and gripped his arm tighter. He didn't care that his dad was a drunken mess, and even abusive at times. Chet was his dad.

He locked eyes with John, and he knew deep down inside that he had to go back home with him, to stop running. He knew John was a better man, a man he could trust and come to with anything, but still, Shawn couldn't let go, until Chet pushed him down forcefully. "Shoo, kid! I won't say it again!" That angry shove somehow knocked him to his senses. He tried to blink back a flood of tears as he watched his dad slowly stumble away.

"Shawn, come with me. Let me help you up." John grimaced as he realized how broken Shawn must've felt. He helped him up and embraced him before he could protest or try to run away again. No more words were exchanged. The combination of the simple silence and the warmth from John's arms seemed to make Shawn feel safe and appreciated, for the first time in his life. It felt right. Maybe he was where he was supposed to be.

After a half an hour of paperwork, John led him to his motorcycle. "It's a bit of a distance. You sure you can make the ride tonight? Would you rather ride with Feeny?" John asked.

"No, I'll be fine." Shawn said, almost robotically.

"Alright, let's go home." John had a sinking feeling that they would have a long road ahead of them, both literally and figuratively, but he realized then that it wasn't the time for lecturing or for mending; it was the time for mourning.

...........................................................................

John couldn't sleep at all that night, so instead, he tortured himself as he kept a close eye on Shawn. He was secretly afraid that Shawn would try to sneak out again or harm himself in some way. _The poor thing. He's been through so much, too much, at such a young age. And there'_ s _really nothing I can do to ease his pain_. He thought.

He carefully stood up and crept toward the bedroom door to leave, but he wasn't sneaky enough.

Shawn bolted up in bed. "John? What the h*ll are you doing in my room? That is so creepy!"

“I-Look, I was just checking up on you, K? You gave me quite the scare today."

"Well, you got your baby home safe, so that's all that matters," Shawn said sarcastically.

"You mean my motorcycle? Kid, I don't care at all about that thing, not nearly as much as I care about you." John sat on the edge of Shawn's bed, despite his protests. "Look at me for a second. I’m here, and I'm not going nowhere, got it? Please don't leave like that again. Things could've gone way worse today. And no helmet? You should be glad you're alive. A motorcycle is not a toy. I didn't want to lecture you 'caus I know you've had a rough day, but you made some pretty awful choices today that need to be addressed. I get why you left, to go see your dad, but I would've taken you if you had just asked. Instead, you went behind my back and got in trouble with the cops. What the h*ll were you thinking?"

"I-"

"And I will let you go back to sleep, but I want to give you fair warning that we will pick this conversation back up tomorrow, bright and early. You need to learn safety, and a whole lot of other things, that unfortunately weren't taught to you before."

"Hey! Don't talk about Chet like that. He did his best."

"I'm sure he did, but I don't want to see you ending up like him, Shawn. I want you to rise above the hand you've been dealt. Please, trust me when I say I won't let you ruin your life. Things are going to change drastically around here now that you're stuck with me."

Shawn groaned at John's last statement. "Whatever you say, John. Can you not watch me as I sleep? I kind of like my space."

"Can I trust you to not sneak out again?"

"Fine."

"Okay, we have a deal." John smirked as he tussled Shawn's hair. "G'night, kiddo. I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yeah, okay."

John started to leave, but stopped at the door. "Hey, Shawn? I hope it's not weird to say this, or too soon, but...I love ya. I wanted you to know that."

Shawn pretended not to hear it, even though he knew John did, and he was thankful he did. "Did you hear me?"

"Ditto." Shawn chuckled and began to doze off as John shut the door behind him.


	2. Ch. 1/P. 2: a Typical Day in the Turner Household

John turned over in bed to look at the clock. It was 6:45am, and he usually left for work around 7:00. _Darn. I wanted to have that chat with Shawn...Oh well, I think he's learned his lesson. I hope he's up._ He scrambled to get his professional clothes on, as well as fix his hair. "Eh, good enough for today," he said, glaring at his exhausted and disheveled appearance in the mirror. He yelled out his bedroom door. "Shawn! You up?" There wasn't a response. He sighed, annoyed. He made his way up to Shawn's bedroom and barged in, turning the light on. "Shawn, I hope you're up, 'caus we're gonna be late...Shawn?" His face contorted with panic. "Shawn!" Knocking on the bathroom door, he screamed for Shawn to open up, but there was still no response. He then jiggled the doorknob and opened the door.

A figure popped out from the shadows. "Gotcha!"

John flipped. He leaped into the bathroom sink, getting his trousers wet. "We do not have time for this, you knucklehead! We have to be out the door in ten minutes. Ugh. Now I have to go change. Thanks for that."

Shawn's face gleamed with satisfaction. "Well, I couldn't help myself," he said with a smirk. John's mouth turned up into a grin as he jumped on top of Shawn and began to wrestle him. "What are you doing? Stop! Stop!" Shawn yelled.

"It's called wrestling, and I'm winning."

"Nuh uh!"

"Oh yeah? Prove me wrong then."

"Okay, I will!" Shawn tried to struggle out from under John's toned body, but John was too strong for him.

John smacked the floor three times. "Pinned! I win. Fair and square."

"Whatever," Shawn rolled his eyes.

John then helped him to his feet. "So...you gonna finish your lecture from last night, then?"

"Naw, I think you learned, haven't you? You promised me you wouldn't leave like that again, so we're good...It's a new day. Plus, I mean, look at the time. Crap, we've gotta leave like right now. Sorry, no breakfast. Just get yourself an apple from the fridge, okay?"

"Alrighty then."

John messed Shawn's hair as they exchanged smiles. They then shuffled out of Shawn's room and down the stairs.

Shawn was about to leave the apartment, but John stopped him. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" Shawn looked around and spun in a circle. He then checked the front of his jeans. "My zip is fine."

"No, silly, your backpack. You seriously were going to forget that? That's the one thing you need for school. Oh, wait...Let me see your homework for today."

Shawn hesitated. "How could I have done the homework when I was out all day yesterday?"

"Okay, fine. Just this once, I'll give you one day's extension, but you'll have to face the wrath of Feeny and your other teachers. You're lucky I like you, Hunter."

"Thanks. You're pretty cool sometimes, John."

"No problem, pal. Alright, let's head out." He started out the door, but something caught Shawn's eye. He stopped John in his tracks.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Shawn smirked.

"What? I have everything."

"Think again." Shawn swiveled John's head around and pointed to his butt. "Remember that?" Shawn began to laugh uncontrollably. "You seriously were going to go out in public with a stain on your butt. That's gold."

"Oh, I wonder whose fault that was,” John said sarcastically as he glared at him with his hands on his hips. "I'll just tie a sweater around my waist..." He grabbed a tacky yellow sweater and fastened it around his waist. "There. No one'll notice, right?"

Shawn gave John a weirded out expression. "Yeah, sure, no one'll notice."

John patted his shoulder. "Alright, let's go."

........................................................................

John and Shawn raced inside John Adams High as quickly as they could.

"Wow, you look like you haven't slept a wink in two weeks, Mr. Turner. Nice sweater. Leading the ranks in the fashion industry I see,” Mr. Feeny prodded.

"Thanks. That means a lot, George," John said, frowning. "Blame this one." He gestured toward Shawn.

"Hey, a man's gotta live sometimes," Shawn said defensively.

"Well, Mr. Hunter, I hope you have learned your lesson. We teachers always have to drag you twits out of trouble,” Mr. Feeny said.

"Thanks again for giving me that ride, George," John said.

"All in a day's work," Mr. Feeny replied. "Alright, Mr. Turner and Mr. Hunter. Don't dilly dally. Get to class, both of you."

"Alright, see ya later, George...” John then turned to Shawn and put a hand on his shoulder. “See you in my class, in your seat...and on time, Shawn."

"Yep, totally." Shawn gave him a sly smirk.

"I mean it. You better be there this time, or I just might have to skin you," John teased.

"Okay!" Shawn lifted his hands in mock surrender.

..................................................................................

After Turner's class, John stopped Shawn before he left the classroom to head to lunch. "I need to talk to you for a sec, bud."

"Sure, what's up?"

John folded his arms and leaned toward Shawn's ear. "I know something about you..." He raised his eyebrows and grinned mischievously.

"Oh? Okay, if you think you know me so well...what is it?" Shawn challenged.

"Come with me." John giggled as he grabbed Shawn's arm and dragged him into the cafeteria. The entire room burst into song.

Shawn's face grew red with embarrassment. "What is this?"

"Happy Birthday!" John sang as he clapped to the beat.

Shawn yelled over the music. "Well, thanks, but my birthday isn't until tomorrow! And I'm not five, man. This is so weird." He began to walk out in a rage, but John followed him. Cory also trailed along behind.

"C'mon, Shawn. It was just for fun! I wanted to surprise you." John explained.

"Who told you it was my birthday, huh? Cory?" Shawn asked defensively.

"Don't look at me. I would never," Cory said, crossing his heart.

"Well, I sure hope not 'caus that's not respecting the 'bro code,'" Shawn explained.

"I know I may be a little old and out of touch, but I thought the 'bro code' had to do with dating. I doubt you two know squat about that," John countered.

"Oh, I know plenty, but that's not the point. Someone told you. Who was it, John?" Shawn said.

"A guy can know things...and when we're in this building, you still need to refer to me as Mr. Turner," John replied. 

"Don't change the subject. Who was it?" Shawn sent an intense stare at John, going a long time without blinking.

"Okay, okay. Feeny told me yesterday, when we were driving to pick you up from the police station."

"The police station?" Cory gasped, stunned.

"I'm gonna kill 'em," Shawn said.

"Whoa, whoa, cool down, dude," Cory said. "Blame me. Here, punch me. Let me have it." Cory lifted his shirt and squinted to brace himself for the blow.

Feeny came up behind the three and pointed at Shawn. "There will be none of that."

"Feeny, why the h*ll did you tell John when my birthday was? That's my private information," Shawn complained.

"Well, don't you want the one who's raising you to know, so they can celebrate your existence with you?" Feeny offered.

"Of course not. Birthdays are for kids and nerds."

"For your information, Mr. Hunter, I still celebrate my birthday with close friends," Feeny stated.

"Well, you're just an old nerd,” Shawn jabbed. 

Cory's jaw dropped wide open in shock at Shawn's nerve to talk back against _the_ Feeny.

"Shawn, watch it," John warned.

Feeny ignored the comment as Shawn continued. “Whatever, it's not a big deal, okay? We are born, we live, we die. Who cares?"

"Really, Hunter? That's what you think? Look at who's in front of you right now. You got people who care about you so much. If you weren't here, there'd be a gaping hole in each of our lives. I hope you believe that." John explained as he tried to pat Shawn on the back, but Shawn maneuvered around it.

"Yeah, Shawn, you're my best friend. I want to celebrate your birthday with you. This year's a special one too because you actually have family now, who want to stay," Cory said.

Shawn hung his head. "Where's my family, Cory? 'Caus I don't see 'em. My dad's in jail. My mom's God knows where. My uncle and everyone at the trailer park just don't seem to care. I got nobody."

"Look at me, Mr. Hunter." Feeny said. "Mr. Turner is your family. Mr. Matthews is your family. We are your family. You don't have to be blood to be family (A/N: stolen directly from the mouth of Feeny)."

"No. You are just teachers, and Cory is a friend. That's all. I don't have parents. I'm basically an orphan. You might as well call me Annie."

Silence hung in the air for a few long and tense seconds. John and Feeny exchanged knowing glances.

"Well, I guess we should change that, huh?" John said.

"What do you mean?"

"I was going to wait until your actual birthday, but I guess I'll get it now."

"Get what? John?" 

John led Shawn back to his classroom and rummaged in the top drawer of his desk. He pulled out a piece of paper.

"Here." John gave the piece of paper to Shawn.

Shawn stared at it for a minute, bewildered. Then his face changed into a mixture of shock and happiness. "Really? You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, Shawn. You need me...I need you. This arrangement we have going can now be official. Happy Birthday, bud."

"Awe, thanks." Shawn gave John a side hug, and John returned the favor. "So, what ya gonna get me for my birthday then? Maybe a car?"

"You kidding? Isn't adoption a big enough present? You think I have that kind of doe? I'm a teacher!" John teased. "It will be something pretty cool though. Just you wait."


	3. Chapter 1/Part 3: Birthday Spankings

John crept into Shawn's bedroom and tip-toed toward him. It was only five in the morning, but he couldn't wait any longer. He was like a kid at Christmas. He had to wake Shawn to get started on his birthday festivities, bright and early, or the anticipation was going to kill him. 

John gently nudged Shawn, but he was still fast asleep, snoring at a deafening volume. _Man, this kid is loud...Let me just fix that._ John teepee-ed his hands together mischievously. Looking around the room, his eyes landed on a blow horn sitting conspicuously on the desk. _Perfect. This'll knock his socks off._ He put the blow horn right next to Shawn's ear. The anticipation grew more intense as he placed his finger on the button. _Oh boy, oh boy. He's gonna hate this. I'm so excited._ He then pushed the button, letting out a loud screech.

 **Beeeeeeeeeep**!

Shawn bolted up in bed and screamed. "WHAT THE F*CK JOHN." Shawn snatched the blow horn out of John's hand and jumped on top of him, ready to exact his revenge. He blew the horn as loud as he could into John's ear.

**Beeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeep! Beeeeeeeeeep!**

"HOW DO YOU LIKE IT, HUH?"

John took the blow horn back and pinned Shawn on the floor. He smacked the ground three times. "I win again! Thanks for playing! And stop it with the swearing. It ain't as cool as you think."

Shawn was so fed up. He pushed John off of him and gave him an angry look. "John, you suck. My ears hurt now."

"Well, would you rather birthday spankings like I had at my house growing up? Figured this prank would be a bit nicer," John jeered, laughing to himself.

"...Or you could be...I don't know...A decent human being and let me sleep in on my birthday?"

"Where's the fun in that? Oh, I almost forgot...I got something for ya."

"Oh, what is it?! Gimme!"

"Breakfast in bed, and you can redecorate your room!" John momentarily retreated out of the room to fetch a tray with a teetering stack of his famous chocolate chip pancakes, this time topped with whipped cream and iced cream and chocolate syrup. "The birthday pancake a la mode. Eat up."

Shawn took a huge chomp out of the pancakes. "These pancakes are always good. Thanks," he said with a mouth full of the stuff.

John cringed at the gross sight but didn't bother correcting him. "You're welcome." John looked on, happy that Shawn was enjoying that little surprise. "And ya know what? How would you like it if I let you skip school today? We could hang out all day! Just you and me! I already called in, and Feeny said it would be alright."

Shawn hesitated and set down his fork. "I mean, sure, I'll take you up on that offer, but um...I was kind of hoping that I could go to the movies with Veronica Watson...and maybe Cory and Topanga will tag along."

John's face sank a bit with disappointment. "Oh, I get it. You're 16 now. You wanna be with your friends, go out on dates. Sure, I don't mind. Go ahead, bud."

"Thanks, John! Oh, also, I know you said no to the car, but I was thinking..."

"You were thinking, were you? That's a first."

Shawn fake laughed to mock him. "Oh, the man's got jokes...Seriously though, John. I really want a car, and my uncle Mike has a mechanics shop here in town. What if I worked for him to earn enough money for the car?"

"That's a great idea, Shawn! Actually earning the money for the car. It would teach you hard work and responsibility, that's for sure."

"Yeah, yeah it would, so...Could I start tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow as in Thursday? No, Shawn. That's a school day."

"No, I mean, like after school."

John sighed. "If, and only IF, you get EVERY bit of your homework done and get it done well. School comes first. If I see you blowing that off for work, I'll have to make you quit, and that would mean no car. Capeesh?"

"Okay, okay. Yes, capeesh."

"Alright! Good for you, man. You're gonna be a mechanic! Can I call ya Shawnzie then?"

"What? What even is that?"

"Oof, I'm gettin' old apparently. It's a mix between a 50's character and your name...Nevermind. Just...finish your pancakes." John paused to look at how messy Shawn's face was, then shook his head and walked out.

 _Veronica...Veronica Watson...This is gonna be a great day._ Shawn checked to make sure the coast was clear, then he grabbed his bedroom telephone and dialed her number from his little black book. _Pick up. Pick up. Please._ His heart was pounding out of his chest, possibly from the sugar high, but more likely from his rising hormone levels.

"Hello? Who's this?"

"It's...Shawn. Is-is Veronica Watson there?"

"Oh, it's me, Shawn," Veronica purred his name in such a way that he thought he just might drop dead.

"Say it again for me."

"Oh it's me?"

"No, my name."

"Oh, Shaaaaawn," She said, giggling. "Like that?"

"Yes, JUST like that. Your voice is so angelic."

"Well, thank you...So..."

"So...I was wondering...Since it is my birthday today, I was kind of hoping you'd want to spend some of it with me?"

"Why, of course I would, Shawn. I'll be right over."

"Really? Just like that? Ya know it's a school day, right?"

"Since when did you ever care about school?"

"Fair point. As long as you're okay with it."

"Oh, I'm more than okay with it. I'll be right over. B-bye, Shaaaaaawn."

"Bye, gorgeous." Shawn dramatically collapsed on his bed and sighed. "That. Was. Awesome."

"What was awesome?" John came in with a rag so he could clean up the breakfast.

Shawn froze, then quickly hid the phone and his black book under his pillow. "Oh, the pancakes. They were just sooooo good."

"I'm glad you liked them. Here, you finished? I can take your tray."

"Yeah, thanks." Shawn handed the tray to John.

John stared at Shawn's face and cringed. "You are the messiest eater I've ever seen. Horrifying...Just repulsive...Here..." John grabbed the rag and started to wipe Shawn's face.

Shawn snatched the rag out of his hand. "I'm not a baby! I can do it myself."

"Okay, okay...Hey, when you're ready, you can come downstairs and pick a movie for us to watch. I even found the perfect lounging pants! I'm set. Look." He gestured to his dinosaur-studded pants.

It was Shawn's turn to cringe. "Dude, you're a grown man. That's just wrong."

"Fine, then. If you don't like that, then I'll just go in my undies." John began to take his pants off.

Shawn shielded his eyes. "Ew! Stop! Wear your stupid pants then!"

John laughed as he walked out of the room with the tray.

 _There is no way I'm spending my sixteenth birthday with that grown-ass man-child. Thank God for sweet Veronica. Veronica, she's so great...oh crap...and she's coming over. I wasn't thinking. John would send her back to school..._ Shawn, scrambling to find his phone, dialed Veronica's number again. _Pick up. Pick up. Please. My life depends on it_. The phone rang for a while, then went dead. He was about to try again, when the doorbell rang. _Sh*t...I'm so screwed._ Shawn sped down the stairs as fast as he could. "I got it! I got it...Just sit down." Shawn pushed John out of the way.

"Whoa, what's the hurry there, Speedy Gonzales?" John asked. Shawn didn't answer. He checked through the peephole. "Who's there?"

"Oh, it's nobody," Shawn lied. "It must've been some kids playing ding dong ditch or something."

"Shawn, any kid would be at school right now, except you 'caus I'm letting you stay home for your birthday. C'mon, who is it?"

Shawn began to fidget nervously. "I told you, it's nobody, okay?"

"Then why can I see big gobs of sweat on your hands from way over here? What are you hiding?"

Shawn sighed. "It's...Veronica..."

"You mean Veronica Watson, THE Veronica Watson? Well, let her in. It's not polite to make her stand out there and wait."

"Really? You're not mad or anything?"

"No, of course not. Let her in, Shawn."

"Hey, I'm sorry...I know you wanted to spend some quality time with me on my birthday, but I mean, it's Veronica Watson."

"Yep, I know. THE Veronica. I get it."

"Thanks, John." Shawn opened the door to let her in. "Hey, babe." Shawn pulled her in close and tried to secretly kiss her.

"I saw that. I'm literally right here," John said.

Veronica jumped. "Oh...I didn't know he would be here."

"Yeah, he's technically my dad now, I guess. He's just leaving." Shawn sent John an intense glare and nodded toward the door.

John smirked. "Oh, I'm not leaving. I was just gettin' comfy. Shawn and I were about to pick a movie. Come, why don't you help us?"

"Um...sure?"

"Okay, so we have all these classic cartoons to choose from. There's Wile e Coyote, Tom and Jerry, Woody the Woodpecker, ooo! Chip and Dale!"

"No. John, I know you have better stuff than that. C'mon," Shawn interjected.

"I don't know what you're talking about. This is all we have," John said with a sly grin.

"Okay, then. Veronica, let's go upstairs. We'll find something better to do.” Shawn glared at John as he led his girl to his bedroom.

“HOLD IT. You are not allowed to have a girl in your bedroom."

"Why not?!"

"It's just not smart, bud. You can do whatever you're going to do with me around."

"I'm not some child! I'm f*cking 16!"

"Hey! Watch your attitude, mister." John shot up from the couch where he was sorting movies to approach Shawn.

Shawn retreated and gave him an embarrassed look. "C'mon, be cool," he begged. "Let's go, Veronica." He grabbed her hand and began to lead her up the stairs, against John's guidance.

"Shawn, I think I've been more than lenient with you. You either listen to my instructions or she's out." 

"I don't have to listen to you!" John grabbed Shawn's wrist, but he pulled away.

"Yes, you are going to listen to me because you are under my roof! Maybe I'll end up giving you those birthday spankings after all, huh?" 

Shawn's face turned a glowing red. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I would, if you don't listen to me and stay where I can see you."

"Um...guys? I think I'll just go...Sorry, Shawn. Have a good birthday." Veronica swiftly made her way toward the door. She looked at them with a guilty expression and closed the door behind her.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID. You completely humiliated me in front of my girlfriend. Now she's never gonna talk to me again. I hate you," Shawn whined, shoving John.

"I'm not overly fond of you either right now. I don't care if it's your birthday or not. You don't get to run the house. I don't care how old you get. Until you're 18, you live with me. That means my house, my rules. Shawn, you lied to me. You never said she was ditching school to come here. I could get in trouble for that, ya know."

"No, I didn't lie. I just...didn't tell you everything."

"That's the same thing...Ya know what? I take it back. I can't trust you. Deal's off."

"No, John! Please! I need that car."

"What? So you can take advantage of all the girls you want in the back of it?"

"That's low, John. Real low," Shawn began to dart up the stairs, but John pulled him back.

John paused, then sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for embarrassing you in front of your girl, but I need you to respect me. I wouldn't tell you to do something just for fun. It's to keep you safe, okay? We don't need you having a kid with THE Veronica, now do we?"

"Well, that would never happen 'caus you ruined my chance with her! We didn't even get to second base."

"It's not baseball, kid. You get to last base, you could be making the worst mistake of your young life. You could get diseases, Shawn, with sleeping around. You could ruin girls' plans to go to college because you got them pregnant."

"I'll just wear a condom. I've heard the spiel, John. I know where stuff goes."

"I'm sure you have...but condoms break. Nothing is foolproof. There's always a risk. I just want you to be careful, okay?" Shawn looked away, but John lifted his chin. "You hear me? Okay?"

"Okay."

"Thank you...The deal is back on, with one condition."

"What's that?"

"Birthday spankings," John joked, with a grin.

"No! Get away from me!" John began to chase Shawn. Shawn ran as fast as he could, then slammed into something in the hallway and fell down.

"Cellophane wrap? Really?" Shawn said.

John began to laugh so hard that tears ran down his face. "Now that's what I call a Turner birthday. Gotcha!" Shawn went completely silent, then like a bull, he charged at him with all his might and tackled him to the floor.

"Okay, alright. You win," John said, still laughing.

"You bet I win." 


	4. Ch. 2/P. 1: I'm Just Not Good Enough

Shawn's POV:

So, today is the day! I get to finally have a job. Sure, it's not that glamorous, and I won't get paid that much, but my uncle Mike scored me a deal. He said that if I really pitch in and do my part, he would give me one of his old clunkers. I don't really care. At least it'll be a car of my very own. I'm super stoked! I just wish this day would be done already...Class absolutely sucks, especially when the teacher is also your legal guardian. Ugh. I can't get away with anything now. I think John has some kind of magical radar that can scout out everything I do. He's relentless.

"Hunter, head up please. This is a classroom, not your bedroom. What was the question I just asked?" Turner walked over to Shawn's desk and gave him a stern look. Shawn's eyes were glazed over. He barely processed the question. "Huh? Not sure? Then pay attention, or it's detention."

"Ha, that rhymed."

"Good job, Shawn! Who's the good boy?" John teased. Shawn wanted to hit him so hard for that, but he knew better than to retaliate during school hours. John regained his stern composure and walked back to the front of the class to continue his lecture. _Sometimes John can be a real butt. He never knows when to quit harassing me. He's almost like an older brother, but I already have one of those, well, half of one, and he's annoying as h*ll._

"Alright class, time for a pop quiz." The class groaned. "Well, if you _paid attention in class_ , this should be a piece of cake." He handed out the quizzes. "Okay, everyone. Be quiet, and eyes on your own paper."

"Hey, Cor?" Shawn whispered.

"Yes, my Shawn?" Cory replied.

"Can you make time go faster for me?"

"Why? What's the rush?"

"Today's my first day of work. I'm gonna get a car!"

Cory gasped with excitement. "That's-"

"BOYS. Eyes on your own papers. I won't ask again," John warned. Shawn gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. He began to play with his pencil, tapping it lightly on the desk.

Topanga swiveled around to glare at Shawn. Shawn sneered back. "Oh, like you're so perfect," Shawn griped.

"Shawn PATRICK Hunter, I suggest you quit it right now, or else," John warned.

"Or WHAT, John?" Shawn challenged. He despised the fact that John used his middle name in the middle of class. His dreaded middle name!

"Shawn, stand up and go to the corner. NOW. You can be there for the rest of class, since you obviously find me so boring."

Shawn spoke under his breath as he swaggered to the back of the class. "Ain't that the truth."

"Excuse me? Come again?"

Shawn growled in frustration. "You don't get me. You think you're so high and mighty."

John paused and stood perfectly still. His gaze pierced right through Shawn's skull. "Class. Turn your quizzes back in. We'll take them later. I'm sorry. I'll be right back." The air felt so heavy in the room. It was that tense. No one breathed. Cory shot a confused expression at Shawn and mouthed, "What the heck?" Shawn shrugged in response. In a scarily calm manner, John then placed his hand lightly on Shawn's back and guided him out of the room. He shut the door behind him.

Shawn stepped back. "Let go of me! You're being such a-"

"A what, Shawn?"

"Just give me room to breathe, dude. You used to never be like this. Why are you always on my case?"

John stuck his finger out and placed it on Shawn's chest. "We will be discussing this later, in detention. You know what that means, right?"

"No, John! Please, no! I need this job!"

"Shh...You're embarrassing yourself."

Shawn scoffed in defense. "You already did that, so thanks a lot." Shawn began to walk away.

"Oh no, you don't." John pulled him back by his sweatshirt. "You get to spend the day in the principal's office. I'm sure Feeny would love to babysit you. I'll make sure he puts you to work."

"Oh, f*ck you."

"You know what I think, Shawn? I think you're the one who's suffocating yourself. I think you are your worst enemy. I will not accept your sass, kid. You clap at me, I WILL clap back harder. You won't win this little power game we're playing. I am your teacher and your dad, as well as your friend. Don't you forget that." John tried to grab his arm to lead him down the hallway.

Shawn yanked his arm out of the grip. "You're NOT my dad. I have a dad. You can't replace him."

"Okay, Shawn, but I'm still in charge here, and you still need to respect me. No more back talking now. Let's go. I still have a class to teach." John tried to grab his arm again, but Shawn dodged it. 

Shawn knew he had stepped over the line, but he figured since he had already crossed it, he might as well just keep going. There was no going back. "Well, then why don't you go back to your precious class then, John? Your class full of _perfect_ students. Don't let me stop you, your little problem child."

"What is with you today, Hunter? I've been nothing but nice to you. This is getting ridiculous. Fine, I didn't want to make a scene, but I guess I'll just have to drag you there." John grabbed Shawn's ear and led him to the principal's office, while he protested the whole way there.

"Oh, hello Mr. Turner, Mr. Hunter? I see you're not in class. What's the issue?" Feeny said.

"This one needs an attitude adjustment. He had an outburst in my class. He's being so stubborn. I had to drag him here," John explained. Shawn glared at him.

"Well, I'm sure Shawn and I here can find some things to do while you finish up your class."

"Thanks, Mr. Feeny. I'll be back to get him."

"Please do because I would like to speak with you."

"Alright, George. I'll be back. _Shawn_ , stay," John ordered.

Shawn folded his arms and began to pout. "I'm not some dog, dude." He flipped him off. John sighed and shook his head disappointedly but walked out with not much more of a reply.

"SHAWN HUNTER. What on earth has gotten into you?" Feeny quizzed. "That is no way to treat a person, especially Mr. Turner. He is your teacher and your guardian. You should hold him in high regard."

"That's the problem, Feeny. He's cramping my style. Everywhere I go, it's him! I can't just breathe and be myself. He has to keep his eye on everything I do. D*mn, he won't even let me look at a girl."

"So that's what this is about then, huh?" Feeny asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well, I don't know. It's a lot of things. My dad used to let me do whatever the h*ll I wanted. I could stay out 'til all hours of the night. It's so weird having someone cage me in like this. It's so suffocating. I'm not some f*cking animal."

"Watch your mouth. You are on very thin ice, Mr. Hunter."

"Okay, okay, but you get my point?"

"You know what I see? I see a kid who believes he can be the king of his own kingdom. News flash: this world we live in is not yours. There is structure. There are rules for a reason, Shawn, and if you don't come to grips with that, it will nip you in the bud sooner than you think...Here, I want you to work on this assignment for me." Feeny slid a piece of paper across his desk toward Shawn.

He took one look at it and cringed. He slid it back toward Feeny. "Nope, I'm good."

Feeny slid it right back. "Nope, you're not. DO IT."

"Ugh, fine..." Shawn stared at the first question. It was a writing prompt. "Why writing? I hate writing."

"Would you rather I make your life even more miserable? I have that authority, as you well know."

Shawn sighed. He began to sulk, placing his head in his hands. "I can't do this," he whined.

"Yes you can. Here, let me read it to you." Feeny read the prompt aloud. "Now, that's not so hard, right? Try it. One paragraph. I know you can do it. You just have to engage your mind."

Shawn just kept staring at the paper. Water began to fill his eyes. "I'm dumb, okay? I'm just gonna end up like my dad, a drunk with 2 nickels in his pocket."

"You truly believe that, Mr. Hunter? That's not what I see. I see a boy who has the will power and boldness of a lion. If only he tapped into his talents and applied himself in the important areas of his life, he would succeed. Look at me, boy. I see a strong leader inside you. You need to see him in yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Now, I want you to complete that paper for me."

"How do I even start?"

"Write from the heart. Write what hurts you or what you love, whatever comes to you. Just write."

"Okay." Shawn wrote in choppy, fragmented sentences, but at least words were flowing onto the page. It took him the remainder of the school day, but the paragraph turned into a page, front and back.

"Good, good," John looked over Shawn's shoulder and gave him a pat. "I see Feeny has you completing one of my assignments. Thanks, George."

"Hey! Don't look at it. I thought this was just for me."

"C'mon, Shawn, let me see," John said.

Feeny glanced at him. "It's okay, Shawn. Mr. Turner just wants to see you apply yourself and learn, as do I."

"Fine...here, but it's not very good." Shawn handed the paper to John.

He perused it for a minute. "Not bad."

"You hate it..." Shawn said, sulking.

"No, Hunter, I don't. This is what you really think, huh? Is this what you've been going through?" John asked.

"Yeah, I guess...sort of."

"So, let me see if I'm right...You feel abandoned, out of place?"

"Uh huh." Shawn covered his face with his hands to keep them from seeing his tears. He couldn't help but let his emotions out. He felt strange. The writing exercise seemed to make him face what's been bothering him, and what bothered him was slowly crushing him.

"It's okay, bud." John rubbed Shawn's back as he sobbed.

"I'm such a waste of space..." Shawn began.

"No, you're not...Look at me." John held his face in his hands and stared in his eyes. "You are Shawn Hunter. You are _my_ son now. Get it in your head. You are valuable, irreplaceable, okay? You are smart and caring, and you can do this. I love you." John kissed his forehead. Shawn normally would be grossed out and shrink away, but he knew he needed to be shown someone cared. "I'll be by your side every step of the way, but on my terms. Feeny and I want the very best for you. I hope you can want the best for yourself."

Shawn let out another sob. "O-okay...I'll try..."

"If you want to work at your uncle's shop today, I will still let you, but let him know you are going to be late. I want you to finish all of your homework in detention with me before you go."

"But-"

"It's either that or nothing, Shawn. My rules. I'm the one who calls the shots here, got it?"

"Okay, fine."

"Good. Now, I want you to stand up."

"Why?"

"Just do it." Shawn stood up and pushed the chair under the desk. Feeny watched, amused.

"Now, I want you to face the mirror."

"Why?"

"'Caus I said so."

Shawn groaned but obeyed. "Okay, what now?"

"I want you to tell yourself this: 'Hey, good lookin'..." Shawn shot him a weird look. "C'mon, do it."

He sighed. "Hey, good lookin'."

"I want you to pretend your reflection is your best friend. Pretend it's Cory. Now tell Cory, 'You are irreplaceable. You are loved, and you have so much to offer this world. You were made for a specific purpose.'"

"That's so weird, John." 

John shot Shawn a warning glance. 

"Fine...'You are irreplaceable. You are loved, and you have so much to offer this world. You were made for a specific purpose.'...there, happy?"

"I want you to say that everyday in the mirror until you believe it. You want a tattoo, right? Maybe one day you should get that tattooed somewhere to remind you," John said, turning Shawn toward him. "I love you. Got it? That is never gonna change."

Shawn couldn't get any more words out. He simply planted his face into his dad's shirt and cried. John got intense and looked him in the eye. He shook Shawn's shoulders slightly to get the point across. "Got it? Never forget who you are."

Shawn gave John a hug, then faced Feeny. "Thanks."

"You are most welcome, Mr. Hunter. I know you can meet our expectations,” Mr. Feeny responded.

Shawn offered a small smile.

"Alright, bud, come, we have some school work to do before you can do your other work." John laughed at the irony. "You'll be getting a head start on adulthood...Work is a never ending cycle."


	5. Ch. 2/P. 2: It Was My Uncle, I Swear (TW: Drug Abuse)

*Spans over a length of time, a few months*

After about a week of working with his uncle, Shawn had already started to get a good grasp on the basics of mechanics. He was chomping at the bit to learn as much as he could about the trade. Every night, he would come home with his hands dirty, as well as dark oil stains all over his uniform. John would often make him get out of his dirty clothes so he didn't track inside the apartment. He was very proud of him though, and he made sure to let Shawn know that every chance he got. Shawn was even doing well enough balancing school and work. He was getting C's instead of D's and F's, and after a few months, he had almost worked enough time for Uncle Mike to give him his car. However, all of that changed one day when he let curiosity get the better of him.

"Hey, Shawnee, come give me a hand, would ya?" Uncle Mike said.

"Sure. What's up?"

Uncle Mike, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, brashly pulled Shawn aside. He looked around to be sure no one was looking. "Here, you deserve this for all the hard work you've done today." He pulled out a home-made doobie and lit it for Shawn. Shawn took it and rolled it in between his forefinger and thumb. "What is it?" He pulled it up to his nose, took a whiff and gagged. "Yuck! You want me to smoke this?"

"No, Shawn, I want you to eat it. OF COURSE I want you to smoke it. That's why I lit it. You've always been telling me how you've been in the dumps about stuff, fretting about your parents and all. I know you've had a hard life. I'm a lot like you, Shawn. I've been through it all it seems, but one puff of this, and it's like, everything just vanishes for a second, and I'm free. My mind clears. It's an amazing feeling. This is a great choice for those starting out."

"Well, John tells me to stay away from drugs and such."

"Are you a house-broken mutt now or something? Since when have you let rules stop you? Live free, Shawn, free like me, like your dad. It's Hunter blood, ya know, to not let the world oppress us with its harsh laws."

"I mean, I guess...but doesn't it have...I don't know...side effects? John says it numbs your mind, that some drugs can even kill you."

"John says this! John says that! Bullsh*t. No. That's just what the money-makers of the world try to brainwash you to believe. It's all a load of crap, all of it. America the free has become America the 'free but only if you're rich'."

"Hmm. I never thought of it that way."

"You stick with me, kid, and we'll go places."

Shawn laughed. "Okay." _Just one hit...It can't hurt, right?_ Shawn put the marijuana up to his lips and breathed in. He coughed hysterically. His uncle patted his back and broke into a laughing fit. 

"Good stuff, huh?"

"Y-yeah..." Shawn said, punching his chest. "Good stuff...Whoa...whoa...wa-what's happening?"

"It means it's working. Just finish the roll, man. It would be a shame for it to go to waste."

"Yeah, okay." Shawn continued to smoke the joint until it shrunk to the width of his finger. "Wow...I feel so...free. So light. It's weird." He began to giggle, not knowing why.

Uncle Mike chuckled. "Good, now you can throw it on the ground and give it a good stomping...but you should probably get out of those clothes while you're here. I don't want you getting caught smelling like weed. I'm sure John would bust your chops for that."

"Yeah, probably...but I won't tell him if you won't!"

"It's a deal." Uncle Mike hit his back jokingly and handed him a new uniform. "Here ya go. Wear this one. I'll smudge some oil on it, and John won't be able to tell the difference."

"Thanks, Uncle Mike. You're pretty cool."

"Yes, that I am, boy, that I am. It's the Hunter blood. Don't you forget it."

"Oh, I won't. Believe me...Um...hey, can I just have, like, one more, for the road?"

"Eh, sure, what the h*ll. Hurry though. I know John gives you strict curfews."

"Yeah, he does. Once 9:30pm rolls around, he wants me home on the dot. It's crazy. My dad used to let me stay out as long as I felt like it."

"Well, I know that John is now your little slave driver, but if you ever want to, ya know, have a break, I can certainly let you stay on the cot I got."

"Thanks, man. I might take you up on that one day."

"Yeah." His uncle gave him a cold, hard look. "I just don't want you forgetting who you are. You're a Hunter, always will be. Don't you forget it."

"I swear, I won't. This is good stuff-" Shawn coughed a bit more. "Here, you better have the rest." 

"Well, don't mind if I do. It's a good way to end the day. Just you, me, and a doobie."

"Yeah..." Shawn laughed.

"Okay, go get changed. Then I'll take you home."

Under the influence of a couple doobies and a whiskey, Uncle Mike gave Shawn a ride home, miraculously without killing either of them in the process. Shawn climbed the five flights of stairs, already out of breath from the first flight, and opened the door to the apartment.

John was sitting on the couch, grading papers as usual. "Oh, hey Shawnzie! How was fixin' cars all day?" (A/N: It was a Saturday, I might add.)

"Fine." Shawn began to strip in the doorway as per his routine (A/N: Don't worry...He still had boxers on, you sick-minded people.)

"That's it? Just fine? Aren't you getting close to your goal?"

"What goal?" Shawn wiped some hair into his eyes, in order to hide the glossy look of them (something his uncle taught him).

"What goal? Really? Oh, I don't know, maybe that car you haven't stopped talking about for months."

"Oh, yeah, right...Uh huh." Shawn held a blank stare at the ground, trying to not seem obvious he was on something.

"Are you feeling okay, bud? You're acting kinda strange...You should go to bed early tonight. I think you've been working yourself too hard lately."

"Yeah." Shawn broke his stare to try and snap back into reality. "Yeah, I've been working sooooo hard, and yeah, that's why I'm like this. Yep. Totally." 

"Uh huh...yeah." John gave him a suspicious look and slowly rose from the couch. "Something ain't right here. You wanna tell me something, Shawn? I promise that if you tell me, I won't get you in trouble."

Shawn gulped and stood silent, darting his eyes away. He began to nervously rock onto the balls of his feet.

John approached Shawn and felt his forehead. "You're a little flushed but no fever." He lifted his chin. "You lyin' to me?" He asked point blank, studying his facial expressions.

"How could I be lying when I haven't said anything? Huh? I plead the 5th."

"That's not how it works with me. You know that."

"It's nothing, okay? I'm just tired." Shawn pushed him away.

"Okay, fine. Don't tell me. Just, eat something. There's some mac and cheese in the fridge for ya." John watched Shawn intently as he groggily hobbled toward the fridge.

"Quit staring at me...You're freaking me out."

"Why would it bother you that I'm staring at you? It ain't that weird. You stare at me dead-eyed in class all the time. I'm just returning the favor."

Shawn rolled his eyes and sighed. He began warming up his mac and cheese.

"What is that odd smell?" John took in a big gulp of air. "That can't be the mac and cheese 'caus I swear I smelled it before...Did you...pass gas or something? It's not oil."

"No, I didn't. I'm not some savage who goes around ripping one for the fun of it."

"Well, have a good, hot shower before bed then. It's probably B.O."

"What's B.O.?"

"Really, Shawn? You don't know what that is? It's boy odor." He laughed. "Okay, actually body odor, but I think boys are generally the smellier species, especially you."

"Hey! Look out!" Shawn ducked, pointing to the ceiling above John.

John jumped and looked up at the ceiling. "What? I don't see anything. You joshing me right now?"

"What? You don't see that? It's right there! Look!"

"Okay, HAHA. You got me."

"No, really. Oh crap...It's moving...it's-" Shawn began to hyperventilate. He ran up the stairs and hid inside his blankets.

"Okay, something is really wrong with him...Oh...Ah...I think I have a good idea what it is." John raced up the stairs and into Shawn's bedroom. "Okay, sit up. Right now."

"No! I have to stay hidden. I don't want them to see me."

"What? Who's them? Shawn...You're going crazy. Look at me." John pulled Shawn up out of the blankets against his will and made him look him in the eye. "Oh, great...You're on something, aren't you?"

"No!" Shawn slammed himself onto the floor and slid underneath the bed.

"You are being ridiculous. Ya know that, Shawn? What am I going to do with you?" John sighed. "Do I need to call the ambulance? Shawn?" John laid on the floor and reached for him. "Come out. You're safe. No boogeyman is gonna get you."

"You don't know that. Maybe you're the boogeyman, 'caus only the boogeyman would deny being the boogeyman."

"Okay, whatever." John grabbed Shawn's ankles and pulled him out from under the bed. Shawn began to scream and flail around. "Knock it off, Shawn! Rrright now!"

"No! No, no, no...Don't touch me! Get away!" Shawn tried to kick him in the head.

"Okay, as you wish." John raised his hands in surrender, then retreated and quickly retrieved the phone from the desk in the room. He dialed 9-1-1. "Hello? Yes, my son is kind of going berserk...Yeah, he's coo-coo. I don't know what else to say...uh huh...okay...No, he's being very paranoid, seeing things, stuff like that...Has he ever done drugs? Well, I sure hope not! Can you send an ambulance please? I'm concerned he might hurt himself somehow. He's being very...out there. Thank you...thank you so much...Shawn, you just stay put. The ambulance is coming for ya." John wanted to pace across the floor to control his own nervous energy, but he figured that might trigger Shawn, so he tried his best to stay calm and wait it out.

When the ambulance crew arrived, they had to try and coax Shawn onto the stretcher. Needless to say, he was not having it. They eventually had to man-handle him, then give him a shot of Ativan (A/N: an anti-anxiety drug) to calm him down. "Yep, if I could take an educated guess, I would say it's most likely an overdose of marijuana, but to be sure, we're gonna have to bring him in and test him," One of the EMT's said to John.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you gotta do. Can-can I come too?"

"Why not, as long as you aren't claustrophobic. Our ambulances are not very big."

"He'll be okay, right?"

"We're not allowed to promise anything, but he's young. He'll probably pull through."

"Okay, good to hear then," John said, scratching his head.

................................................................................................

"Sure enough, his THC levels are through the roof. Your boy was probably just experimenting with marijuana recently and had too much," The doctor explained.

"Wow...um...so, what do I do with him now?"

"I would suggest letting him sleep it off. He's young. It'll just take a little bit for him to get back to an even-keel. Here, I'll prescribe him some anti-anxiety meds to get him through the weekend." The doctor couldn't help but crack a smile and chuckle. "I'm sorry, it's not professional of me to laugh...But I remember my own teen trying weed for the first time. I gave him the hiding he never forgot, oh wait...He did forget it because he was so high." His gaze drifted as he remembered it. "Well, Shawn's a little groggy, but he'll be fine in a few days. Don't you worry."

"Okay, good to hear I guess...Man, this took a while...It's already past midnight. Can we go?"

"Yep, let me just have you sign these discharge papers, and you can go."

"Can I borrow your phone here? I'll need to call for a ride. We came in the ambulance, ya see."

"Oh, that's fine. Just sign, then the phone is right out the door and to your left."

"Thank you very much, sir." John quickly signed the many papers, then dashed out the door toward the telephone.

"You're very welcome," the doctor yelled out the door with a smile. He chuckled to himself again as he exited the room.

John dialed Feeny's number. "Great, I hate bugging George, but I don't remember anyone else's number right now...I suppose I couldn't ask for a phone book...Oh hey! Hey there, George. It's me again...Mr. Turner...Yeah, I know it's late, but you'll never guess what happened. Shawn OD'ed on pot today. I didn't even know that was possible, not that I've tried it before..." He shook his head at the thought. "...Yes, I'll talk to him about it when he's conscious...Oh, trust me, he's in trouble...I won't let him get away with this, George, of course not...What? You think I'm too soft? Well, what do you think I should do, huh?...I'll think about it...I have a couple days at least to decide. The kid's gonna be pretty sedated for a while I think. Can you come? Please? Thank you, George. Okay, see ya soon." John hung up the phone and paced in the hallway, thinking about what he would do with Shawn.


	6. Ch. 2/P. 3: I'm Grounded...Forever

*After Shawn sobers up, the aftermath and punishment*

"Shawn, wake up. We need to talk, right now," John said, shaking Shawn awake.

Shawn groaned. "Can you come back later? It's too early."

"It's not too early. I've given you plenty of time to rest. Now, it's time to face the music. C'mon, sit up." Shawn didn't listen. Instead, he turned over onto his stomach.

"Wrong move." John threw his covers off, allowing a chill to shock him awake. "I will count down from three. If you're not sitting up, we will have a problem...3...2...Shawn..." John stared at him and sighed. He still hadn't budged. "Fine...You asked for it." John wound his hand back as high as he could and slammed it down hard onto Shawn's uncovered bottom. SMACK.

"Ow! What was that for?" Shawn rubbed his butt and turned over, glaring at John.

"I warned you, didn't I? Now that you're up, I'm going to give you the lowdown on what your sorry life is gonna look like over the next month or more."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm gonna tell you right now...So, what do you remember about the past week?"

"Um...I slept, like, a lot, and you wouldn't let me do things...And I still had to go to school, but I don't remember anything about what happened during school. Then again, I never remember."

"Okay, good. Do you remember what led up to your zombie-like state?"

"Um...not really, no."

"Well, I'll tell you. You...somehow...got a hold of drugs, marijuana, to be exact. Does that ring a bell?"

"Hmm...nope.” Shawn lied.

"Okay, well, I have proof that you did it, so it doesn't matter what you tell me."

"Oh yeah? Then, prove it."

"Fine. I'll just go get your discharge papers." John trudged down to his bedroom and retrieved the papers. He sat on Shawn's bed. "It says here that your THC levels were sky high, indicating you had used pot very recently...Dude, you were a nut job. I never want to see you like that again. It was terrifying to be honest. You overdosed apparently, and it made you hallucinate. You don't remember any of it?"

"Not really."

"In that case, I'm gonna make sure you always remember the consequences of it. Remember or not, it was still your choice to use that drug...You, Mr. Shawn, are going to be grounded for a month. If you slip up during that time, I will add another month, and so on."

"C'mon, I don't even remember doing it!" Shawn whined.

"Too darn bad. You're gonna not do it again, if I can help it. Now, being grounded means you come home from school right away. Absolutely NO dates, NO friends, NO nothing during that time. The only television you'll be allowed to watch is with me, and it'll be educational only, capeesh?"

"Awe, c'mon, John...That's not fair."

"You know what else isn't fair? Watching someone you love suffer severe paranoia 'caus they were stupid and overdosed on pot. You completely lost your mind, Shawn."

"I guess...I got nothin'."

"That's right, you got nothin'...Shawn, listen, I don't want anything to happen to you...I had a sister, a while ago...She died from a drug overdose." There was an awkward silence after that statement. Shawn didn't know what to say.

"I'm...sorry to hear that."

"It is what it is. I can't change anything about the past, but I can do something to change the future, your future...Granted, her drug of choice was not only marijuana. There were heavier things in combination with it, but still. If you aren't making smart choices, then you could really hurt yourself, Shawn. You feel me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Shawn sat, twirling his thumbs, trying not to look into John's intense eyes.

"So...I need you to tell me everything I just told you. I want to make sure you are listening."

"Fine...Um...No nothing for a long time."

"That's right, and if you abide by that, then you and I will get along just fine...Shawn, that also means you are not able to work for your uncle. You'll have to quit for the time being. No car for a while."

"WHAT? NOOOO. Please, anything else...I need to drive. BAAAD."

"Shawn, these are the consequences of your actions. You'll have to live with them. I'm sorry, but that's that. You can complain about it all you want, but you'll just make it worse for yourself...Hey, just curious, but who was the one who sold you those drugs?"

"John, I don't have the faintest idea. Everything is a blur."

"Even if you did remember, I doubt you would actually tell the truth anyway. Well, I'll find out somehow, with time, I hope. I'll be asking around."

*Brrrrrring Brrrrrring*

Shawn hurried out of bed to reach the phone, but John blocked him. "Nope. That phone is mine until the punishment is over...But just in case it's for me...Hello? Who is this? Oh, hi Cory. No, Shawn can't come to the phone right now. Why? He's grounded. Oh, he was doing pot." Shawn stared at John, wide-eyed, in shock that he would mention those personal things to his best friend. "I know, right? I know, it's very bad, so you get it, right? No hanging out with him for at least a month, capeesh? Maybe longer. I'll wish him luck. Yes...Oh, hey...You know Shawn pretty well, yes? Who do you think would be selling him drugs? Any guesses? Oh, I see...Hmm...I'll look into it. Thanks. Okay, B-bye." John hung up the phone and stared at Shawn for a minute.

"What the f*ck do you want? You are evil. You told my best friend stuff that's supposed to be mine to tell," Shawn said angrily.

John, fed up with Shawn's attitude, grabbed him by his arm and pulled him over his knees. "That's it, kid. I'm sick of your constant attitude. Apologize to me. Right now." 

When Shawn still wouldn't listen, John did something he never thought he would actually do.

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. 

"Stop it, seriously! I'm not five!" Shawn yelled. 

"Oh yeah? Well, you sure have been acting like you're five. Apologize to me, then I'll think about stopping." 

Shawn kicked as hard as he could to get away from John. "F*ck off!" 

In response, John landed the smacks down heavier. "Quit swearing and apologize!" 

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. 

Shawn could feel the sting growing, but he wouldn't dare shed a tear, not in front of anyone. 

SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. John kept begging Shawn to simply apologize, but it wasn't working. John hesitated in thought before pulling down Shawn's pants to reveal a red-blotched backside and began reining down a few more hard blows. "Shawn, listen to me. It will go better for you if you just apologized, and we spoke man to man." 

It took a good twenty more swings before Shawn broke his string of curses and apologized. John pulled his pants back up and looked him in the eyes. 

Shawn tried to avoid John's gaze by covering his own eyes with a swoosh of his hair. "I'm sorry...but I just wish you'd let me be me," Shawn explained, trying not to let out too much emotion. 

John held Shawn by his shoulders. "Until you can show me I can trust you, I won't be letting you out of my sight. There's no way I'm letting you put yourself in danger, got it? Not any more...Now, do you care to tell me who sold you those drugs?" 

Shawn remained stoic, refusing to answer. John just sighed and kissed his head. "That's alright. The truth will come out eventually. Until then, hunker down 'caus you're gonna be spending a whole lot more time with me."

"Ugh...yay me..."


	7. Ch. 2/P. 4: Yep. Still Grounded. (TW: Drug Abuse)

"Hey Shawn, what are you doing after school today? Wanna hang out?" Cory asked, as they walked to class.

"I can't, Cory, remember? I'm still grounded."

"Well, how much longer will you be grounded for? This is killing me. Shawn, every time you get in trouble, it's like I'm in trouble too. You're like, my only friend I hang out with."

"No, 'caus you also got Topanga."

"She doesn't really count. She's just my girlfriend, and we're bros for life. Please, just, get ungrounded, for me?" Cory stuck his lip out in a pout and folded his hands together. "Pretty please, my Shawn?"

"Ugh. Fine. I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks. Turner is a cool guy. I bet you anything, with a little bribing, he'll give in."

"I don't know, Cor, I think I really screwed the pooch on this one. I don't even have a curfew anymore."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"No, that means I go straight home everyday. It sucks."

"Well, what do you do all evening, then?"

"What do YOU do when you're grounded? Absolutely nothing. It's the worst. I'm betting this is what jail is like. Although, my aunts and uncles say it's not that bad 'caus they get free TV and stuff. That would be the life, man."

"Hey, Hunter, Matthews, in my class. Hop to it," John called.

Shawn stopped John from entering the classroom. "Hey, I need to ask you a question quick."

"I just saw you at home. I need to teach a class that you are supposed to be learning in also. What's so urgent?"

"Can I be ungrounded, please?"

"No."

"But why?" Shawn whined.

John shot him an irritated glare. "I'm not gonna have this discussion with you right now. After class, K?"

"Fine..."

Shawn sat in his seat as John began his lecture. Not surprising in the least was Shawn beginning to doze off. He bobbed his head through the majority of the class time, but John didn't feel the need to interrupt the class every time Shawn did something he didn't like. If he did, they wouldn't have time for class. By the end, Shawn was snoring obnoxiously. John banged on his desk to wake him up. Shawn jolted awake.

John crossed his arms as he stared at his lethargic teenager, waiting for some kind of explanation. "What am I gonna do with you, Shawn? Sleeping in my class–again. It doesn't make sense how you've been so tired lately. You spend so much time at home and go to bed at a decent time. What am I missing here?"

Shawn didn't reply. He put his head back down instead.

"Answer me. Right now."

With still no answer, John gave Shawn a flick on the neck.

"Knock it off, okay? I'm just tired."

"It looks to me that you're unmotivated." John picked up a chair and sat in it backwards, facing Shawn. "Here's what we're gonna do then. I'm gonna motivate you. Instead of sleeping in my class, you're gonna assist me in class. That means handing out papers, reorganizing, cleaning, anything I ask you to do, you'll do it. Got me?"

"John, just let me be. I'm just tired. It's no big deal."

"Well, I think it is, 'caus it means you are learning nothing when you're here...Since you'll be so busy assisting me in class, that means you'll have to make up the missed class time at home. It'll keep you occupied while you're grounded."

Shawn's head shot up. "Please, John, no...I'll wash your motorcycle and give it a good wax if you can let me be ungrounded."

"No, Shawn. That is not how this works. I'm done discussing it. Starting tomorrow, you will be my classroom assistant for the periods that you have me, then after school, you will finish up any classroom work you missed. Now, head to your next class before the bell rings."

Shawn groaned and slouched further in his seat. "You've turned into such a party pooper."

"'Caus you need one of those in your life right now–to kick you into gear. Now, go." John tried shewing him off with his hand. 

Shawn was greatly annoyed at John's stubbornness, but he decided not to push the issue further. He hung his head as he walked to his next class. 

........................................................................................................................

*Turner's Apartment*

"Hey Shawn, want some supper or something?" John asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"Naw, I'm actually tired. I just wanna go to bed for the night."

John paused and narrowed his eyes at Shawn. "Dude, it's not even nine. Are you feeling alright? Come here."

"I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Come here anyway."

Shawn sighed and walked toward John. John felt his forehead. "You don't seem sick or nothing." 

"Feeling my forehead isn't the end all, be all for diagnosing illnesses, John. Anyway, I'm just gonna go to bed. Don't wait up."

"Fine. G'night, pal."

Shawn began to walk away, but John stopped him. "Hey! Give me a hug first," John insisted.

"I'm not a kid, John."

"No, but you're _my_ kid. C'mon, just one hug."

"You're just gonna squeeze my guts out again like last time."

"Maybe...maybe not," John said with a smirk. Shawn relented and allowed John his hug.

Shawn grunted as John squeezed the daylights out of him. "You're killing me. STOP," Shawn croaked. John kissed the top of his head as he squirmed, but he was able to gather enough force to shove him off.

"Alright, alright. G'night. Love ya," John said, giving him a small grin as Shawn made his way up to his room.

_John needs to let up. He's driving me absolutely INSANE. I'm not some little kid. I'm basically a full-fledged adult, with a job, and I'm gonna treat myself as such. Now, where's that rope..._

Shawn rummaged around his landfill of a room until he spotted his trusty rope hiding under some of his barely-used textbooks. _Bingo. I'm outta here._ He noosed one end of the rope around one of the desk legs, then managed to duck out of his window and slide down the rope. It was a VERY long rope, industrial strength. "Okay, now where's my uncle's house again? East, no West...Wait...Oh, yeah, it's that trailer park behind those dumpsters on eleventh street. Okay..." Shawn jogged the entire way there (which was about a mile and a half). When he got there, he banged on the door of his uncle's rusty trailer, waking up some of the neighbor's dogs.

Uncle Mike opened the door. "What the h*ll do you want this time of night, boy? I was just gettin' comfy."

"Sorry, but I needed some space from John. Can I come in?"

"Sure, why not." Uncle Mike led him into his little living room. "You want something? Maybe some hot cocoa? A Corona or Coors Light?" Mike wasn't joking. 

"No, I actually have a favor to ask you...I was kinda hoping you would consider letting me work for you again so I could get that car."

Uncle Mike paused in thought, rubbing his chin. "Tell ya what, in the morning, you and I can peruse the lot of scrap metal I got behind my shop. I'm pretty sure I have a car that just needs a bit of tweaking. You could have that one."

Shawn rose up on his tippy-toes in excitement. "Really? That would be so awesome! So no more work then?"

"You don't have to worry about that. Consider it a gift for my favorite nephew."

"YES. I'm the favorite. I'm gonna rub it in Jack's snobby rich-kid face next time I see him." Shawn laughed, giving his uncle a bear hug (something he normally wouldn't do, but he was just _that_ ecstatic). 

"Alright, is that all then, or were you hoping I'd score you some more pot?"

"Um..." Shawn thought about his options. _If I stay the night, then duck out and get back in bed before 5am, I wouldn't get caught...I could just shower real good...Yeah...Just in time for school. Genius._ "Sure, why not."

Mike looked at Shawn with intense eyes. "Remember our deal. Hush hush."

"Of course. I wouldn't tell a soul." Shawn smirked and did a little excited hop, making his hair flip.

"Here. So you don't smell, I found an edible you could try." Mike unwrapped it and handed it to Shawn–who tried to grab a match and light it. Just before the marijuana brownie caught fire, Shawn's uncle stopped him. "Whoa, whoa there. You EAT this. It's an EDIBLE."

"Oh, so that's what edible means."

"Good thing I love you so much...We Hunters were never super keen on words and such. We're more action people anyway."

Uncle Mike guided Shawn's hand to his mouth. "There, chomp that up. Savor it. Enjoy it."

Shawn did just that. "Mmm...This is so good," he said with bits of brownie falling from his lips. He waited a few minutes, standing as still as he could. "I don't feel anything yet."

"Oh, trust me, you will. Just give it time. Soon, you'll be high as a kite. It's fantastic. It lasts a while too..."

"Oh, I could get used to this...Thanks man."

"Any time, pal...Alright, I'll make a cot up for you." Uncle Mike beamed at him. "You're a good boy, Shawnee. Thanks for visiting me."

"Yeah, I would see you more except I'm grounded for, like, eternity."

Uncle Mike hoisted his pants up and narrowed his eyes. "That John guy really has you under his constant control, doesn't he?"

"He sure does...Hey, this should wear off by tomorrow, right? Like, I'll be fine to go to school and such, yeah?"

Uncle Mike hesitated. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine. It wasn't that big of a brownie." 

**~Tee he...I'm thinking that was a bigger brownie than he thought...Let's see what kind of trouble Shawn's gonna get into now. Good Luck! Happy Reading!**


	8. Ch. 2/P. 5: Busted. Big Time. (TW: Drug Abuse, Depressed)

~FYI: John did not check on Shawn previously, so he does not know Shawn snuck out. He was trying to give him space, which he then regrets later.

*John Adams High School-Turner's Classroom...the next day*

"Okay, Shawn. For your first task as my classroom assistant, I want you to transfer my lesson plan for the day on the chalkboard, word for word, got it?"

"Huh?" Shawn glanced at John groggily, almost like he was half-asleep.

"You look like you are sleeping standing up..." John gave him a strange look. "Alright, I said I want you to transfer what I got from here to here." He gestured from the lesson plan book to the board. "Got it?"

Shawn groaned. "Yeah..." He began to write on the board, but his writing was sloppier than usual. He couldn't even write in a straight line.

"What's that say there? Shawn, has your handwriting gotten that bad? Wowza. I hope I don't have to fire you on your first day."

"Well, it wouldn't be the worst thing that's happened to me," Shawn said sarcastically.

"Erase it, and try again," John ordered.

"If you don't like it, then you can do it," Shawn argued.

"I wasn't asking you. Don't test me, kid."

Shawn set the chalk down in frustration. "I'm outta here then." He began to trudge out of the classroom.

"Excuse me? GET back here. I'm not done with you."

"Well, I'm plenty DONE WITH YOU."

Without another word, John raced ahead of Shawn and shut the classroom door on him. "You are going nowhere. Sit." He led him to his desk and forced him down. "I've heard quite enough from you today. What is up?" He paused, then sniffed Shawn's hair.

"Quit it! That's so weird!" Shawn batted his nose away.

"Well, you don't smell like weed, but something is off about you today. You slept well?"

"I slept fine, thank you."

"Look at me." John grabbed Shawn's shoulders and stared him in the eye. "Be straight with me...You high again?"

"No, I'm not," Shawn lied.

"You better not be, or you won't like me very much." 

Shawn just glared at him in response.

The first bell rang, indicating students should be heading to their first class of the day. John raced to the chalkboard to redo Shawn's chalky mess before the rest of the students arrived. Most of the class shuffled in, with Cory at the back. The second bell hadn't rung yet, so that meant the students were free to chat for a few more minutes.

Cory sat down in his seat and cranked his neck to visit with Shawn. "Hey, Shawn! Wow, you don't look so good. What happened to you?"

"It's nothing, Cory. Just leave me alone," Shawn said defensively, slumping down into his chair.

"I think I know my best friend pretty well, and I know for a FACT something is off about you. Just tell me."

"Lay off, will ya?!" Shawn yelled.

"No, I'm your best friend. I CARE about you. Why don't you tell me? Don't you trust me?" Cory looked offended.

The last bell rang, indicating class had begun.

"Alright, class, toda-" John started.

"CORY, NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU," Shawn boomed. He jolted up from his seat and tackled Cory onto the ground. "How do you like me now? Huh?" Cory struggled to get out from under Shawn.

"GET OFF OF ME," Cory boomed back.

John stopped his introductions and ran to pull Shawn off of Cory. "This has gone FAR enough! Both of you, with me, let's go." John grabbed a hold of both of the boys' arms and led them to the principal's office, not wanting to waste any more class time. It was only the three of them in the office. "Alright, what the heck is going on?" He said impatiently, arms folded.

"I don't know, Mr. Turner...I just asked Shawn if he was okay, and then he got on top of me," Cory explained.

John shot Shawn an intimidating glare. "Is that true?"

Shawn cowered. "Does it matter? This is all a waste of time...I'm leaving."

"Oh no, you don't!" John blocked the doorway of Mr. Feeny's office.

"I'm not leaving the school. I just gotta pee, okay?" Shawn lied.

"I don't have time for this...Cory, go with Shawn to the bathroom. Be sure he comes back to class, got me?" Cory nodded as John sent Shawn one last glare and stormed back to his classroom.

It was Cory's turn to lecture. "Shawn, you-"

"Just, STOP it. Get out of my way." Shawn pushed Cory out of the way and started out of the room.

"Where do you think you're going?" Cory asked.

"None of your business. Just go back to class, like the goodie-two-shoes you are," Shawn mocked. Cory was about to protest again, but instead he decided to let Shawn go and find Eric, his brother. He looked first in the bathroom, and of course, he found him gawking at himself in the mirror.

"Eric! I need a huge favor.”

"The answer is no."

"But it's not for me. It's about Shawn. I think he's in trouble."

"Well then, I guess I better drop everything and help you, huh?" Eric said sarcastically.

"If you have even an ounce of love for your younger brother, you would help me." Cory latched onto his arm, begging for him to reconsider.

Eric smiled at his brother's pathetic groveling. "Fine, but under one condition..."

"How come there always has to be a condition with you? Okay, what is it?"

"You give me five bucks."

"What? That's it?"

"Yeah, I spent all of my money already, and I need some lunch today." 

"Fine, here." Cory handed him the five. "Now, let's go before it's too late."

"What? No explanation?"

"No time. Follow me. We're gonna need your car." Cory rushed Eric out the doors of Adams High. They looked around but couldn't see Shawn. 

"Crap, he's gotta be here...Eric, I need you to pick me up with your car at the front of the school. I'm gonna go around back quickly to see if he's there. I'm sure he hasn't gone too far since he can't drive."

"Okay, whatever." Eric listened to Cory and parked out front.

Cory ran around the circumference of the school to see if he could find Shawn. "Where in the world could he be?" He scoured the premises until, out of dumb luck, he spotted some guy's brown, floppy hair bobbing inside a random old car. Shawn. Bingo. Cory ran around to the front and got into Eric's car. "Okay, Eric, I need you to drive around the school until you see a dented, old, red car. You can't miss it. He's in it."

"Okay? And why are we following him again?"

"'Caus he's in trouble, Eric."

"What? Is this some type of kidnapping thing?"

"No, of course not. Shawn would put up too much of a fight...Stop asking questions, and drive."

Eric pulled around the school. "Oh! There he is! I see him!" Eric was about to blow their cover by honking the horn, but Cory stopped him.

"What are you thinking, moron? We don't want him to know we're here!" Cory punched Eric's arm. "They're starting off. Just follow them."

"Gotcha."

The duo followed Shawn in the old car until they reached Uncle Mike's Repair Shop.

"Oh...okay? That's odd. Why would Shawn come here? Eric, I need you to drop me off, then hide your car somewhere until I need you. Keep an eye on me, K?" Cory explained.

"No, just wait..Let's see where he goes first...Okay, so he's going in the shop with some guy."

"Oh! That's Shawn's Uncle Mike! Duck! I think Shawn might've seen us." Eric and Cory ducked, then exchanged a look of panic.

Eric then slowly rose up. "The coast is clear, but I don't see them anymore."

"Okay, then. It's my plan. Let me go out and I'll go around to see what they're up to."

"Fine, but be back in five minutes." Eric flashed five fingers in Cory's face. "And if you take longer, then it'll mean more cash for me."

Cory rolled his eyes and exited the car. "Wish me luck." 

They gave each other a thumbs up, then Cory skulked near the shrubbery right outside the shop. _Should I just go in? No, bad idea...They'll see me...I'll sneak around the back way._ He circled around but had to retreat behind the back corner of the shop in order to not be seen by Shawn and his uncle as they made their way toward a pile of junk with a tool kit in hand. _What are they doing? It's all just junk..._

Shawn turned slightly as he leaned over the edge of a dented, olive green pick up truck. _D*mn...The guy is smoking. Shawn is smoking..._ Cory ducked behind a bush to avoid Shawn's gaze. _I've got to tell Turner._

Cory army-crawled to the front of the shop, then made a sprint toward Eric's car. Out of breath, he opened the door. "ERIC, I WAS RIGHT."

"What were YOU right about?"

"Shawn was in trouble...He was smoking."

"So? That's his choice. It's his life. Stay out of it."

"No, I can't just do that! He's my BEST FRIEND, Eric."

"Okay, what's your plan then?"

Cory hesitated and sat down in the passenger seat. "I don't know..."

"Well, whatever you do, DON'T tell his dad."

"Why not?"

"You know why not. He'll never speak to you again."

"But I don't want him dying from cigarette poisoning."

"Oh, pssh...Like that'd happen...Stay out of it if you know what's good for you." Eric shot him an intense stare.

"Okay, fine."

When Eric and Cory got back to the high school, Eric took Cory aside and lifted him up by his shirt. "Listen, if you rat on Shawn, I WILL come find you, and I will give you a massive atomic wedgie, you hear?"

"Yes, yes, okay."

"Good. Now, run your little heiny to class before I make you give me five more bucks."

Cory ignored his threat and ran as fast as he could into the school. _I've gotta find Turner..._ He sprinted in the halls until he was stopped by Mr. Feeny.

"Excuse me, Mr. Matthews, you know better than to run in the halls...Why are you not in class?"

"I'll explain later. I HAVE to talk to Turner. This second."

"It's 1:45pm. He's in class, as you should be."

"No, please, I need to go find him. It's urgent."

"Tell me why, Mr. Matthews, or else I will give you detention for the rest of the week for skipping class."

"Okay so, me and Eric followed Shawn when he ditched class today. He went with his uncle to go smoke."

"Is that so? Well, if that is true, why did you feel responsible to go looking for him instead of worrying about your own education?"

"I care about him. I want him to be safe, Mr. Feeny."

Mr. Feeny paused. "Alright, Mr. Matthews, I believe you. Let's you and I head to my office and call Mr. Turner via the intercom. That way we don't make a scene."

"Okay. Thanks, Feeny."

"You're welcome, Mr. Matthews." The two walked down the hall and into his office. Feeny announced his request for Turner to report down to the principal's office. 

Not five minutes later, John came bounding down the hall and entering the room. "Oh, hey, George, Cory? What's going on?"

Feeny gave John an apologetic look, then it turned grim. "Your boy is at it again, Mr. Turner."

"What do you mean?"

"Cory...You have the stage." Feeny gestured for Cory to explain.

Cory gulped, then cleared his throat. "Mr. Turner...Don't get mad at me please. I really tried to stop him...Shawn played hookie to go smoke with his Uncle Mike."

"How do you know that?" John questioned, confused.

"Well, I had Eric take me to track him down. We followed him all the way to his uncle's mechanic place. I saw them smoking something while working on a beat up, old truck."

John's face turned ashen as he stared blank-eyed at the floor. He furrowed his eyebrows as his anger rose. He breathed out to calm himself down. "Well, thank you, Cory, for being so honest with me. I'm not mad at you. You have always been a good friend and role model for Shawn. I am, however, extremely disappointed in Shawn. I guess I'll have to head over there now and get him." He shifted on his weight, pondering something.

"Mr. Turner, don't worry about your class. I will make sure they are looked after. You go get Shawn," Feeny instructed.

"Thank you, George. Thank you so much. I'm so sorry about this," John replied. He shook Feeny's hand then patted Cory's shoulder. "Good men, you are. Wish me luck." 

He then speed-walked out of the school to his motorcycle, like a man on a mission. He sped as fast as he could without breaking too many laws. Once he arrived at Uncle Mike's shop, he breathed again to calm himself down, then entered into the quaint little building. He looked around for a second but couldn't find Mike or Shawn.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" He looked around the place, but found it odd that no one was available to help him. Walking out, he punched the side of the building in frustration, then yelped out in pain. "Ouch! SON OF A-" He paused for a minute, then decided to walk around the property. _Cory said Shawn was here, so he's gotta be here._ John peered around the outside corner at the back of the shop. _That little turd_...

"SHAWN PATRICK HUNTER. YOU ARE DEAD MEAT." John's voice carried far and loud, making both Shawn and his uncle jump. He trudged over to the two of them who had just completed the finishing touches on the pick up truck. Without another word, he yanked Shawn away and began to escort him to his bike.

They were almost to the bike when Shawn kicked John in the shin, making him hop on one foot for a second. "Let the f*ck go of me! You have no right to drag me away from my family!"

Shawn tried to make his escape, but John picked him up by his waist. "STOP. Settle down. I'm going to let you go, but you better explain to me what's going on here." He set Shawn down and made him look him in the eye. "Just tell me one thing, Shawn, what were you thinking ditching school to hang out with your uncle? Huh?"

"I was...well, what did it look like? We were just working on a car!"

"Shawn, DO NOT LIE TO ME. I heard a little bird tell me you have been smoking marijiana again."

"WHO? Who told you?!"

"It doesn't matter. I know you're lying, and you are in over your head right now. You're not gonna like me when we get home. Get on this bike."

"NO. I'm staying here and driving home with my truck we fixed up."

"GET on my bike, NOW."

Concerned by all the commotion, Uncle Mike ran up to them and got in between them. Mike stared John down. "You do not talk to my nephew that way! He has every right to be here."

"Well, he's my son! I could show you the papers I signed saying that he is in MY care, MY responsibility. It says that I am QUALIFIED to raise him, which says more than anything you could say about yourself...I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me the next time you decide to take him out of school, if there will even BE a next time."

"You can't take Shawn away from me!" Mike yelled, getting in John's face.

"Yeah! Mike is my uncle, by BLOOD. You can't separate us," Shawn countered. "Just GO HOME, John."

John was hurt and about to leave them there, but he changed his mind. "Oh, yes I CAN separate you, Shawn. I am your dad, whether you like it or not, and I WILL NOT let you or any of your 'family' throw your future away. You are coming home with me. You are under MY roof, not Mike's." Shawn tried to dodge John's grip, but he ended up grabbing Shawn and lifting him off the ground again. "Mike, is that car good to go?"

"It is, actually."

"Tell ya what, I'll put this all behind me, and won't get the cops involved, if you let me take Shawn and this car, as well as something to tow my bike behind. Then, we'll leave. Deal?"

"Okay, deal."

"No, Uncle Mike!" Shawn yelled.

"Shawn, I can't get in trouble with the cops again. I’m on probation. One more infraction, and I'd be looking at quite a few years in jail. I can't afford that right now. I hope you understand."

"Yeah, I understand," Shawn said, with angry disappointment. 

Uncle Mike fixed them up with what they needed, then John grabbed Shawn's arm and began to escort him into the car.

"Let me go!" Shawn shook him loose, but John grabbed his arm again. He flipped him over his shoulder, then plopped him down into the passenger seat of the old, junk-metal truck. 

The car ride was dead silent. Shawn had really put some strain on their relationship this time. He tried to break the silence. "Look, I'm-"

"Just- Not right now, K?" John was gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning completely white. "When we get home, I don't want to see your face for a while. I am over-the-top FURIOUS with you right now. I suggest you hide out in your room if you know what's good for you."

Shawn couldn't bear to look at his dad. He could feel the heat emanating from him, as well as his own instant regret. His vision grew blurry with tears as he thought of how stupid he had been to worry John that much. He knew it would hurt him, too, but he didn't care at the time. Now, he was sorry. John had never gotten this silent on him before. That must've meant he had really messed up this time.

When they got to their apartment, John gave Shawn a slight nudge and pointed to the stairs. "ROOM. NOW."

Shawn sunk his head down in shame and obeyed. _I'm so screwed. Why do I always have to go too far? I suck..._ Shawn collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling. His face contorted in frustration. He began to scream nonsense, for no reason in particular, just to blow off steam. 

Shawn, in bitter self-loathing, began to punch his head. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Now I'm never gonna see that car or freedom again. My life is completely over_. He remained in that position for the next few hours, skipping supper, even though he was ravenously hungry. He just stared at the popcorn ceiling, almost in a trance, in an effort to punish himself. Perhaps the marijuana was still in effect too, making him even more depressed. 

After dinner, he heard a light knock at the door. Shawn turned over, trying to hide his face. 

"Shawn? It's just me." John sat on the bed next to Shawn and paused, staring at his pathetic state. "Can we talk?"

"What is there to even talk about?"

"I need you to sit up and look me in the eye, Shawn."

Shawn hesitated but decided to comply. "What? Did you come here to lecture me about the risks and benefits of drugs again?"

"Nope..." John's face looked as though he had been fretting over something. He looked extremely exhausted. His eyes were a blotchy red and puffy. John pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Be honest with me here...Am I who you want to stay with? I mean, is this still a good fit?"

"Well, you're fine, John...It's me. It's not you." Shawn leaned over with his head in his hands. "I'm no good. I'm a lost cause, John. Just get rid of me."

"Like I said a thousand times before, I love you, man. I would never want to get rid of you. I couldn't live without you."

"If you don't, I will."

"What does that mean, Shawn?" John's eyes grew wide. He shook him. "Tell me what you mean by that, Shawn!" His voice cracked. 

Shawn got up and walked into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him. John banged on the door. "Shawn! Open up! Don't make me break this door down, 'caus I will!"

Shawn answered, sobbing, "I can't do this anymore...I make you miserable. It would be better for everyone if I wasn't here." Silence ensued, causing John to get desperate.

"Alright, Shawn, I'm kicking this door down, one way or another." John did a running start and barged at the door. It didn't budge. He tried it again, but this time, harder.

It still didn't budge.

He kicked the door in frustration. John sprinted out of the room to grab a drill. When he came back, he began to take the doorknob apart. "Shawn, I'm coming for you. Hold on." The doorknob fell with a loud crack on the floor. John then budged the door open. He turned the light on to see Shawn curled up in his knees on the floor. Sitting beside him, he sat him up and held him tight."You okay, bud?" John asked. Shawn remained silent, breathing heavily into his knees. "C'mon, answer me."

"I just- I want to belong somewhere..."

"You belong with me, kid. Just listen, I know it's been hard for you, with parents gone a lot when you were younger. I'm sure it didn't feel good to be treated that way...but now you're with me. Things are gonna be a lot different here with me. I wouldn't leave, even if you wanted me to." John kissed the top of his head and messed his hair. "Now, I hope you didn't mean what you said before 'caus I would have to keep you in my line of vision at all times. I will NOT let you end things, Shawn. Suicide is never the answer, and you know you can come to me with anything."

"Yeah, I know, John...It was a moment of weakness. I'll be fine."

"You promise me you won't hurt yourself?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay good...Now, about your Uncle Mike, you are no longer allowed to work for him or be with him unless I'm there. He's an awful influence on you. Please don't skip school like that again..."

"But he's my uncle!"

"Sure, but he's also an ex-convict. No visiting him unless I'm there with you."

"Okay fine..."

"...and another thing...I saw a rope on the floor in your room. What were you using it for?"

Shawn realized he was caught, so he figured there was no point in lying any more about it. "I've been using it to escape at night."

"Whew, I'm glad. I thought maybe you were going to use it for...ending things...but your explanation would make sense since it was attached to your desk. It must've fallen on the floor, 'caus that's how I saw it when I came in just now...Thank you for being honest with me about it. As of late, I've had a hard time trusting you. You know I still have to punish you, right?"

Shawn looked up from his knees and stared at John. "What? Another month of grounding?"

"I was thinking more like two actually."

Shawn groaned at the thought of a longer sentence.

"It's either another 2 months of being grounded (with no car or freedom whatsoever) or it's being my classroom assistant for the rest of the year. You choose."

"Classroom assistant, then."

"Good choice...Now, in that case, you will finish being grounded after this week, but then you'll start helping me at school and doing extra school work and chores at home, got it?"

"Okay...Does that mean I can hang out with Cory again?"

"After this week, yes."

"And what about the truck?"

"If you have time after all your school work and chores are done, then you can start studying for the written portion of the driver's test."

Shawn gave John a squeeze until he couldn't breathe. John wheezed and laughed in response. "Thank you. Thank you so much, John. I guess you do care about me, huh?"

"I never stopped caring, and I never will, that you can bank on."


	9. Ch. 3/P. 1: The Biggest Mistake of My Life

Shawn's POV:

Things have been looking up, I dare say...John has been nice enough to unground me, so that's a plus, and Veronica Watson still wants to be with me! She's got good taste in guys (obviously, since she's dating me). We've been officially dating now for a little over two months, which is some kind of record for me. The one annoying thing is John still won't let us go anywhere alone, so often we have Cory and Topanga "chaperone." If having your teacher as a parent wasn't bad enough, John has let the power get to his head and has been really harping on me a lot about school work. It also doesn't help that word has gone around that I'm his classroom assistant. Man, people can be mean. I hope the nickname "teacher's pet slave" doesn't stick. Now I've gotta try doubly hard to just have the space to breathe AND to keep up what's left of my reputation. At least once I can drive, I'll be able to basically go anywhere I want, and I could have Veronica all to myself. I mean, if I just drive far enough, our chances of getting caught alone would be pretty slim. Yep, I got big plans, very big plans, as long as they don't get trampled on by John, that is.

*Turner's Apartment*

"Shawn, your assignment on Hamlet, where is it?" John quizzed, towering over him while he ate his breakfast at the island.

Shawn dropped his fork to think. "Oh, I-Uh...wait...what assignment?"

"Ya know, the one that I gave you just yesterday? I told you to finish it and turn it in to me today before school. Where did you leave it?"

"John, you've been working me like a dog. It's kinda hard having to deal with everything at school, then go home to do more school. I almost wish I just went with the 2 more months of being grounded."

"Well, no biggie...I'll just go get you another copy of it. Good thing I'm your teacher too, huh? I have an unlimited supply of copies." John smiled wide as he went to fetch another copy.

"Oh, goodie," Shawn said sarcastically. "Hey, John, can Veronica and I go to the movies tonight?"

"Sure, pal, if you get everything done before then."

Shawn groaned. "C'mon, John, can you just give me one day of leniency? I promise I'll make it up to you."

"You're not doing the homework for my sake, Shawn. This is YOUR education here. I just assign the material."

"So, since it's MY education, that should mean I can choose WHEN and HOW to do it."

"Nice try. Here." John placed the Hamlet assignment in front of him.

Shawn stared at it for a few seconds. "What's the point? Why would I ever need to know about Hamlet? Is Hamlet gonna be my sugar daddy and make me rich?"

"Shawn, stop complaining. I didn't make the rules, but if you just applied yourself a little bit, then you might start to realize the importance of an education. I hope you realize it before it's too late." John gave him a stern expression and pointed at the assignment. "This paper better be finished before your date tonight, or no date...and be sure Cory and Topanga can come as well, or no date, capeesh?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know..."

"Oh, before I forget...I pulled a few strings." John dug in his briefcase and handed Shawn a packet. "Here's the driver's manual you'll need to start studying! Just one step closer to independence, huh, Shawn?"

"Yeah, yay...Then I can get away from YOU."

John scoffed, surprised at Shawn's lack of excitement. "Oh, is that jab supposed to hurt my feelings? Well, you're gonna have to do a lot more than that. I'll take your frustration as a sign that I'm doing something right."

"You enjoy torturing me, don't you?"

"Yes, yes I do." John patted Shawn's shoulder and grinned. "Shawn, all joking aside, you can do this, okay? You can succeed at school and in your driver's test. You just gotta focus."

"I know, John. Can you give me some space? Let me hurry up and finish this." Shawn began to scribble illegible sentences onto the page as John watched intently over his shoulder.

"Nope. That is NOT gonna cut it. I need to be able to read it."

Shawn shot John an "I'm gonna kill you" glance. "Just...let me do this, John, K?"

John raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. As long as I can decipher an 'S' from an 'M'."

..........................................................................................................................

*Turner's Classroom*

"Hey, Shawn," Veronica said, threading her hands through his hair as he sat at his desk.

"Oh, hey babe...Plant one, right here." Shawn bent his head back to look her in the eye and put his finger to his lips.

Veronica giggled, then pressed her lips on his. John snapped his fingers. "Hey, the bell rang. Get to your seat, Veronica, and you both know the rules. No PDA in my classroom."

Veronica cheerfully obeyed, but Shawn rolled his eyes and slouched further in his seat. "You're worse than Feeny. At least he lets his students kiss."

John sent him a warning look. "This is MY classroom. There will be no kissing here. I suggest you abide by the rule, or there will be no kissing, period."

"You can't do that...Can he do that, Cory?"

"How should I know? Hey, we still good for tonight?" Cory whispered.

"Yeah, it's on like Donkey Kong." Shawn secretly slipped Cory the movie tickets. "Tickets to the scariest movie you'll ever see."

Cory read the ticket. "Scream? I don't know, Shawn. I don't do well in scary movies. Remember last time?"

"Okay, but you did drink a liter of soda. Just don't drink anything this time, and you'll be fine."

Cory hesitated. "I don't know, Shawn..."

Shawn gave him a knowing smirk. "Scream will make our girls scream, which in turn, will make us scream...with intense pleasure. It's all in my master plan. You just wait."

Cory paused, then gasped in realization. "Oh, I see...I'm in then." They exchanged smiles and fist bumps, then, as usual, sank into their own little worlds while John lectured.

Shawn's POV:

So, I made it through school today, alive. I hurried and finished up all of my homework, and now I can just relax with my girl and my friends. Nothing is gonna ruin this night. Cory and Topanga should be arriving around 6pm to pick me and V up since Cory lucked out and got his license before me. As soon as I get my license, ain't nobody gonna be taking me anywhere. I will have all the power, but I guess until then, Cory it is.

*Rrrring rrring*

"Just, stay there John. I got it!" Shawn zoomed from the couch to pick up the phone.

"Hey, Shawn."

"Oh, what's up, Cor?"

"Don't be mad at me, but...I can't make it tonight anymore."

"WHY NOT?"

"I forgot that my Grandma Bernice was coming over today. I never get to see her, Shawn."

"Party pooper. I just want to let you know that you completely sabotaged my night." Shawn remembered John was still in the room, so he lowered his voice. "I'm not allowed to even go without you."

"What? Turner won't let you go with Veronica alone?"

"No."

"That's just dumb. I'm sorry, Shawn."

"Yeah, whatever, like it makes much difference to you. Have fun rolling curlers in your hair with your grandma."

"Wish I could help you, sorry."

Shawn slammed the phone down hard in frustration.

"Whoa, whoa, there. What's goin' on?" John asked.

"It's...nothing. Just some pizza delivery guy mixing up his orders."

"Okay? Alrighty then...So, you excited for the movies?"

Shawn faked a smile. "Yes I am...I'm gonna go freshen up."

"Wait. Just one more question..."

"Yes?"

"When are Cory and Topanga coming over?"

"Oh, they're just parked out back. That's what that call was about."

"I thought you said it was the pizza delivery guy mixing up orders?"

"I said that? No...It was just a figure of speech." Shawn chuckled nervously. "Alright, I'm just gonna go freshen up before Veronica gets here."

John just shrugged it off. "Okay then, hurry."

Shawn scurried up to his bedroom and collected a few essentials, including a comb, some mints, and a condom. This could be my lucky night. He then checked himself twice over in the mirror before bounding back down the stairs. A knock was heard at the door.

"Hi, Veronica. Shawn, it's Veronica!" John called. Shawn pushed past him and tried to rush out the door with her, but John stopped him in his tracks.

"John, I already know the spiel. Curfew at 10pm. I know," Shawn said, trying to leave again.

"Just...come here." John pulled Shawn close and smelled his breath. "Alright, minty fresh. A guy's gotta take care of his homies. Have fun, and be safe tonight."

Shawn gave him a weird look. "Thanks, I guess...okay, b-bye." Shawn shut the door behind him and let out a deep breath. "Alright, Veronica, let's go to those movies." Shawn pulled her into a kiss. "You ready?"

"Of course I am...Why are you so excited? It's just the movies, silly."

"Anything we do is exciting 'caus it's with you." He held her hand and made her sprint down the flights of stairs with him. When they got outside the apartment building, he stopped her in her tracks. "Okay, hear me out...There's been a slight change of plans...Cory and Topanga bailed, so we have to find another way to get to the movies."

"Who says we have to go to the movies?"

"Oh, you BAD girl. I like the way you think." Shawn's face gleamed with exhilaration. "So, I mean, I have a few things in mind."

"Tell me."

"I'll just show you. Come with me." Shawn quickly led her to his truck that was parked in a dark alleyway behind the apartment building. He opened the back passenger door. "Hop in."

"I thought you couldn't drive."

"I can't, but who says we have to drive it? Right here could be our date."

Veronica paused to think. "Sure, why not." She slid into the back seat and patted the spot beside her flirtatiously. "Have you ever done this before, Shawn?"

"Does it matter? I know how it's done." Shawn shut the door behind him and put an arm around her shoulder. "You ready?"

In response, Veronica pushed Shawn over and let gravity and hormones do the rest. They kissed for a while, but the excitement from the kissing began to wear off. "Ya know what? I want more." Without any protests from Veronica, Shawn began to let his body do things that it had never done before. He felt every possible square inch of her body that he had only previously imagined.

"Oh wait...before we get too far." Shawn pulled out his trusty condom.

"Smart, play it safe." Veronica giggled as she took the condom from him. "Here, let me do it." She reached down and began to unzip his pants, and the rest was history.

.............................................................................................................................(A/N: Sorry, sex scenes are not my forte. Just use your imagination.)

"Wow." Shawn stared into Veronica's sparkly eyes as he let his fingers follow the curve of her hip. "That. Was. Amazing."

"Yeah, it sure was...Let's do it again sometime soon." Veronica planted one last kiss on Shawn. Shawn then helped Veronica put her clothes back on.

"You want me to help you put yours back on now?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, but I don't know what to do with this." He detached the condom and held it up. "Oh no...I think it broke." A look of panic flashed across Shawn's face. He began to hyperventilate. "This CANNOT be happening right now."

"Shawn, I'm sure it'll be okay. It's just a little tear."

In a frenzy, Shawn put his clothes back on and opened the car door. "No. No. No...This is bad. Veronica, bye. I don't think I can see you again."

"What? Why? Wait...Shawn!"

Shawn fled the car as fast as he could, not looking back. Sh*t. Once Shawn was safe inside the apartment, he slammed the door and slid down to the floor in a heap.

"Shawn? What on earth? You're home early." John rose from the couch where he was grading papers to approach Shawn. "You okay?"

"NO, JOHN. I AM NOT OKAY." Shawn beat the floor with his fist.

"Well, tell me what happened." John slid down the wall to sit beside Shawn.

"I messed up. I messed up big time, man."

"What did you do?"

"The condom broke. It F*CKING BROKE. How is that even possible?"

"Excuse me? The condom? So, you didn't go to the movies, huh?"

"Nope."

"Please tell me you were using the condom as a balloon, or prank, or something."

Shawn shot him a weird look. "No, of course not. We had sex, okay? I'm sorry. It was a mistake."

"Let me get this straight, you lied to me about going to the movies so you could have sex with Veronica?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, I see, I see...Hmm..."

"JOHN, WHAT THE F*CK DO I DO?"

"And the condom broke...yikes. Man, how many times do I have to tell you to wait, to be smart? Like, a million?"

"I know, John. I know."

"Well, it's too late for the sex talk I assume. Shawn, I don't know what to say. I'm very disappointed in you." John stared at the floor, trying to sort out his own emotions before saying anything more.

"Say something, John. Please, anything. Anything to make this go away."

"I can't just make it go away. This kind of thing you can't just take back. It's your life, Shawn. Your choices and your consequences. I don't know what else to say. I can lecture you till I'm blue in the face, but it ain't gonna change anything unless YOU make the choice. I just hope you can start making the right ones, Shawn...I really hope nothing comes from this."

"Yeah, me too."

Silence ensued as the pair sat on the floor in shock.

"John?"

"Yes?"

"What if she gets pregnant?"

"She won't."

"But what if she does?"

"Just...We'll worry about that if it happens...Until then, we'll just have to wait it out. Please, just don't do this again until you're ready, please, and with the right person. I'd say even until marriage, if you can help it."

Shawn looked at him. "You're weird."

"Yeah, well, would you believe me if I said I've been in this same tough spot?"

"You were?"

"Yep...You're not alone, that's for sure...and I felt the exact same way you do. It's a terrifying experience. That's why, if you would've come to me and asked BEFORE doing it, I could've given you some advice."

"Sorry..."

"Let's just hope nothing comes from this."

"You got that right."


	10. Ch. 3/P. 2: Love is Torture

Disclaimer: Yes, I realize that in this day and age, 10 and 2 for having our hands on the steering wheel is no longer accurate—but I mean, this was the 90’s. Drive safe, everyone. 

  
Shawn's POV:

This is torture. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't even focus enough to study for the stupid driver's test that I so badly need to pass. This is getting out of hand. Maybe I should call her? No, I doubt she would talk to me by now. Poor Veronica. I did this to her. Now she's suffering the consequences of my actions, well mostly my actions. I can't believe it...Our lives could change forever from just one moment when we let ourselves go. Scary.

*Turner's apartment-Saturday*

"Hey, Shawn, how's the studying for that driver's test been going?" John asked, as they were in the living room, sorting laundry.

"It's not been going, John."

"Why's that?"

Shawn paused to think. "John?"

"Yes, my boy?"

"Should I call Veronica?"

"Well, if you want to I guess. It's your choice."

"Well, yeah, but should I?"

"If it's bothering you so much, then I'd suggest you call her and get it over with. It has been three weeks. These kinds of things usually take at least three weeks to get accurate results."

"Wow, you're so wise about this stuff."

"I've been around the block a couple times, kid."

Shawn was about to get up, but he hesitated. He slapped his knees in defiance. "No...Ya know what? She can call me. If she wants me to know, she'll call ME."

"Okay then. It's up to you." They sat in silence for a little while, finishing up the laundry.

Shawn couldn't hold it in. He had to break the silence. "John, I'm DYING here."

John set the pair of Levi's down that he was folding and looked intently at Shawn. "Tell ya what we're gonna do. Give me that driver's manual. You and I are gonna study that thing till our eyes bleed."

"Really? You'll help me?"

"Yeah, of course." John smiled enthusiastically as Shawn jumped up from the couch to retrieve the manual. Shawn then sat down next to John and handed him the book.

Shawn stared glossy-eyed at the manual as John held it up. "Okay, so, where do we start?" Shawn asked. 

"From the beginning." 

"Well, duh, I could've thought of that."

"Sure, but ya didn't...Okay, here we go..." John did a side-glance at Shawn and decided instead to sit across from him on the coffee table, so he couldn't cheat. "Who has the right of way at a four way stop?"

"I dunno...The guy who got there first?"

"BINGO. Hey, you're good at this. Common sense, right? If only you exhibited that on a daily basis. Then we'd really be rockin'." John chuckled to himself.

"Hey!"

"Easy, it was just a joke! Okay...Here's a tougher one. Where do you place your hands on the steering wheel?"

"Does it matter? My dad used to say, 'As long as you have a body part turning the wheel, then who cares.'"

"Oh, good old Chet...Alright, I'll tell ya what the book says. This is what you'll need to know for the test: 10 and 2, got it?"

"Yeah, okay...10 and 2."

"You're getting this! Great...Here's a good one to know for teenagers such as yourself...What is the legal drinking age for minors?"

"...Is this a trick question?"

"No."

"Then it's 21, unless you look 21, then it's okay."

"WRONG. 21, only. Don't get smart with me now. Your car is on the line. You gotta take this stuff VERY seriously, Shawn."

"Yeah, I know, I was just joking!"

"Alright, n-"

*Brrrrrring Brrrrrrring*

Shawn sat petrified and unmoving, staring blankly at John.

"Are you gonna get it?" John asked.

Shawn gulped. "I guess I should." Robotically, Shawn got up from the couch and slowly gravitated toward the phone.

"Shawn, the phone doesn't ring all day. Hurry."

Shawn picked up the phone and put it to his ear. For the first few seconds of the call, he didn't say a word. He only listened.

"Hello? Is this Shawn? I hear weird breathing on the line."

Shawn broke his fearful trance with a "Hi."

"Oh, hey Shawn. Listen, I was really angry at you for a while, thinking that you dumped me because I was a bad kisser or something...but now I get it...You were just scared that you could have gotten me pregnant. Here's the thing..."

Shawn gripped the phone as tight as he could. His knees grew weak, so he had to lean against the wall to keep from falling. "Y-yes?"

"I'm NOT pregnant, so you don't have to worry. I made sure too because I took multiple tests with my mom's help. Shawn? You there? You can breathe now."

Shawn let out a large puff of air. "My life almost flashed before my eyes...I realize it has been kind of a crappy life so far...Ha. Come again?"

"Shawn, snap out of it. You are NOT going to be a father, not yet anyway, so you can chill."

"Whew, okay, you cannot imagine how relieved I am right now to hear you say that. Thank God. We do not need that kind of baggage right now."

Veronica chuckled. "Yeah, we sure don't...so, I was thinking...Can we get back together?"

"Well, yeah, sure, why not. I'll just be more careful next time, is all."

"You want there to be a next time after the last time, Shawn?"

"Yeah, I want you to be my every time, V."

"Awe, you are the sweetest, ya know that, Shawn? You stole my heart."

Shawn giggled. "Ditto. I'm glad we worked this out."

"Yeah, me too. See you later, Shawn."

"Okay, bye." Shawn put the phone down and breathed a huge sigh of relief. He looked up at the ceiling as if to say a thank you to Heaven for watching out for him.

John stared expectantly at Shawn. "So, the verdict?" 

"Survey says NO COMPRENDE PREGNANCY." Shawn jumped up and down excitedly.

John laughed. "I'm glad to hear that, Shawn! I knew it'd work out. You better keep it in your pants from now on, though."

"Hey, what happened to it being MY choice? Huh? It is my body."

"Dude, do you think you've really proven to me lately that I can trust you to make rational choices?"

"Well...maybe."

"No, the answer is no to that one, Shawn...Well, ultimately, I can't stop you from making your own choices either. So, yes, it is your choice, but I have the authority as your parent to give your choices consequences if need be. Just remember that."

"Is that some kind of threat that I should be scared of?"

"Nope. It's a promise, so stay out of trouble, and keep it in your pants please... 'caus next time, I won't be so nice about it. You're only 16. Keep it PG for now. Just have good, clean fun while dating. Don't be all serious."

"Okay, fine...Whatever you say." Shawn sighed and stared at the ground for a second in thought. John stared at him, questioning whether he was really going to take this matter seriously and listen to him for once.


	11. Ch. 3/P. 3: Driver's Permit. Finally Free!

*Turner's apartment*

"Congrats, Shawn! I knew you could pass that written part! You ready to practice driving?" John asked.

"Of course I am! This is, like, the greatest day of my LIFE!" Shawn frantically looked around for the keys to his truck. "Um...John? Where's the keys?"

John held up the keys and dangled them in front of Shawn. Shawn reached for them, but he pulled them away at the last second. Shawn groaned. "Nuh uh, Shawn, not so fast..."

"Why not? Just give them to me!" Shawn tried to reach for the keys again, but John held them up higher.

"Tell me my rules for operating that truck of yours again."

"Ugh. Fine...No speeding. No drinking. No one-on-one dates. No loud music. Does that about sum it up for you?"

"Thanks, it sure does. Okay, here." John plopped the keys into Shawn's hand. Shawn clutched them in his fist and kissed them.

"So this is what freedom feels like. I like this. I could get used to this."

"Shawn, you have to pass the driving portion of the test first. Before then, that means you get to only drive with someone 18 or older, preferably myself."

"Yeah, yeah, I know...Can we go practice now?"

"Eh, I don't see why not. Sure. Let me just go grab my helmet."

"Your helmet?"

"Ya never know." John chuckled to himself. "I've never had to teach a teenager to drive before. I'm actually kinda scared."

"Oh, I'll be the best driver there ever was."

"I'm glad you're so confident, but don't be too confident. You haven't even practiced where your hands would go yet."

Shawn grabbed the helmet out of John's hand and made a running start out the door. "Race you there!"

"Oh, no you don't!" John raced after him. As they plodded down the stairs, Shawn smacked heads with Cory.

"Ow! What the- Oh, it's you, Cory! What are you doing here?"

"I was just in the area, and I thought I'd drop by. I guess I came at a bad time, huh?"

"No, you didn't. It's the perfect time actually...I passed the written portion, so now I get to practice behind the wheel! You should come watch!" Shawn patted his best friend's back and looked expectantly at John.

"Okay, Cory, you can tag along, but don't be distracting. This is Shawn's first time driving."

"Well, this is perfect 'caus I just got my license! I can teach him everything I know." Cory gleamed with pride.

"OR you could just watch." John said with a sarcastic grin.

"Okay, fine. I'll watch. Shawn, you're gonna ace this," Cory said enthusiastically.

"You bet I AM. SHOTGUN!" Shawn raced down the rest of the stairs and ran as fast as he could to the truck while the others tried to catch up. He patted the hood. "Hey, baby, you're MINE now. What should I call you? Oh, VERONICA. YES. Good GIRL, Veronica!"

"Veronica? Isn't that a bit weird since she's also your girlfriend?" John questioned.

"Don't you know, Mr. Turner? That's the classic car name. You ALWAYS name your car after your girl," Cory explained. "It's the guy code for cars."

"So, your car's name is Topanga, then? Kinda strange, don't you think?"

"It would be a great name if I actually had a car for myself. Shawn is lucky."

"Well, alright, you two, let's have some fun! Cory, sit in the back please. I want to be able to get full access to Shawn."

"Yeah, okay," Cory said.

"But my buddy should be up front with me!" Shawn whined.

"Nope, not until after you get that license. No arguing."

Shawn sulked but gave in. Then they all entered the vehicle. His eyes lit up as he saw the interior. "JOHN, YOU DIDN'T. THIS. IS. AMAZING. Seat covers? Oh! Even the little smelly tree thing! Thanks, man." Shawn grabbed the tree and gave it a good whiff.

"Of course. I wanted to do something to say how proud I am of you," John stated. "Alright, Shawn, what's the first thing you do when you enter a vehicle?"

"Um...turn on the vehicle?" Shawn asked.

"No, Shawn, c'mon, seatbelt!" Cory interjected.

Shawn sent him a look of betrayal. "Yeah, I knew that, okay?"

"Matthews, zip that lip. He's gotta focus now," John warned, pointing at Cory through the windshield mirror. "Alright, Shawn, take a deep breath. You can do this...Put the key in the ignition."

Shawn obeyed, turning the key. "Okay, now what?"

"It's my job to ask the questions. You know this. I drilled all of this into you."

Shawn hesitated, staring at the gears. He breathed out. "Okay, we're in Park, and we need to be in Drive." He grabbed a hold of the gear shift.

"HOLD IT."

Shawn jumped and let go of the stick. "WHAT?"

"Remember, Drive makes you go FORWARD. Do you want to hit that tree in front of us? You'll have to look behind you and slowly back up with the Reverse."

"YOU GOT THIS, SHAWNEE," Cory exclaimed, making the front row startle.

"MATTHEWS. LAST WARNING," John said, looking behind him. Cory shrunk back timidly.

"Okay. Whew. I got this." Shawn shifted the gear stick to Reverse, and the car started rolling on its own. "WAIT. WAIT. What do I do? It's going on its own!" He started to hyperventilate.

"Shawn, it's okay. Just press your foot on the break," John explained.

Shawn complied. When he placed his foot on the break, it made the car jerk, which in turn made John's head suffer the consequences on the dashboard. "I knew my helmet would come in handy." He laughed. "KID, LIGHTLY put your foot on the break...Wow, we haven't even moved yet...Okay, we can do this. Now, ever so SLIGHTLY take your foot back off the break, just enough to let the car move."

"Sure, sure," Shawn said nervously. As soon as he got out of the tight spot in the alleyway, he was able to put the truck back into Drive and feel a bit more relaxed. "I'm doing it!"

"Yes, you are, Shawn, yes you are," John said with a look of satisfaction on his face. He felt like maybe this would be pretty close to a dad teaching his little kid how to ride their bicycle without training wheels for the first time. He smiled pondering it. "Okay, I want you to turn here. Be sure to put your blinker on."

Shawn did as he was told and gently glided around the curb. When he got to the main road, his confidence grew even more. "Yep, this is pretty easy."

"Don't get cocky now, but you are doing pretty well," John said.

They drove around for the duration of the afternoon and even into the evening. "So...does this mean I can get my license?" Shawn asked.

"I'd give it a bit more time, but yeah, I'd say you're solid," John said with a smile. "Hey, before we go home, wanna try your hand at the drive through? I'm gettin' hungry."

"Yeah, lets!"

**~Sorry, this chapter was a bit shorter than planned, but I'm revving up for the doozy of the next chapter! Happy reading!**


	12. Ch. 3/P. 4: The Biggest Mistake of My Life. Round 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: some elements in this chapter may be construed as abuse...in my childhood, this was considered discipline, not abuse. I’m not saying I condone this, but just wanted to clarify. This is simply a catharsis for me. Reader discretion is advised!

Shawn's POV:

So, after a few more weeks of non-stop practice, I got to take my driver's test, and I ACED IT! I guess all it took was some patience...Huh, I should try my hand at that patience thing more often. Anyway, now that I have my license, that means I can basically go anywhere. I've been driving myself to school and going on LOTS of dates. It's been so great not having John breathing down my neck all the time, or I guess me breathing on HIS neck while riding on the back of his motorbike. The only place other than school that he would drive me was CRAZY.

  
*Turner's Apartment-Friday*

Shawn tapped John on the shoulder while he was making supper. "Hey, since it's technically the weekend, and I have my license now, could Cory and I go on a road trip?"

John paused in thought. "Sure, why not, but can I come too? Oh! What if we went camping instead? You have a sturdy truck that could fit everything we need I bet! Carrying on the family tradition..."

"Whoa, whoa...Hold your horses. I was kind of hoping for it to be a best friend thing."

"What? Am I not your friend?"

Shawn paused to think how he could phrase his rejection more tactfully. He couldn't think of a nice way to do it, so he just gave in. "Fine, we can go on a camping trip, but only if you pay for the camping gear."

"I'll do you one better. I'll even pay for your gas!"

"Awe, thanks, man! This is gonna be sweet! I'm gonna go call Cory then." Shawn ran up the stairs, almost tripping because he was so excited. He picked up the phone and dialed Cory's number. "Hey, Cor?"

"Yeah, Shawn?"

"You know how I said we should go on a road trip as soon as I got my license?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, how about we go camping instead?"

"Sure, I mean, I absolutely suck at camping, and I HATE peeing in the woods, but it's your celebration."

"Thanks, man. Hey, what if I brought Veronica too? Do you think she'd like camping?"

"I don't know, Shawn. Do you think your dad's gonna let you bring your girlfriend, especially after what happened?"

"Eh, you're probably right. Maybe I shouldn't...Or maybe I could sneak her in with the gear somehow! Yeah!"

"Shawn, you can be so stupid sometimes, you know that?"

"Oh, c'mon, help me live a little! It's VERONICA WATSON, for crying out loud."

"It's your loss if you get caught, Shawn...How in the world would we even hide her?"

"John got this thing where it covers the back of the truck. If I had Veronica lie down toward the very back of it, then place the gear in front of her, she would never be spotted. She's tiny. She'd totally fit."

"Okay, sure, whatever, man."

"So, you'll help me?"

"No, but I would never snitch if you did it. I promise."

"You're a good friend, Cor. Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get this over with."

"Okay, be at my place around 4am tomorrow. We can start 'packing' before John's up."

"Sure. See ya then."

*click*

 _Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...I can't believe this is happening. Another chance to redeem myself with Veronica._ Shawn did a little jitterbug dance, then began to dial Veronica's number.

"Veronica?"

"Oh, hey. How is my Shaaaaawn today?" She said with flirtatious emphasis.

"Oh, I am doing fine, especially getting to hear your voice...So, hey, I was wondering...I guess it's a little weird to ask, but would you want to tag along with me on a camping trip?"

"Yeah, that'd be fun! That's not at all weird, Shawn."

"Well, HOW we are camping is gonna be slightly weird...John's gonna be there, as well as Cory, and I want to sneak you in with the gear."

"But why? Why not just tell John that you want me to come with too?"

"Remember our slip up with the condom? That's why. I would be DEAD if I was caught with you alone again. John seemed pretty serious about that threat."

"Oh, Mr. Turner is super cool. I doubt he would do anything more than scold you."

"I'm not so sure, V...He's not as cool as you may think. Would you do this for me? Please? I would LOVE it if you came. I'll make sure we even get our own tent."

"Oh, Shawn, you tease."

"No, no teasing here. I'm serious. The night would be perfect. I'll make sure to bring extra protection this time." Shawn giggled at the thought. "Things should go right as planned if you come a little early. How does 4am sound, tomorrow?"

"4 in the MORNING? Wow, THAT early?"

"That's how early it'll have to be if you want to remain hidden. John is an early riser."

There was silence over the phone for a few seconds. Veronica sighed. "Okay, Shawn, if it means we get to have a perfect night."

"Oh, we WILL have a perfect night. You can bet on that."

.......................................................................................................................

Shawn snuck out bright and early to meet both Cory and Veronica by his truck.

"Alright, you two, this is how we're gonna do it." Shawn said, addressing Cory and V. "Veronica, you'll lay all the way toward the back near the cab of the truck. Then, we'll stack the camping gear and such in front of you. I'll be sure to put some of the less essential stuff near you, so there's less of a chance of you being seen. You think you'll be okay waiting for a few hours in there?"

Veronica took a long look at the back of the truck and smirked. "If you give me something to lay on. There's no way I'm laying for hours on that uncomfortable metal."

"Fair...I'll put a couple floaties under you, good?"

"Yeah, that should be fine."

"Okay, here's some water just in case." Shawn handed her a bottle of water, then gestured toward the back of the truck. "M'lady." He grabbed Veronica's hand and helped her up, then rubbed his hands together with anticipation. "This JUST might work!!!"

Cory glanced at Veronica in the back of the truck, then at Shawn and shook his head. "I can't believe I'm helping you go through with this. This is a terrible idea."

"Psh...It'll be fine. Since when has an idea of mine backfired? Huh?"

"Like, everyday, Shawn. Every. Single. Day."

Shawn waved him off, then blew his girlfriend a kiss. "I'll be back, okay? Sit tight, gorgeous. We're gonna start piling stuff in now."

"Hey, Shawn? Cory? Getting an early start on packing?" John had gotten up earlier than Shawn thought.

Shawn and Cory, to avoid getting caught, sat on the tail end of the truck and blocked the sight of Veronica. "Um...well, yeah."

"Strange, it usually takes a bulldozer to wake YOU up in the morning. You must be very excited!"

"Yeah, we both are," Cory said nervously. Shawn nudged his side to make him act normal.

"So, uh, John, why don't you go make us some breakfast for the road? Me and Cory got the packing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, totally sure."

"Alright then," John said with a smile. "I'll be back in a few." He walked on back into the apartment with a pep in his step.

Shawn and Cory exchanged panicked glances. "Whew. That was a close one...Okay, let's hurry and start shoving stuff in."

"Good thinking."

The car ride to their destination was long enough for Shawn to start worrying about Veronica. I hope she's okay...Oh, great, she's gonna have to wait until it gets dark to leave that spot. Sh*t. I wasn't thinking. Why is Cory always right?

"You okay, Shawn? You're looking kind of pale. You want me to drive?" John asked.

Shawn shook his head. "No, I'm good. We're almost there, right?"

"Yeah, you see that spec over there?"

Shawn squinted to see something on the horizon. "Oh, THAT spec. How far away do you think that is?"

"Eh, give or take, a mile or two away. We're almost there."

_Good...I'm so glad Veronica likes me enough to do this to her..._

When they arrived at the campsite, John began to unpack the back of the truck right away.

"Here, let me and Cory get that for you." Shawn said, blocking John's way to the truck.

"It's fine, Shawn. I've got it. You packed it. I can unpack it. I wanna be fair."

"No, John, it's okay. We got it, seriously." Shawn forced one of the bags out from John's grip.

John lifted his hands in surrender. "Fine, I'm not THAT old and decrepit yet, but have at her. I guess I'll go find a spot to settle in."

Cory and Shawn began to unpack the truck as John walked off. They got quite a bit of the way through, but then John came back. "Here, just let me help you, guys. These tents are really heavy." Shawn stood like a statue with his mouth open in shock, pleading to God that John wouldn't glance down a few inches to see Veronica's slim figure in the truck. He didn't, thankfully, but something impossibly worse occurred. Shawn and Cory cringed as they saw John whip "it" out in front of them and start peeing on the ground. Shawn was absolutely mortified that Veronica saw John urinating. _Wow...This has gotta be so FREAKING awkward for her. I really hope she thinks I'm worth all this torture._

Shawn, hoping to fix the issue, stood right in front of Veronica's line of sight. He tried to look away from the horror he had just witnessed, but he was too struck with panic.

"What? Ain't you ever saw another guy pee before? Quit looking, you weirdos," John said.

Immediately, Cory and Shawn averted their eyes and felt their faces grow hot. "Okay, man, are you done yet? Here, go pitch us the tents or something." Shawn handed John the tents.

"Alright, I will." John observed the two teens for a minute, giving them a suspicious look. "I'm watching you. No games now." John left to go find a sheltered spot to pitch the tents. As soon as he left, the two boys let out all of the air they were holding in.

"Wow, that was so close," Cory said.

"Yeah, TOO close." Shawn countered. "You okay, babe?" He reached in to hold Veronica's hand.

"I'm as good as a person CAN be who has just had to curl up in one claustrophobic spot for hours, then watch my teacher pee right in front of me. I'm surprised I'm not dead. Thanks for asking."

Shawn cringed again. "Yeah, sorry about that...Hey, John is gone for a bit. Why don't you come out and stretch your legs?"

"Well, now I gotta pee."

Shawn's eyes lit up with excitement. "You know how to pee in the woods? I can teach you how it's done."

Veronica wrinkled her nose, greatly weirded out by Shawn's offer. "Nope. I think I'm good, Shawn. Thanks for asking though." Veronica grunted as she army-crawled her way out of the truck. "Shawn, you really know how to give a girl a good time." She rolled her eyes as she scurried off behind a bush to pee.

Cory and Shawn couldn't help themselves. They stayed put, pretending to be occupied with something else.

"BOYS, not cool. Go away!" Veronica yelled.

"Sshh...John might hear you. Okay, we'll go help him with the tent, but when you've finished your business, be sure to hide back in the truck, K? I'll come get you when it's dark."

"Yeah, okay." Veronica rolled her eyes at them as they darted off.

.........................................................................................................................

"Psst...Veronica, I'm back! You there? Everyone's asleep. It'll just be me, you, and the stars above, baby." Shawn opened the back of the truck and reached for Veronica's leg.

The leg grab made her squeal. "Shawn, I was sleeping! You scared me," she said, giggling.

Shawn couldn't help but laugh, even though he was gripped by extreme apprehension. "I'm sorry, K? But you gotta try to be quiet. Here, let's go." He grabbed her hand and helped her out of the truck. "I wish I could see your face and look into your pretty eyes. It's just too dark. I guess I'll just have to feel you then," Shawn said coyly.

Shawn smiled with satisfaction as he gave Veronica a long, smothering kiss. She hummed with contentment. He then led her to his personal tent and slowly zipped it shut. They laid in his one-person sleeping bag, but neither of them minded at all. It meant they could lay that much closer and hear each other's heartbeats and soft breathing. He tapped his fingers on her arm to the beat of her heart and whispered in her ear. "This is great, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. It's so much more exciting when you're trying not to get caught." Veronica gave Shawn a quick nibble on the neck, making him squirm with exhilaration.

"Oh...That was nice...So, are you ready then? I brought the...ya know...stuff."

"I'm totally ready."

Shawn smiled as he rushed to unwrap the condom. "You wanna put it on?"

"Of course I do," she said wryly.

As soon as they began their arousing rendezvous, Veronica heard a rustling in the bushes near their tent. She gasped. "What was that?"

Shawn was too "in the zone" to notice. "Oh, I'm sure it was nothing. Just the wind." He tried to continue again, but she made him stop.

"I don't think so, Shawn," she whispered.

The rustling grew louder, then turned into a low growling. They hid inside the sleeping bag and held each other close. Shawn peaked one eye out. "I see a strange light," he whispered. "What kind of animal would have a light?" Before any more words were exchanged, the tent zipped open, and John leaped inside, letting out a loud roar. He began to laugh. "GOT YA! Wow, Shawn, your face is priceless...Oh..." Shawn and Veronica just stared at John as they laid there in a paralyzed state of fear, and John just stared back.

"Oh, sh*t," Shawn yelled.

"OH SH*T IS RIGHT."

"It's...not what it looks like."

"JUST...DON'T, okay?" John glared at the two of them with hands on his hips, then shook his head. "I can't believe you. Get dressed, both of you. I'll be right outside this tent. Then, I expect a carefully crafted explanation as to why you went behind my back...AGAIN." He stomped out of the tent, steaming mad. Cory heard John's fuming and rushed outside to see what the matter was.

He crept up behind John. "Um...Mr. Turner? Are you alright?"

John turned around, staring at him but remained scarily silent for a minute. "You knew about this, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?" He grabbed Cory's shirt and pierced him with his eyes.

He began to stammer. "I-I...Um..."

"YES OR NO, MATTHEWS?"

Cory paused. "Yes...I knew." Tears welled in his eyes as John let go of him.

"I can't believe you. I thought you were Shawn's best friend, his role model. After this, you'd be lucky if I even let you see him again...Go back in your tent. I'll deal with you later."

"Yes sir..." Cory scurried back in his tent, too scared to even breathe.

"SHAWN, are you done in there?" John was growing very impatient.

"Yeah, yeah, we're coming." Shawn and Veronica were trying to be as slow as they could to prevent having to face the wrath of John.

Shawn's POV: I've never seen John like this before, never. He is so scary right now. I mean, yeah, we messed up, again. I get that, but wow, I wasn't expecting John to blow up like THIS. He's usually pretty patient. I guess I really crossed the line with this one.

"SHAWN. HURRY YOUR BUTT UP."

"Okay..." Shawn gave Veronica one last squeeze. They exchanged desperate looks and sighed. "Alright, let's get this over with," he whispered. Taking V's hand, they stepped out of the tent, ready for punches to fly.

John was towering over the two, preparing to blow. "I so badly want to beat you in front of your girl right now."

"I know...I-I'm sorry."

"Don't give me that. If you were sorry last time, there wouldn't be a THIS time, Shawn...Veronica, tell me, was this at least consensual?"

"What does that mean?"

"You volunteered to come here?"

"...Yes..."

"Alright. At least you have that going for you..." John began to pace, thinking on what to do next. "Veronica, do your parents even know that you're here with us?"

"No..."

"Well, I'm gonna have to call your parents. I hope you know that."

"I know."

"Good..." An eerie silence stood between the three of them. "Veronica, I'm done with you for now. Go...back in the tent. Shawn's gonna sleep with me tonight." John's gaze fell back onto Shawn. "Now, as for you." All his anger built up into one piercing glare, shooting into Shawn's skull like a bullet. "You and I are gonna go for a walk."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now." John walked behind Shawn, pushing him to get going faster.

"Um...Where are we going?"

"I'd suggest you not talk right now, kid. I'll steer you, and you'll know when we're there." Shawn went stiff as a board as his dad pushed him to keep wandering in the dark with nothing but a flashlight. He could feel a growing pressure in his throat, almost like guilt but with a mixture of intense fear. "Okay, stop." They stopped in front of a crooked, old tree in the middle of nowhere. John then turned Shawn around toward himself and shined the flashlight in his face.

He began his interrogation. "Why do I have to keep repeating myself over and over to you? Is your skull that thick? Have I taught you ANYTHING? Are my lectures not getting through to you? Do I have to take some further action here?"

"I-"

"No. Don't speak...I'm not finished. I'm just gettin' started...Where's your respect, man? You got any for me? Or at least for yourself? How about for your girl?"

"I-"

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN. Shawn, I've TRIED and TRIED with you, but you just don't seem to take the hint...." John put his hands on his hips and went silent for a minute. The silence was then broken by the sound of something jostling, like the clink of metal on metal.

"W-what are you gonna do, John?"

"Well, what do you THINK I should do? Huh? What did I warn would happen?"

"Basically that I wouldn't like you very much if I did this again..."

"Right, I did say that...Well, I'm a man of my word." John turned Shawn around to face the tree. "I want you to put your hands on that tree."

"Why?"

"I think you know why...C'mon. Hurry up or I'll make this much worse for you. I'm not playin'."

Shawn hesitated, considering his options. _How much worse could it get?_ Instead of listening, he decided to make a run for it. He didn't get far because it was dark, and he tripped on a stray branch. He spit out a face-full of dirt. The next thing he knew, he could feel John pull him up onto his feet and steer him back to the dreaded tree. "C'mon, feet apart, hands on the tree. I won't say it again."

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, JOHN?" Shawn yelled desperately.

"You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna do what I should've done a long time ago with you, something my dad did to me when I messed up this big. It made an impression. I hope this makes you think twice next time and makes you understand the weight of your choices."

"C'mon, John, we didn't do anything."

"That's not what I was hearing from your tent."

The next thing Shawn knew was a sharp sting on his thighs, then another, but this time on his butt, making him yell out in pain. "JOHN, STOP. I'm sorry!" He tried to run again, but John was too quick. John then found a stump to sit on, and he pulled Shawn over his lap.

"How many more?" Shawn asked nervously.

"How many will make you learn? How many will make you regret your decisions?" He began again, blow after blow of his belt onto Shawn's already sensitive backside. Shawn soon began to feel a constant throbbing, almost a burning, like he was on fire. Then, he felt a breeze on his lower half, sending a frozen shiver up his spine. "Um...John, what are you doing?

"It's called a bare-bottom spanking. It's reserved for moments like these."

"P-please stop." He was trying so hard not to show how much it hurt. He swallowed to keep the rising sobs at bay.

"A few more, bud. You gotta learn...I'm sorry." Shawn felt something different land on his skin this time. It was hard and not as thin as the belt, but it still hurt extremely bad. "This is just my hairbrush I brought with me. Doesn't feel good, huh?"

"No...I'm sorry..."

"I know," John said, letting his arm fly on its own.

Shawn stopped trying to fight the pain. He let himself go limp across John's lap as the hairbrush kept raining down on his poor butt. He began to break, to let out every tear he had inside him. He didn't care that Cory and Veronica, and maybe even some squirrels, could hear him cry. Nothing seemed to matter in comparison with the non-stop, intense pain. He NEEDED it to stop.

"Ple-he-heeease," Shawn cried. "I'll be good, I swear!"

John stopped for a moment and rubbed Shawn's back. This confused him. He wasn't sure what was going to happen next. He began to feel calm, almost comforted by the break John gave him. "A-are you done?"

Silence was John's only response.

"John, ARE YOU DONE?"

A nervous tension rose inside of Shawn, making him feel like the answer was a terrible and definite 'no.'

He was right. As soon as he had finished his question, he could feel another smack on his backside, this time knowing full well it was John's hand. It felt so awkward. A grown man's bare hand on a teen boy's bare butt. It was so embarrassing. _At least it's dark, so no one can see,_ he thought. Shawn quit guessing how long it had been since the spanking had started. It definitely felt longer than five minutes. It maybe wasn't as long as fifteen though.

The only things heard in that dark wood were the sounds of the repeated cracks from John's hand and soft whimpers from Shawn. When the sound of the cracking had finally stopped, to Shawn's surprise, the pain still remained with a vengeance. He could even feel the exact spot where John's hand landed last.

John pulled Shawn's pants back up and helped him stand. His pants felt like a bed of needles on his raw skin. He nearly fell over from the shock of being upright again, but John held him steady.

It was so strange. Shawn thought he would be angry and stomp off and maybe even hold a grudge against John for at least a week, but he didn't. The only thing he could feel was the pain, then, shocking Shawn out of his trance, John pulled him into a hug. John's arms trembled rhythmically, vibrating with each of his own sobs. "I love you, Shawn. I'm so sorry I had to do that. I didn't know what else to do." It surprised Shawn that the one who caused the pain was also balling his eyes out.

"John, why are YOU crying?"

"Do you think I wanted to do that? No. I don't want you in pain, but I'd rather you feel this temporary pain than the pain of lifelong mistakes. Kid, I care about you. I would jump in front of a train for you. I really mean that." John pulled him into another long hug. "NEVER forget who you are. You are mine now, and I want you to start acting like it."

"Okay, I'll try." Shawn couldn't help but soak up the comfort from John's strong arms. Not understanding why, he hugged John back as they both cried it out. 


	13. Ch. 4/P. 1: Revenge, the Sweetest Kind

"Hey, Cor, guess what, guess what, guess what?!" Shawn pranced around excitedly, forgetting that they were in the middle of Chubbie's.

"What? What is it?"

"This might be a strange thing to be excited about, but it's John's birthday tomorrow. I'm gonna pay him back for all the times he's pulled a fast one on me and you, my friend, are gonna help me."

Cory retreated. "Um...Shawn, like every time I help you with one of your master plans, they get foiled miserably. C'mon, dude, I thought you'd have learned this by now."

"No, this is different. It's just gonna be some light-hearted pranks. Nothing major."

Shawn and Cory brought their milkshakes and burgers to a corner booth and sat down at their usual spots.

Cory cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly. "How has John's mood been lately since, ya know, the camping incident? That'll be my gauge as to whether I should get involved."

Shawn scoffed. "Lighten up, will ya? I was the one who got the short end of the stick that day, literally, and you got away with just a scolding, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a scolding from TURNER. He's so intimidating. Trust me, I was suffering the consequences of our little adventure for weeks after that. I'm pretty sure he hates my guts now."

"Oh, stop it, Cory. He doesn't hate you."

"Oh yeah? He basically told me he'd forbid me from seeing you anymore. I've been trying to avoid him ever since."

"Oh, so that's why you haven't come by our place lately...Dude, he was just upset. It didn't mean a thing. I'm serious. If he hated you, he'd probably find a way to make you transfer to another teacher or embarrass you more in class. Besides, he hasn't said a thing to me. Anyway, you in?"

Cory hesitated in thought. "It depends. Give me the lowdown on what EXACTLY we will do to him, and you have to let me back out at anytime, or it's no deal."

"No. No tag backs. It's go big or go home, man. That's how these things work."

"Fine then. I'm out." Cory began to get up, but Shawn yanked him back down by the sleeve of his sweater.

"C'mon, Cor, please?" Shawn begged. "It's very special to me. It'll be the first time I've gotten to surprise John."

"Well, if you want to just surprise him, why don't you drop hints that you're gonna prank him, but then don't? That'd be quite the surprise, Shawn. He would never see it coming."

Shawn scoffed. "You're no fun. I was only planning to do a few of the classic blunders. Ya know, stuff he's done to me, but amped up. He'll find it hysterical. He's a good sport."

"You sure he won't get mad and retaliate?"

"I didn't say he wouldn't retaliate, but that's all part of the fun! It'd be an all-out war. It'd be crazy, but so much fun!"

"How are you and I even friends?" Cory teased. "You like dangerous, lively things. I just want to go watch a Phyllie's game on TV."

Shawn gave Cory his best puppy eyes. "Pretty please? With a cherry on top? I promise it'll be worth it. It'll get you on John's good side for sure."

"Yeah, whatever. I can never say no to you. You should know that by now."

"Yay! Okay, meet me at my uncle's shop. We're gonna give John's bike a nice wax, make it look good as new." Shawn gave a sly smile.

Cory narrowed his eyes at Shawn suspiciously. "You better be right about this, Shawn. I can't afford to get in trouble anytime soon. I just got my car back."

"Yes, I know. There, there, little Cory. Shawnie will take good care of you." Shawn patted Cory's head jokingly as he started out the door, ready to make his dreams reality. "Just you wait." 

~Sorry, a bit of a shorter chapter! Happy reading! BMW/GMW for life <3


	14. Ch. 4/P. 2: Didn't Know What Hit Him

Shawn's POV:

This day is gonna be fantastic. It's finally John's birthday. I've been planning this for a while now. Already this morning, I made sure John would be caught completely unaware. Instead of having the alarm clock get him up as usual, I decided to get creative with some good old fashioned whipped cream and a feather. Let's just say John didn't find it very funny. Sure, he's a morning person, but everyone has lines you just don't cross.

"Ahhh! What the-" John jolted up out of bed as he scooped the gobs of whipped cream from his nose. Shawn hiccuped with laughter, trying to catch his breath.

"Oh, THAT was funny," he said, holding his stomach.

John scowled at him for a minute. "Come here." John gestured for Shawn to come closer, but he didn't budge. "Oh, it's all fun and games, right? I just wanna play too." John launched himself toward Shawn, smearing the whipped cream all over his hair and face. 

Shawn began to gag. "Gross! That was on your face!"

"Yeah, and now it's on yours! So there." John grabbed a towel from his bathroom and dabbed his own face, then handed it to Shawn. "Happy birthday to me, huh?"

"Yeah." Shawn snickered at his own cleverness.

"What'd you get me then?"

"I got plans. Just you wait." Shawn grinned wide. "I would never forget to celebrate your birthday, since this is like, your thing."

"How thoughtful."

They exchanged knowing glances. "Sorry in advance, but I'm no cook, so I just put some pop tarts in the toaster. Hope you don't mind."

"What kind are they? Nothing mayo-filled, I hope?"

"Chocolate chip of course. I'm not evil." 

"Good, good. Well then, I look forward to what you have planned there, Shawn."

"Yeah, me too."

When the pair had finished breakfast and were ready to head out the door, Shawn decided to take his car instead of John's bike.

"Hey, you don't wanna save on gas and ride with me today?"

"No, I'm alright." Shawn rushed into the driver's seat of his car and secured the locks. He stared at John as he hopped on his bike, anticipating an explosive reaction. To Shawn's surprise, and slight disappointment, John just felt the handlebars with the glue and shrugged. He sent Shawn a "not bad" face, indicating the prank needed a little work. Shawn sighed, pitying himself. "I guess I gotta up my game. I hope Cory is ready."

Shawn leapt inside the school, hoping to find Cory readily available to carry out his plan. Instead, he found rows and rows of lockers with photos of John plastered all over them. At the end of the long hallway, he finally spotted his friend Cory with a few copies in hand. He ran down the hall to meet with him. "Hey, Cor! Good job. Now I just gotta take a Sharpie to them." He held up his black marker. "What do you think? Eyebrows and stash or just dorky glasses and zits?"

"Why not go big or go home, right? Isn't that your motto?"

"You got a point. Here, it'll go faster if you help me." Shawn handed Cory another marker to vandalize his dad's face.

Topanga entered the school, bright and cheerful as ever. "Hey, guys, what are you up to?"

"Oh, ya know, hangin' around like usual." Shawn said as they tried to hide their paraphernalia.

"I'm not a dummy. I know it's John's birthday. Cory told me all about it."

Shawn punched Cory in the arm. "You told her? This was supposed to be our secret, just for John."

"What was I supposed to do? Topanga's my girlfriend, for Pete's Sake."

Shawn groaned. "Fine, but Topanga, PLEASE, for all our sakes, just...leave well enough alone, K?"

"Well, I sure feel welcome." Topanga turned up her nose and scooted away to the classroom, leaving the two to their own devices.

"Okay, let's hurry 'caus I still gotta prepare John's classroom. I just saw him enter the bathroom, so let's speed this up."

"Wait...What are you gonna do to his classroom?"

"I'm not some miracle worker, Cory. I'm just gonna tweak a few things." Shawn put his finger up to his lips as he secretly showed Cory some chocolate pudding.

"Alright then. Hey, why don't you go do that while I finish up here."

"Awe, thanks pal. You're the best." He then scurried off to Jonathan's classroom to work his magic. Getting into the classroom, he realized that Topanga was already there. In an effort to not blow his cover further, he decided to try army-crawling toward John's desk. Taking a plastic spoon from his pocket, he piled an entire cup of chocolate putting onto the desk chair. _Yep. That should do it. The look on his face is gonna be priceless._

"What in the world? Shawn? Get off the ground. Did you lose something?" John asked, entering the classroom.

"Yeah, but I found it."

"What is it?"

"Oh, this? It's just my...uh...lucky spoon." Shawn held up the spoon.

"Lucky spoon?"

"No. This is...Well yeah, but I use it for my hair, to sculpt it and stuff." Shawn tangled the spoon in his hair like a dope.

Jonathan gave him a strange look. "Whatever floats your boat, I guess. Alright, take your seat."

Shawn obeyed. The rest of the class began to trickle in. _I wonder if he saw the hallway,_ he thought. _He had to, right?_

The bell rang, indicating class had officially started. "I saw the cute little pictures of me out there. Whoever did that, nice touch. I especially liked the glasses." John smirked knowingly at Shawn. "It's my birthday, so whoever was behind that must really think I'm special."

Cory and Shawn exchanged proud looks.

"However, the person, whoever they might be, should take them down before Feeny sees. Fair warning."

"Oh, right," Shawn whispered to Cory. "Oh well, what could happen? Probably just more detention."

"Up front, boys," Mr. Turner said. "Class time now."

He got through his lecture without a problem, much to Shawn's and Cory's dismay. _Why doesn't this guy ever sit?_ Shawn wondered. However, once the lecture was over and they were about to complete a pop quiz, John decided to sit and correct some papers. It felt quite anticlimactic because he didn't seem to notice anything off, not even the slipperiness of the pudding. Shawn couldn't help but stare, awaiting some sort of reaction. "Shawn, eyes on your paper," is all Mr. Turner said.

By the end of class, Shawn was basically bouncing in his seat. Mr. Turner would've gotten away with not showing his messy backside to the class, but he had always had a bad habit of making everyone linger for a moment after the bell for quick announcements. As he turned around to write the announcements on the board, the class gasped at the sight of the chocolate pudding stain placed directly in the middle of his butt.

"Um...Mr. Turner? I don't mean to be rude, but you...got a little something." Topanga tried to point to her own butt without making a scene.

"Oh, do I? Huh." Mr. Turner slid his hand back to feel the pudding. "Mmk. Not cool. I got other classes today. Who decided it'd be funny to put pudding on my chair, huh? Any takers?"

The class fell dead silent, all except for the soft snickering of Shawn. Not even Cory was laughing. Mr. Turner locked eyes with Shawn and pointed at him to come to the front. Shawn's face began to fall. _This isn't the line, is it? I didn't cross it?_ Shawn tried to smooth it over. "Good prank, huh?"

"Yeah, I hope that's the last one though, or you'll be looking at death's door." Mr. Turner had a serious quality to his voice, but his glinting eyes said "game on." Shawn's mouth turned up into a small, sly grin. He gave Turner a thumbs up and walked out of class.

.......................................................................................................................................................

"So, we're done here, right?" Cory asked as they were heading to lunch.

"Nope, not yet. I still haven't done the big shebang yet," Shawn explained.

"And what might that be?" 

"Don't know if you know this, but John has a secret admirer...and she loves to give flowers."

"Um...last time I checked, flowers were a nice gesture, not a prank."

"Not these flowers, buddy. These ones are gonna make John itch for days."

"Oh, you are EVIL." The boys laughed at the thought. "Are you sure about this? Don't you think that might be going a bit too far?"

"Not at all. I'm gonna have you do it though. After lunch, meet me at my locker. You can grab the plant with the note and set it on his desk."

"Why me though?"

Shawn hesitated. "Because I'm allergic."

"That's a big fat lie, and you know it."

"Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Just do it."

Cory groaned. "Fine, but this is it."

The boys entered the cafeteria, expecting a normal lunch time, but they got more than they bargained for. Not two minutes into their meal, Mr. Turner came up to them, eyeing them over.

"What do you want, Mr. Turner? We're eatin' here," Shawn said. Without a word, Turner "accidentally" bumped Shawn's juice box onto his lap, soaking his crotch. "What the- What was that for?"

"Oops." Mr. Turner held a sly smile across his face as he walked away.

Shawn grunted in anger. His face turned a deep shade of red as he tried to carefully get up, not wanting to show the entire room the condition of his pants. One of the girls seated kitty-corner from their table noticed and pointed, giggling. This made him boil over. Thoughts began to swirl in his head until one thought stuck. _I'm gonna kill him._ Shawn darted toward Mr. Turner with all his might. He was about to land a punch, but Cory held him back just in time. He calmed down suddenly, realizing the stupid stunt he was about to pull. Thankfully, Mr. Turner hadn't noticed since his back was turned.

"Cory, let's go!" Shawn pulled Cory out of the cafeteria as quick as he could. "I can't believe that punk would do that to me."

"You kind of had it comin' there, Shawn."

"Whose side are you on? Come, we're gonna get even." Shawn pulled Cory over to his locker and brought out the poison ivy. "I want you to set this on John's desk."

Cory was about to protest, but he decided not to push Shawn's temper further. On his first attempt, he successfully set down the plant on the assigned spot. However, right as he let go, one of the leaves of the plant made contact with his skin. He held his wrist up in horror and gave a silent scream. "What do I do? What do I do?" He ran back to Shawn, who was still lurking in the hallway. "Shawn, look."

"Consider that nothing but a battle wound. Wear it as a badge of honor. You make me proud."

"DUDE, this is not cool. It hurts like h*ll."

"Well, sorry, but you should've been more careful."

Cory scowled at Shawn in response.

"What?"

Without another word, Cory stormed away, toward the nurses' office.

 _Wimp,_ Shawn thought.


	15. Ch. 4/P. 3: Not Funny Anymore

Cory's POV:

This is the last straw. I. Am. Done. I won't let Shawn torture me anymore. Why poison ivy of all things? What happened to good old fashioned wet willies and stuff? I mean, I get it, pranking is what Shawn and John love to do as a way to bond or something, but there's a line. Shawn crossed WELL over my line. Now it's my turn to get even. I'm gonna show him who's boss. Yeah, you heard me. I will have the last laugh. I hope he thinks twice about making me do his bidding next time.

Cory knocked on Mr. Feeny's office. "Hey Mr. Feeny, can you do me a favor?"

Feeny looked up from some paperwork he had been filing and lowered his bifocals. "What is it, Mr. Matthews?"

"Turner's busy teaching a class, but I need to talk to him. It's urgent. Can you intercom him for me?"

Feeny studied Cory's nervous fidgeting. "Tell me why. I don't want to disturb him when he is in class. Shouldn't you also be in class?"

Cory paused. "Well, I just asked to be excused...Please, Mr. Feeny?"

"C'mon, tell me. Spit it out."

"Fine...it's Turner's birthday, as you know, and well, Shawn and I got a little carried away with our pranks. Now I regret it and need to warn him about a future prank...but it could be too late."

"And what is this future prank, Mr. Matthews? Does it involve dangerous chemicals?"

"No, no...poison ivy."

Feeny tapped a stack of papers on his desk to straighten them. A small smirk of amusement crept across his face, which seemed uncharacteristic from his usual stern appearance. "Well, I suppose I can call him over, but if he deems it fit to punish you, then I cannot stop him."

"But you're the principal, Mr. Feeny. You can do anything, can't you?"

"Oh, if only...In this instance, I simply WON'T intervene because I feel it's better for Mr. Turner to manage it. He's a big boy, ya know. He can handle two scallywags causing him minor irritation. Besides, I have enough on my plate as you can see." He could tell by Cory's face that Cory did not like that answer. He raised his eyebrows. "Unless you'd rather I suspend you for a day."

"No, no, no...it's fine. Just call Turner please."

"Well, alright."

.............................................................................

Mr. Turner entered the room, panting. "I came as quick as I could. What's the emergency? Is it Shawn again? I knew it..."

"No, no, Mr. Turner. Cory, explain." Feeny gestured for the two to have a seat.

Cory coughed to delay the awkward encounter.

"Well? C'mon, Matthews, I don't have all day," Turner stated.

"Um...I- we...Shawn and I, for your birthday, ya know, pranked you, but you know that."   
Turner flipped his index finger in a circle to make Cory go faster. "I know. Now get to the point. I've gotta go."

"Okay..." As if someone had suddenly turned a firehose on full blast, the words began to shoot out of Cory's mouth.

"Shawnmademeputpoisonivyonyourdesk."

To Cory's amazement, Turner simply sat there, unfazed, almost bored. "So? You don't think I knew that? I'm not dumb. I know what poison ivy looks like. I just laughed and threw it away."

"Whew, that's a relief...good to hear it...Since you're here though, I had an idea."

"Shoot."

"I want to get even with him, and that poison ivy might do the trick."

Turner looked over at Feeny, then back at Cory. "How about we discuss this elsewhere. Meet me in my classroom AFTER school, K?"

"So you'll help me?"

"Run along. We can discuss this later." With a side glance and subtle wink directed at Cory, Turner left the office.

_Oh no...I knew I should've stayed out of this...What is he gonna make me do?_

..........................................................................

"K so, here's the plan. I want you to call the house and distract Shawn while I hide the poison ivy in his bed. When he goes to bed tonight, let's just say he won't be having a fun time." Turner's mouth turned up into a devious smile.

"You're more evil than Shawn is!" Cory exclaimed, mortified.

"Where do you think he gets it from?"

"Okay, but you're not really related so..."

"So? Don't be wound so tight. Ya gotta learn to have fun sometimes, Cory, or else your hair will go gray before you even hit 35."

Cory reached for his hair, greatly concerned. "Yeah, maybe you're right...Okay, I'm in. Let's do it." 

...........................................................................

"JOHN. F*CK YOU." Shawn screamed bloody murder as he began to roll around on the floor to try and stop the sting of the constant itch.

"So, how do you like them apples?" John looked on with arms crossed, highly amused.

Shawn stopped itching for a minute to glare at John. "What were you thinking? It's all over me now."

"Your little plan backfired, didn't it? You played right into my hand. If this were a gun fight, you as my adversary basically surrendered your gun and even pulled the trigger for me. Seriously, you gotta get better at this. You're playing with the big boys now."

Shawn scoffed. "Well, you suck. I was just trying to have a little fun." He laid there defeated, his body trembling with pent up emotion.

"Shawn? Are you crying? Awe, I didn't mean to make you cry. I thought we were just messin' around." John lowered himself to the floor and tried to comfort him.

"No...it's not that...it's just...Even when you're mean, you're still nicer than my dad ever was. I don't get it. Why did he have to leave?"

John lightly patted his hair. "Oh, buddy, it's because I choose you over almost anything else. You're very important to me. I'm stayin' right here. I hope you realize that. I just want you to be safe and happy...You're both those things, right?"

Shawn sat up and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Yeah...I think so."

"Good...How 'bout I make it all better? I'm not PURE evil. I bought you some calamine lotion for that rash. Too bad it's all over your body, huh?" John couldn't help but laugh, but he stopped as soon as he realized Shawn didn't find it one bit amusing.

"Don't tell me...you're gonna have to douse my entire body with the stuff."

"How about I just fill the bathtub with it? Then you could manage on your own," John teased.

Shawn scowled at him. "I hope you know I don't think what you did was funny at all." He tried to stay mad, but he couldn't. A grin began to form on his face. "I guess I'm only mad because you beat me at my own game. Congrats."

"Thanks, man. I try my best...So, you seriously don't even wear underwear when you go to bed? That really sucks."

"Nope...The stupid rash is all over my butt. Thanks for that."

"Alright, let's get this over with then." John grabbed the cream from his pocket and waited for Shawn to undress.

"This is so awkward. You enjoy this, don't you?"

"Does it make you wanna kill me, just a little bit?"

"Yeah it does."

"Then maybe I enjoy it, just a little," John teased as he slathered the cream all over Shawn.

Shawn flinched as the icy cold shocked his skin. "How about let's hold off on pranks for a while."

"Agreed."


	16. Ch. 5/P. 1: Denial. (TW: loss, grief, confusion)

"Shawn! Someone's here to see you!" John opened the door to a worn out, older teen, probably seventeen. His face looked dull, almost as if it had lost its color. _Maybe the poor guy is sick?_ John thought.

Shawn came plopping down the stairs to see who the visitor was. A look of paralyzing shock appeared on his face. "WHAT are YOU doing HERE?"

The guy stood with arms wide open, expecting a warmer welcome. "Shawn I- I just thought-"

"You thought what? Why did you choose now to see me- after all these years? Why NOW? You're pathetic."

"Well, it's not a social visit..."

"Well, then get out. You shouldn't have come here."

John stood in the middle of the pair, confused as all get out.

"Look...There's no easy way to say this...but..."

"Just spit it out or leave."

The guy's shoulders slumped slightly, and his eyes became glossy. "Dad died."

Shawn scoffed. "Yeah right. The man's anything but a p*ssy. He wouldn't just go off and die without a fight."

"He's dead, Shawn."

Silence ensued for a few minutes as the truth sank in. John placed his hand on Shawn's shoulder to comfort him, breaking his trance. Shawn shook it off. "No, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's not like he was ever alive to begin with. He was always dead to me."

"Shawn, you don't mean that," John said.

"Yes I do. Jack, I need you to go. Thanks for stopping by." Shawn raced up to his room.

"But-" Jack just stood there, wondering what he should do next. The two guys stood suspended in time, waiting for the other to move or talk.

John decided to break the ice. "Sorry to hear about your dad."

"Yeah. I didn't know him very well. I feel worse for Shawn. I can't believe none of the family except me told him."

"Yeah, well...Why don't you come in?"

"That's okay...I just wanted to make sure he knew is all."

"C'mon, you're his brother. You're basically family to me now. I won't take no for an answer."

Jack paused, then sighed. "Oh, alright."

John forced a smile. "You know what always cheers me up, just a little?"

"What?"

"Some warm, chocolate chip pancakes. I made some fresh before you came here."

"Thanks, man," Jack replied, sitting down at the island. "So, uh, you're like Shawn's legal guardian now, huh?"

"Yep, that's about how I see it. I've got the papers to prove it, if you don't believe me."

"No, no. I believe you of course...I feel bad for the guy. He hasn't had it easy. Then, there's me, living the good life with my step parents."

"You can't help where you were raised or how you were brought up. It's nice of you to stop by though."

"Not sure if that's how Shawn sees it."

"He'll come around."

"I don't know...I've been bad about staying connected. He's right to be angry. We haven't seen each other since he was 11, and I didn't think to keep in touch. I'm a bad older brother, aren't I?"

"We all have our vices, but no, you seem like a very nice person, well brought up."

"Thanks."

Taking a bite of the pancakes, John continued. "So, how long do you think I should let him mope up there before I check on him?"

"If I know Shawn, I'm betting he's gonna mope for at least a month or two, heck, even longer. You're gonna have to coax him out. As long as I've known him, when stuff like this happens, he'd hide somewhere and never come out."

John sighed. "Great...I don't know what I should do then. I mean, when my sister died, it was awful, but my parents never let me be alone to grieve. I didn't like that very much."

"Yeah, well, I would suggest leaving him be for now. Maybe try later tonight, and offer him something to eat."

"Yeah, okay."

......................................................................................................................

"Shawn?" John knocked on the doorframe as he peered into Shawn's pitch dark bedroom. "You awake?"

A groan came out from the shadows.

"I know you probably don't want to see me right now, but I brought you something to eat. Here." John switched on the light and sat an omelet on his bedside table.

Shawn hissed in retaliation to the bright light. "C'mon, I was sleeping."

"Shawn, I know this must be very painful for you. Do you want me to stay for a little while?"

"No. I just wanna sleep it off." Shawn turned over in bed.

"Alright then, but I'm leaving that omelet there for you. Please eat it before it gets too cold." John lingered for a minute, watching to make sure Shawn was alright. Then, with a sigh, he left the room.

John's POV:

Great. Now this. Things were just starting to look up for us. Shawn was just starting to see his own potential. He was smiling more even. All the progress is gone now. We'll have to start over. I just hope Jack is wrong. I can't bear to see Shawn upset, especially with something this serious and final. I just hope he doesn't do anything reckless, something he'd regret later. 


	17. Ch. 5/P. 2: There is no "Fun" in "Fun"eral.

John knocked on Shawn's door to wake him up for Chet's funeral. When he did, he realized that Shawn was not in bed. He hollered for him and looked everywhere in the apartment, but there was still no sign of him. Instead of panicking right off the bat, he decided to call Jack.

"Is Shawn with you?"

"No, he isn't. Why?"

"He's not in his room, or in the bathroom. He's nowhere. I've gotta find him before the funeral."

"This is gonna sound strange, but I wouldn't worry. I'm betting he's just out for a walk to clear his head. He'll be back before long. Don't expect him to be on time though 'caus we both know that's not gonna happen."

"I guess I have no choice unless I want to send out an Amber alert."

"Don't worry. Just sit tight. He'll turn up. I can come over to be some kind of support if you want."

"Ya know, that'd be great. I'm dyin' here."

"Okay, be right there."

*click*

John hung up the phone and began to pace the room. _Where would he go? This is all my fault. I knew I should've listened to my gut and just stayed with him. I just hope he comes back._

John paused for a moment, then dialed Jack again.

"Jack?"

"Yeah? I'm comin'."

"No it's fine. I think I'm just gonna go look for him."

"Dude, it's not gonna matter. When Shawn doesn't want to be found, he won't be. Trust me, it'll be a wasted effort."

John could feel a lump bubbling up in the back of his throat, bringing tears to his eyes. "Well, I can't just sit here and wait," he shouted. "What if he doesn't come back?"

"Calm down. He'll show up. He's smarter than you think."

"Yeah, I know he's smart. I'm his GOD D*MN teacher. I can't just sit here and do nothing. He could hurt himself."

"Maybe, but he won't. Be patient. Please. I'll be right over."

......................................................................................................................

"Well, he still hasn't shown up." John peered down at his watch as he and Jack waited at the back of the church for Shawn. "It's already noon. It started at 11:30am."

Jack patted his shoulder. "It's okay, man. He'll be here. It's his dad's funeral, for Pete's sake."

A floppy head of hair bounced toward them from the foyer.

"There you are! Where have you been?" John asked, grabbing his arm. "You nearly killed me with worry, Shawn. You can't just run off like that."

"Let go of me." Shawn pushed John and Jack aside as he made his way up to the front of the church. He stood by the podium where the clergyman was making his spiel. "Gimme that. It's my turn." Shawn grabbed the microphone from the pastor and cleared his throat. The whole room of guests just stared, astonished that he had the nerve to interrupt such a sacred event.

Shawn gestured toward his dad's open casket. "That guy right there, in that box? He's not who you all think he is. He was NEVER there, and when he was, he drank. A lot. He NEVER had time for me, and now he never will. Ya know what? This may look like a funeral, but he's been dead long before now. He's always been a dead man. That's all I have to say...Okay, here." Without hesitation, Shawn dropped the mic back into the pastor's hand and fled the building. Jack and John exchanged concerned glances.

"I'm going after him," John said.

"Well, me too," Jack replied. "Can I hitch a ride on your Harley?"

"He's on foot. He can't be that fast."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

The two ran as fast as they could out of the church building. They scanned the parking lot but couldn't find Shawn.

"Where could he have gone, and so quick?" John asked.

"I don't know. Don't look at me."

A sound almost like a chainsaw pierced the air. John's heart dropped. "The kid's got my bike! How'd he do that? I had my keys right-" John put his hands in his pockets only to come up empty. "The little rat stole my keys. What now?"

Jack shrugged. "Ya know, ya gotta be quicker on your feet. Like I said, my brother is clever. If you don't keep three steps ahead of him, he'll take advantage of you."

"Well...I guess we wait," John said, hands on hips.

"Or...we could ask someone in the church if we could borrow their car. We could scour the town for him."

"Good idea. You think we should send an Amber Alert?"

"Let's wait a few. He shouldn't be far."

"I sure hope you're right." 


	18. Ch. 5/P. 3: Reality Hits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Shorter Chapter* sorry.

John and Jack drove around the town for a good hour and a half. They checked the Matthews' house, but he wasn't there. They finally decided to check out the trailer parks that they knew Shawn might visit. By dumb luck, they found Shawn seated by a pond behind his Uncle Mike's trailer.

Jack decided to wait in the car as John talked with Shawn.

John sat down on the ground next to Shawn. He paused to gather his thoughts before breaking the silence. "Don't run away again. Running away is not gonna solve your problems."

Shawn stared at the geese as they swam on the water, refusing to make eye contact. "Well, it worked for my dad."

"Shawn, you and I both know that your dad was irresponsible. That's partly why he's in the ground right now."

"Yeah, you're not wrong." Shawn tossed a pebble into the pond and watched it sink. They sat in silence for a while until Shawn was ready to talk.

"I hate him."

John grabbed Shawn's chin and looked him in the eye. "Don't talk about your dad that way."

"Why not? It's the truth! I can say it if I want to."

John softened a bit, putting his arm around Shawn's shoulders. He let out a sigh. "I know...Shawn, let's go home. I can get you warmed up and dried off."

"What do you mean? I didn't jump in the pond or nothing."

John gave Shawn a knowing glance. "Well, what's that on your shirt then?"

Shawn looked down at the large stain covering his entire front. "Oh this? It's just the way the shirt is."

"You can't fool me, Shawn. Death is hard. It's okay to cry."

Shawn went on the defense. "I was NOT crying, dude. I don't even miss-" He couldn't finish the sentence before tears came flowing down again. "IT'S NOT FAIR." He punched the ground, hurting his fist, then cradled the injury. "F*CK."

"Shawn..." John warned. "Alright, c'mon. Let's go."

Shawn pretended not to hear him.

"Shawn, please. I'm not leaving without you."

Shawn pivoted away and put his head in his knees. "Just go." Angry sobs emanated from him, their echoes bouncing off the trees.

"Alright, bud. Come on." John laced his arms under Shawn's neck and knees. Shawn was so worn out from heavy emotion that he didn't even try to fight it.


	19. Ch. 6/P. 1: Leave. Me. Alone.

Shawn's POV:

John just doesn't get it. He doesn't know how to leave me alone when I need my space. I bet he's never even had a pet die, let alone a human he was close to. It really sucks...but all he seems to care about is that I go to class and keep my grades up. That's all he EVER cares about. He's gotta push and push, but one day, I swear I'll explode or do something I regret. I just know I will. He better let up 'caus I can't take this anymore. I can't take another one of his pity looks or those speeches about how life has a way of working out. They make me gag. I swear, the next time he gets under my skin will be the last time. Guaranteed.

Shawn and John had just begun to settle in after the school day had ended. John was making supper while Shawn finished up some homework.

John gave Shawn a prying look. "Why don't you head out with Veronica tonight or something? You should try to get back out there again. It's been over a month now." 

"Nah I'm good. I was just planning on taking a nap."

"Shawn, c'mon. All you've been doing is napping." 

"Fine. You wanna know why I don't want to? We broke up."

"Wow...That's...Why?"

"She was just too clingy."

"Really, Shawn? I thought you two hit it off. You seemed to be quite smitten with her."

"It's not a big deal, John, okay? Things happen."

"Okay, okay...then why don't you go hang out with your best friend? You haven't seen him in ages. He still calls like everyday. He's always disappointed when I answer instead of you. You should try answering sometime."

"I'm fine. I just need my space. How many times do I have to tell you that? Huh? Like a THOUSAND?"

"You don't have to be so snippy about it. Alright. I'll take you out somewhere instead. You can pick the place."

Shawn sighed and slumped his shoulders. "No. I'm good. I think I might go lay down for a bit." He began to trudge off, trying to defuse his short fuse, but John stopped him.

"Kid, I don't think it's healthy for you to lock yourself in your room so much. Come, sit on the couch with me. We'll watch a movie or something."

"No, John. I need to be alone. Stop...breathing down my neck."

"C'mon, don't be like that. I think you need some social interaction right now." John reached for Shawn's sleeve, but he yanked himself free. 

"No I DON'T!" John tried to grab him again, but Shawn shoved him away as hard as he could. "LEAVE ME ALONE." John sighed in defeat, letting Shawn have his way.

_Great. I pushed too much again. I'm not good at letting things be I guess...I hope he doesn't do something stupid now 'caus of it..._

Shawn sprinted up the stairs, ripped his clothes off, then launched himself on his bed, face first.

_Ugh. I can't stand him...Glad I finally got out of there when I did 'caus I was about to deck the guy...Ya know what? F*ck this. He doesn't take a hint. He'll be back. I'm gonna lock myself in the bathroom. He won't bother me in there, at least I hope not...but I'm afraid he might..._

Turning his thoughts into actions, Shawn grabbed the blanket off his bed, as well as his pillow, and scurried into the bathroom, locking the door. Breathing a sigh of relief, he nestled himself into his makeshift bed in the bathtub, cocooned as snugly as he could. He began to doze off, forgetting his own existence. Soon though, waves of intense emotion hit him out of nowhere, knocking him out of his restful trance. Sobs tore out from his throat, making him feel like he might throw up.

_What is happening to me? This is so dumb. Why can't I make this stop?_

Shawn held his gut as he raced from the bathtub to hover over the toilet. Retching, confusion stirred inside his head, making him feel worse. A paralyzing dizziness made his body feel like it was swimming.

_This is bad...I wonder if I got something that could help stop this..._

He rummaged through the drawers under the sink. He came across some Tylenol and some Benadryl. 

I guess we'll give this a shot.

He chose Benadryl but didn't bother looking at the directions. He settled on five. _This should do it,_ he thought. Almost immediately, he began to feel heavy with intense drowsiness, and he drifted off to sleep.


	20. Ch. 6/P. 2: The Rude Awakening

Shawn woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of yelling and pounding on the bathroom door.

_John. Ugh._

"Shawn, you in there? Why are your blankets missing? Come out. Talk to me."

"John, stop it. I'm just getting ready. Can you let me get ready please?"

"Well, fine, suit yourself. I've got breakfast on, so come down soon please."

"Whatever. I'm not hungry."

"Shawn, you're eating. I won't let you go hungry. You haven't had anything since yesterday at lunch. Heck, I don't even know if you had lunch."

"Fine, if you just give me some space, okay?"

John paused, listening through the door to the shuffling Shawn was making. "Um...Shawn? What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Just getting ready. Go away please." Shawn dropped the bottle of Benadryl from the night before, which made a clattering sound.

"Then what was that?"

"What?"

"Just now."

"Oh, nothing."

"Shawn, if you're lying to me, I really don't feel comfortable trusting you to be alone. Do I have to come in there?"

"N-no. C'mon, please just stop already. You're killing me."

"No, Shawn. I'm afraid you're killing yourself. You have five seconds to open this door...5...4..."

"NO! I'll be out soon. Just ten minutes." Shawn began to quicken the pace of his breathing as he hid inside the shower, afraid that he would expose himself (because he still slept without clothes).

"Come out. NOW. I'm not playin' here...3...2...SHAWN. I will SPANK you again. I will do it. Do you want me to? Open. The. D*MN. Door. I've had near enough of this."

"Well, SAME HERE," Shawn said in retaliation.

John was fuming by this point, at the lack of respect Shawn continued to show. "Fine. I'll just get the drill. Don't move. I'll be back."

As soon as John had left to grab the drill, Shawn realized he would have to think on his feet. Where should I hide? He slipped out of the bathroom as quickly as he could then hid himself under his bed.

When John came back in the room, it didn't take him long to figure out Shawn had changed locations. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Shawn? Shawn! Get your butt out here right NOW. It'll be worse for you in the long run if you stay hidden."

Shawn had two options, at least as he saw it. He could try to run or he could stay hidden. He gave up. "John? Please don't make me come out. I'm actually in the nude right now. Can you wait in the hall while I change?"

"Fine, but don't be too long. I'm not done with you. You're gonna be the death of me, kid, seriously." John swung the drill in his hand as he meandered out to the hall.

Whew. Okay...I think I got some time. Shawn hurried out of his hiding spot to get dressed. He also made his bed, but messed it up slightly, to evade any prying questions.

"You done in there?"

"Just about...okay...there. Come in, I guess."

John walked back in, his face flushed with irritation. He tried to hold in his temper. "Shawn. You worried me. I thought you had...I don't know...done something dangerous." He gulped back the knot in his throat that aimed to choke him out.

"Well, I didn't, so f*ck off, okay?"

"Nope. Not gonna happen. In fact, I expect an apology for your disrespect, or we're gonna have another issue. I'm not gonna let your awful language go unchecked anymore."

"Why does it matter so much? Huh? They're just words. They don't mean anything."

"Shawn, don't test me. I've been very lenient with you."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "It's about time someone gave you a test for a change. You're always giving me plenty. I'm sick of you breathing down my neck constantly." 

Silence ensued for a few moments as John shot daggers at Shawn.

"Look, I know that this hasn't been a walk in the park for you, but I am your dad now, and I deserve some respect...so, if you're not gonna cooperate, I can make you change your attitude pretty fast." John pulled Shawn's arm toward him, but Shawn fought as hard as he could.

"You're making this much harder on yourself, man." Finally, after one last tug, he had successfully moved Shawn onto the bed and pinned him down.

"Please don't. I'll stop. I'll stop, John."

"Too late. You missed your chance. Now, stay still."

"What are you gonna do, John?"

"Shawn, you know what I'm gonna do. We've been through this before. It'll be over before you know it." John grabbed the hairbrush sitting on Shawn's desk and raised his arm. "I want you to count these. There's gonna be 20. If you block, I will add more."

"Please don't. I promise I'll stop."

"Move your hands, kid. I WILL add more."

Shawn hesitantly obeyed. Not four smacks into the punishment, he began to wail out in pain. "I'm sorry! Please stop."

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

SMACK 

John kept the pace, despite Shawn's constant protesting. WHACK. WHACK. "Okay, the last three are gonna be bare, kid. Brace yourself."

"No! Why?" Shawn, guarding his already sore butt, tried kicking John away.

"Stay still." John held Shawn's hands tighter as he launched the last three smacks in random succession onto Shawn's blotchy skin. He set the hair brush on the bedside table, then rubbed Shawn's back as Shawn buried his head into the bed, screaming in frustration between sobs of rage.

"Just GO AWAY. I don't want to see you."

John didn't listen but instead kept alternating reassuring pats between his head and his back.

"Why don't you ever listen, John? I said LEAVE."

"No. I won't, Shawn. Being alone is the last thing you need right now...Look at me."

Shawn turned over slightly to humor him, nervous John might plant a few more on his butt if he ignored the command. "What?"

"I don't trust you to be in your room by yourself. I saw the bottle of pills on the floor. How many of them did you take?"

 _Sh*t. I forgot. Now he knows..._ "It was only three I think. That's not that bad."

"I don't care. That's a slippery slope that won't end well. You remember what I told you about my sister?"

"Yeah...I remember." 

"Then you should understand why this is so serious...this is gonna sound crazy, but I want you to start sleeping in my room. I need to keep an eye on you right now. I don't want you ending up like her."

"Joooohn...Ugh. I can't do ANYTHING without you finding out, can I?" 

"Nope, 'fraid not. Please Shawn, just for a little while, until I feel like you're safe. Do it for my peace of mind."

"Fine, but I'm not sharing no bed with you."

"No, of course not. I'll set a cot up in there. It's a nice cot too, just for you...consider it being grounded from alone time...I love you, Shawn. I just want the best for you. I hope you can understand that."

"Yeah...yeah...I know. I got it. You just love to smother me."


	21. Ch. 7/P. 1: No Privacy. None.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: self harm

Shawn's POV:

Man, I thought my life was bad up until now, but now (somehow) it's much worse. John was right about one thing...He sure did take away any ounce of privacy I thought I had. I'm lucky to even use the bathroom alone. Even then, he counts every minute that I'm in there and asks every five minutes if I'm still alive. It's suffocating. Aggravating. I know he's just trying to help, but jeez. I guess I sort of brought this on myself...

One good thing that has come from this is I've been thinking a lot more. I know, it sounds strange, but it's true. Turns out most of my thoughts are spent dwelling on the past and on how people have treated me. It crushes me. Maybe that's what's been causing this darkness. I'm not quite sure though. The only way I've been able to cope is by writing everything down in my black book where I keep any girlfriends' numbers. John knows not to touch it, so at least it's a safe way to vent. If this stuff got into the wrong guy's hands, I'd be toast for sure.

  
*Turner's Classroom*

"Shawn, head up please." Turner was in the middle of teaching the lesson, but it didn't matter to Shawn. Shawn's mind was bogged down with too many of his own issues to care. He tapped his pencil to try to calm his racing thoughts.

Topanga turned around. "Shawn, knock it off. You know I hate that tapping noise."

He slouched and rolled his eyes. "Well, what am I supposed to do then? I can't just sit here."

"Shawn, what's wrong?" Cory couldn't help but interrupt, being the caring friend that he was.

Shawn sighed. "It's...nothing. Really."

"You sure, bud? You're vibrating the whole floor with your foot."

Tension rose inside him. He didn't know why exactly, but he knew that if he didn't leave soon, he would blow up at whoever was nearest him. Shawn tried ignoring Cory, but Cory kept prying, not taking the hint. "Ya know what? I can't do this anymore. See ya." He launched himself out of his seat and walked out to the hallway. John hadn't noticed him leave because his back was turned as he wrote the announcements for the week.

What should I do? Should I go after him? Cory thought. He decided to stay at least until the announcements were finished for fear of getting himself in trouble.

Shawn paced back and forth in the boy's bathroom, then stopped in front of one of the stalls and pounded his head on its side. "I'm such a f*cking screw up. Why didn't I end up like my lousy dad? I should be in the ground too. I'm just like him- a f*cking screw up." He sat on the floor inside the first stall and pulled out his black book. "I've just gotta write...That's all. Things will get better if I just let it bleed onto the page..." He took a pencil out of his pocket and attempted to write something, anything.

Nothing.

Nothing would come. "Sh*t. I hate this. I need this to stop. NOW." In frustration, he jabbed his pencil into his leg, drawing blood. Tears of anger flowed down his cheeks as he continued the stabbing motion. "I can't...make it stop! Why won't this pain stop?!"

Shawn sunk down into a fetal position beside the toilet, allowing his emotions to completely drown him and take over any logical thought. I need something sharper than this. I can't do any real damage with this, nothing permanent. He chucked the pencil aside and began to rummage through his pockets. He remembered that John had given him a swiss army knife for Christmas that he carried with him everywhere.

_This. This should do the trick._

Taking the knife, he began to part the skin beneath the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Adrenaline coursed through his body as he made streaking patterns across his forearms and wrists.

Wow. Why does this feel so...good, so satisfying? I can feel something besides inner death.

Breaking him out of his suicidal thoughts, he heard his name called from the hallway. Oh sh*t. It's Cory. Why can't he just leave me the h*ll alone for once? He tried to remain silent in hopes that Cory would go back to the classroom. No such luck. He could see Cory's shoes from under the stall.

"Shawn? Shawn. Please, I know you're upset about something. We need to talk. I'm not gonna let you self-destruct again. C'mon, where are you, dude? SHAWN!"

Shawn didn't know why, maybe it was Cory's insistence, but he decided to answer. "I'm down here, Cor. Help. Please."

Cory opened the door to the first stall. At the sight of Shawn in a pool of his own blood, his face turned pale. "Shawn, what on earth have you done? Why? Are you insane?" He pulled Shawn up to a seated position and noticed his arms. He held his wrists and inspected the damage. He gasped. "Shawn...Oh no. This is bad...This is very, very bad...TURNER! SOMEONE HELP!" Frantic sobs burst out from Cory, something Shawn desperately hoped wouldn't happen.

Shawn put his hand over Cory's mouth. "Dude. It's just blood. Chill out. I'm...fine...Well, I guess I'm not, but...just help me get cleaned up, K? It was just an accident." He stared at Cory with urgent eyes, pleading with him to be quiet. "Okay, I'm gonna let go of your mouth now, and you're gonna stay calm and help me." He removed his hand.

As soon as Shawn removed his hand, Cory darted out of the bathroom, screaming for help.

_Great. Just great. F*cking perfect. Now everyone's gonna see me like this. They're gonna think I'm some kind of freak._

Shawn lost it. Emotions came pouring out into his knees as he waited for someone to rescue him from the agony.

Cory then pulled John into the bathroom. To both the boys' surprise, John's face remained stoic- no panic whatsoever. He sighed. "Shawn...I'm so sorry. Come, let me help you." John lifted Shawn up to a standing position. "Wow. This is a lot of blood, man. I should've saw this coming. This is all my fault...I should've been watching." As John tried to hold himself together, he wrapped his tie, and whatever else he could find, around Shawn's cuts to halt the bleeding.

"STOP. Just...stop, John. I can't anymore. I gotta leave. I gotta go somewhere else. Don't wait up for me." Shawn bolted toward the hallway, but as soon as he reached the door, his body collapsed in a heap.

"SHAWN!" Both Cory and John ran over to him.

"Cory, I need you to call 9-1-1, then let Mr. Feeny know what's going on. I'll stay here with Shawn. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah, I-I think I can."

"Okay, good. Thanks..." John glanced down at Shawn's unconscious state. He smacked his face lightly to wake him up. "Shawn, stay with me. We're getting you help."

~I hope this wasn't too triggering for you...If you need help, I am here to talk. There are also suicide help lines you can google to get the help you need if you are experiencing difficulties. Thank you for reading. #mentalhealthawareness


	22. Ch. 7/P. 2: No One Gets Me.

"Shawn, calm down. They are just trying to help you." John sat on the hospital bed next to Shawn as he tried to pin his arms to his sides to keep him from fighting the nurses.

"F*CK OFF. I want out of here. NOW. I. Am. Fine." Shawn tried kicking at the nurse who was coming at him with a shot of Haldol to relax him.

John shoved his finger in Shawn's face. "SHAWN. I am warning you, RIGHT now. Quit it."

The sweet, young nurse backed off. "It's alright. Perhaps I can come back later."

"No. It's okay. Shawn will behave. Right?" John glared at him to cooperate.

Shawn closed his eyes tight and winced as the nurse cautiously inserted the needle into his arm. "See? It wasn't that bad, was it?" She said with a smile. Shawn ignored her.

"Thanks, Nurse...Natalie." John sent her a smile that said "I can look at you all day."

She returned the favor.

"Oh, just _knock it off_ already _._ Why do you always have to embarrass me by flirting with any female that walks on two legs?" Shawn huffed.

"Sorry for Shawn here. He's just not used to hospitals."

"Well, no one comes here to party," Natalie offered.

John let out a chuckle. "I bet not...Hey, maybe if we get out of here by the end of your shift, we could thank you by taking you out some place nice."

Shawn gagged at the thought.

"That's real sweet of you, but I'll have to pass. When I wear my badge, I have to keep my professional boundaries."

"Do you wear a badge all the time? 'Caus if not...I mean..."

"I suppose I don't...You just don't give up, do you?"

"Eh, I'm just observant is all."

"Well...even if I said yes, I'm afraid the doctor may want to keep you here overnight for observation, then possibly transfer you to the juvenile mental institution down the street."

Shawn jolted up in bed, interrupting their mini rendezvous. "Nope. There is NO way I am going to some loony bin. I will leave. You can't hold me against my will."

"Shawn, if the doctor says you have to stay here or go somewhere to get help, that's what you'll have to do. No arguing," John explained. Shawn challenged him with a glare as he began to get up. He yanked the IV line out of his hand, allowing blood to leak out onto the floor. He was about to leave, but John grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. "NO YOU DON'T."

"Come on! It's not fair! It was just one accident."

Turning toward the nurse while keeping a hold of Shawn, John said, "I'm sorry, Natalie. What should we do?"

"Um...I'll call the doctor to see what he recommends." Natalie attempted to wrap Shawn's hand with some gauze and tape, but he shook her off. Flustered, she left the room.

"Shawn, what was THAT? That was not cool. This isn't you...Maybe you SHOULD be getting some extra help. Come here." John pulled Shawn toward the bed and felt his forehead.

"Stop with the forehead thing. I'm fine, John. Please, just let me go. I can't take this suffocation anymore."

"What do you mean...suffocation? Aren't I fair to you?"

"You don't know when to back off, man. Sometimes I just need my space."

"Hey, if I gave you more space, who knows if you'd even be alive right now. I shouldn't have taken my eye off of you in the classroom either, or else none of this would've happened. I guess I sort of failed you, haven't I?"

"That's not what I was saying...I was just saying that I'm the kind of guy who needs to be by himself when stuff happens."

"But I gave you a month or more to do your own thing after Chet died. Eventually, you just have to live again. Why won't you let anyone get close to you? Not Cory, not me...No girls have come around. It's just not like you."

"I don't know, okay? I just don't know."

Shawn and John sat in silence for a while until the doctor came in. He wore the traditional garb of a white lab coat and slacks, as well as a serious expression on his face while he peered down over his glasses at his chart. "It looks like we might have to keep you here for a bit."

"Why? Why can't I just leave?" Shawn whined.

"Because your dad here informed us of your actions, how you tried harming yourself. According to him, your friend overheard you saying you want to kill yourself. Is this true?"

"Well, I didn't mean it. I was just...It was just a scratch. A moment of weakness."

The doctor pointed at Shawn's arms. "Those are more than scratches, bud. You see how many stitches you have? That's 23, and those cuts were deep. I'm shocked we didn't have to give you blood...I'm sorry, but I think you need a mental health evaluation and closer monitoring before we can send you home. You may possibly need a week or two in Jenner's Juvenile Mental Facility down the street as well."

"This is bullsh*t. Can't a guy make his own decisions around here?" John shot Shawn a warning look, but Shawn ignored it.

"Because you are a minor and under your dad's care, plus a danger to yourself, you are deemed unfit to make wise decisions regarding your healthcare...I can sense you are angry and probably nervous, so, tell me about your hesitation revolving around going to a mental facility."

"What's there to tell? It's where the whack jobs live. I'm NOT crazy. I'm just...sad sometimes, I guess."

"Mental illness is not something to be ashamed about. It can affect anyone at any time. In your case, feeling depressed might be quite normal since you're grieving a recent loss."

"I didn't say I was depressed."

"It's not weird to have depression. It's not your fault," the doctor offered.

"So, you figured me out, huh? Well, _woop-dee-do_. The guy thinks he can make me all better...I don't care. I'm not going."

The doctor sighed and exchanged glances with John. John shrugged in response. Realizing the doctor needed his help, John piped up. "Oh, I guess it's my turn now...Shawn, you don't have a choice here. You are going. We are done discussing this. That's final."

Shawn looked up at the ceiling and crossed his arms, trying to fight back tears.

"Don't worry. It won't be for very long... IF you allow us to help you. Can you do that? Can you help us help you?" The doctor asked.

Shawn paused. "Maybe, but what do I get out of the deal? Is my life gonna just magically change when I go back home or what?"

"There is nothing magical about the medical profession. You simply have chemicals in your brain that need to be adjusted with medication. It's an imbalance."

"Oh, so the medication is gonna fix me? Like I can't be normal on my own. I guess I am a freak then."

"If you take the medication as we tell you to, the medication should work. If it doesn't, we will try other kinds of medication until something does work. A therapist can help you learn coping methods as well."

"Sweet...My life just keeps getting better and better..."


	23. Ch. 7/P. 3: Stop Making Me Do Stuff.

**~Here's an inside scoop of what it's like to be inside a psych ward. Trust me, I've seen stuff as a nurse. Welcome to my world! :) Enjoy!**

"Shawn, honey, it's time for your morning meds. Can you sit up please?" The day shift nurse always seemed too peppy for any of the patients' liking, especially so early in the morning. It rubbed Shawn the wrong way.

He grunted in response.

"Do we have to do this again? Come on. It takes one second. Wakey, wakey." The nurse gently nudged Shawn's shoulder, causing him to jerk.

"Lady, why do I have to keep telling you this? I don't need that crap. All I need is sleep. It's my body. I think I should know what's best for it."

"How about this...I will allow you first dibs on the shower room this morning. It'll be nice and hot, but you have to humor me. Come on, sit up."

"Well...Tell me what that pill does again."

"It's just for depression, to help you go back to your normal routine."

"I AM NOT DEPRESSED. I am just TIRED. Why won't you just let me f*cking SLEEP?"

"Okay. I will be calling your father then."

Shawn sighed. "He's not gonna help. It's gonna be a waste of your time."

"Well, we keep rehashing this over and over, every single day that you've been here. It's been a week and a half. What would make you feel more comfortable here?"

Another nurse, the charge nurse, came bellowing in, interrupting their conversation. "Sonny, you better listen to your nurse, or I will find other ways to give this to you."

"Um...It's fine, Dorothy. We were just discussing constructive ways to get the most out of his time here."

"I think the kid is just trying to manipulate you and needs to be put in his place." The older nurse snatched the pill cup from the younger and approached Shawn. "Here. Take this." She placed the pill in his hand.

Shawn just stared at it, then handed it back to her and turned over in bed.

"Is this how we're gonna play today? Well...hmm...We'll just see about that." The older nurse began to saunter away.

"What are you planning to do, Dorothy?"

"He's gonna have to learn how we do things around here. He will take this pill one way or another."

"It's in his rights as a patient to refuse treatment, isn't it?"

Dorothy clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Have I taught you nothing? The kid is here for a reason. He is not thinking clearly enough to make those kinds of decisions for himself. That is what we are here for...Anyway, it is almost 8 o' clock. If he is not up and dressed in three minutes, he will be late for breakfast. The breakfast tray waits for no one." Before exiting the room, she pierced Shawn with her menacing eyes. "I will be back, kid. We will get this pill into you, just you wait."

Shawn gulped. "Um...what does that mean?"

"Oh, I'm sure she's just trying to scare you. Don't worry. I will make sure you are well taken care of while under my supervision. You heard her, right? Hop to it. You don't want to be late for breakfast. Wow...I haven't even started my morning rounds. Okay, I'll see you in a bit. I'm trusting you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm on it." Shawn slowly rolled out of bed.

"Thank you." The nurse began to leave the room, but Shawn stopped her.

"Hey, thanks for not being a grouch like everyone else here. It's nice...What's your name again?"

"No problem. You can call me Jean," she said with a smile. "Now, get dressed before that grouchy nurse comes back."

"Okay, fine."

At the breakfast table in the commons area, he sat across from a girl about his age and kiddy-corner from two obnoxious twelve-year-old twin boys with obvious ADHD. He sighed as he tried not to make eye contact with anyone, staring down at his food.

"Why don't you try eating it for once? I'm shocked you haven't died of starvation." The girl sitting across from him loved to pry and tease.

Shawn rolled his eyes. "Why don't you mind your own business for once? I'm shocked you haven't died of someone punching you for getting on their nerves."

"Excuse me, Mr. Hunter? We do not talk like that here. This is your second warning. Do you want to lose recreational time again?" The head counselor, Rick, stood monitoring the behavior of every kid as often as possible, especially in how they interacted with peers.

Shawn pushed his tray aside. "I'm not hungry. Can I go take a shower?"

Rick walked over to Shawn and observed the plate through his round, rimless glasses. "You haven't made a dent in your food. Are you not hungry? I haven't seen you eat much of anything since you've been with us. Please eat at least half of what's on your plate or no rec time. I mean it."

Shawn rolled his eyes as Rick walked away. "It's so bland."

"How would you know? You haven't even picked up the fork," the sassy girl said.

Shawn scoffed. "I just know, okay? It smells like someone doused it in salt."

"You are determined to have a rotten time here, huh? What do you do for fun? I assume you don't look this miserable all the time."

"I have lots of fun, just not here."

"Well, this is my fourth time being here, and I tell ya, it's not that bad. The people here just want to see you grow. There's some stuff to do here if you know where to look. I can show you the secret crawl space I found if you want. We can sneak some more rec time in there."

"So, you're THAT type of girl, the one who bends the rules. I could see this working out."

"What do you mean? I'm only gonna show you the ropes if you tell me about yourself. How do I know I can trust you?"

"Do you want someone you can trust or someone to accept you with your dirty little secrets? One good thing about me is I'm no snitch."

"Okay, I like that. I'm Sandy. Put 'er there." She reached out her hand, but Shawn refused to shake it.

"Um...Yeah, I don't do that."

"What? You think I have cooties or something?"

"No...Fine." Shawn reached out and shook her hand. "There. Now, what is there to do here?"

"Meet me in the back of the gym later, and I'll tell you." Her eyes glinted a mischievous shimmer.

_Huh. This may not be so bad after all._


	24. Ch. 7/P. 4: How Can I Trust You?

"Good morning, Shawn!" The same peppy nurse from the day before came skipping into the room with his morning medications.

Shawn groaned in response, as usual.

"Oh, c'mon, this should be routine by now. Don't make me get that grumpy old nurse you love so much," she teased.

"Fine...but then can I get first dibs on the shower?"

"If you hurry! It's 7:30am right now, which means you only have a half an hour, and there are other kids to consider too."

"Yeah, yeah. Just gimme that, then I'll go do my thing." Shawn took the cup of pills and dumped them in his mouth, swallowing them without water.

"Wow. You're talented. You're really getting the hang of this."

"Yeah..."

The nurse rocked on her feet and swung her arms. "Alright, I suppose I'll let you get ready then. Pay attention to the clock."

"Okay, I will." Waiting until the nurse left and shut the door behind her, Shawn shot out of bed and raced into his private bathroom. With his finger, he scooped out the pills that he pocketed in his cheek into the toilet and flushed them. "There." After making sure the evidence had vanished, he gathered a new set of yellow scrubs and a towel and went out into the hall.

Just before he could enter the shower room, Sandy cut him off. "Oh, I didn't see you there, just like I didn't see you in the back of the gym yesterday. Why'd you blow me off like that? Huh?"

Shawn could feel her hot breath on his face as she stared him down. He couldn't help but smirk. "Ya know, you're not that intimidating. Nice try though." He tussled her curly hair with his hand and glided past her into the shower room.

"Nuh uh. Show me some decency, man. At least give me an apology, or better yet, let me have the shower first."

"Who died and made you queen? Get out. It's my turn." Shawn playfully shooed her out, but she didn't find it funny.

"No. I'm serious. You can't just tell a girl you're gonna do something then decide not to do it. What kind of guy are you?"

"A guy who wants to take a shower, preferably a hot one. Is that okay with you?"

Sandy rolled her eyes. "You are so _mature_ , just like the rest of them. I guess I won't tell you my dirty little secrets then. B-bye." She began to saunter out.

Shawn grabbed her hand. "Hold it. But you promised me you would." He puffed out his lower lip, hoping to persuade her.

Sandy tried her best to keep her scowl from turning into a grin. She planted her finger on his chest. "No. That is not how this works. You broke your promise, so why do I have to keep mine?"

Shawn hesitated. "I guess you have a point."

"So? Apologize, and I might just keep my promise."

"You are one smart cookie...Fine. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." She slid her hand across the base of his neck, making his hair stand on end as she began to leave. "Have a nice shower. Hope it's hot."

Shawn shut the door behind him and let out an exhilarated giggle. _Yep. It's already plenty hot in here. THAT was hot. She is...wow_. _Just wow. HOT._

After his shower, Shawn couldn't wait to sit across from her at the breakfast table, but when he sat in his seat, he noticed she wasn't there. He approached Rick to ask about her. "Rick, where did Sandy go? I just saw her a few minutes ago."

Rick looked up from scribbling on his clipboard. "She informed me that she feels sick. She's in her room."

"Oh, okay." Shawn began to exit the common area to find her, but Rick stopped him.

"I don't think so. You know the rules: absolutely NO intermingling in another's personal space, AKA, their room."

Shawn sighed. "That's a dumb rule. So are all the other rules here in this prison."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but these rules are here for a reason. Now, I suggest you sit down before some of our younger ones see you and mirror you. Please."

Shawn huffed but did as he was told. He slouched with his arms crossed as he silently judged the two rambunctious twin boys to his left. The cafeteria lady passed out the morning's trays of food from her cart. When the tray reached Shawn, he grimaced and shoved it away from himself. 

Rick noticed this and approached Shawn. "I want you to come talk with me privately." He gestured for Shawn to follow him out into the hall. Shawn decided not to push the issue any further and went with him. Rick led him to his room and shut the door.

"What?" Shawn said angrily.

"I'm concerned for you. You have been acting strange lately. Have your medications been helping? I suppose I should ask the nurse."

"They're fine. Can I go now?"

"No, you may not. Just chat with me for a second. Tell me what is causing your distant behavior." 

"I'm not distant. I'm just not hungry."

"You are pale. You don't eat. You don't do anything but sleep. You are not doing well. Something is not adding up here. You stare into space when we have our therapy group sessions. I don't expect a long spiel, but perhaps you can share a little something with the group sometimes. You won't get anything out of our time together if you choose to let your mind wander off. Help me help you, Shawn."

"So? What's the point of all of this? People just complain about their miserable lives for an hour, then we do it all over again the next day. And I can't STAND those twins. I swear, it's like they share one brain and not in a good way."

"Let's bring the focus back on you. Right now, we are discussing your progress here, your path to a better life. I will be frank: your progress has not shifted an inch since you have arrived. What is causing this lack of interest in self-improvement? Or IS it a lack of interest?"

Shawn retreated and sat on his bed. He shrugged. "You tell me. You're supposed to be the expert, aren't you?"

Rick sighed, glancing up at the ceiling. "Alright. If you won't open up and tell me how to help you, then I don't know what else to do for you."

"What? So that's it? You're gonna toss in the towel, just like that? You don't even care. You're just here for the paycheck. I knew it."

"No, no. That is far from the truth. I get paid minimum wage, just enough to get by. I spend my life trying to help kids like you because I WAS you. You are the reason I get up in the morning, but I don't know how to help you unless you want to help yourself. Please. Just try to be open with me...Tell me ONE thing you want me to know. Just one. We'll start there."

"So, if I tell you one thing, what will you give me in return?"

Rick sat on the bed next to Shawn. "If you tell me one thing about you, I will tell you one thing about me. Anything you want. Just talk to me."

"Fine...but it better be good. Nothing boring."

"Of course."

"Alright..." Shawn stood up and leaned against the wall, pondering what information he felt most comfortable sharing. "I don't like the meatloaf here."

Rick sighed at Shawn's lack of effort. "Okay then, here's mine: I don't like the meatloaf here either."

"Hey! I said nothing boring."

"I will give you more if YOUgive me more. That's how this works. You get what you give."

Shawn paused. "Oh, I see how this little game of yours works...fine, whatever..." He stared at Rick's shoes to avoid the awkward tension. "John's not my real dad."

"Oh? Why don't you tell me more about that."

Shawn raised his eyebrows and stared at Rick, expecting him to give his own tidbit of juicy info.

"Right...okay, fine. I was raised by my grandfather. Your turn."

"I hate being stuck in one place."

"I love to watch the stars from my canoe."

"My brother is a snob."

"I admire my grandfather for never giving up on me."

"It's dumb that everyone here treats me like a child, as if I can't take care of myself."

"Let's add a rule...How about with every complaint, you list a positive. Go."

Shawn hesitated. "I don't know."

"Bingo. I think I found something we could work on together, one on one and in our group sessions: picking out the silver lining in the clouds as we pick apart our problems."

Shawn shifted his weight. "All you quacks think the same. You just wanna toy with people's heads and fill them with empty words to make them feel good. It's brainwashing. I thought we were just talking."

"We are. I just need you to open up and talk. Nothing else. No hidden agenda here."

"Promise?"

"I wouldn't lie to you."

"Yeah, okay."

"I can even make up a contract that we can both sign. Then, we shake on it and make it official, to show you I mean business."

"Fine. I believe you, as long as you don't assign me worksheets."

"Nope, just good old fashioned dialogue is all that's required."

The two shook hands then wandered out the door and down the hall. Out of the corner of Shawn's eye, he spotted Sandy sitting by herself at the back of the gym as they passed, gleaming at him. His pace quickened as his mind reeled for a possible way to escape their first group session for the day and go meet with her.

_I just HAVE to go see her. I will find a way if it kills me._


	25. Ch. 7/P. 5: So, What's the Secret?

Shawn sat in the circle of fifteen kids, hoping to avoid the more annoying ones in the bunch. He watched as the youngest two, a seven-year-old with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and a nine-year-old with Autism, bickered back and forth.

Rick adjusted his glasses and scanned the room. "Alright, ladies and gents. Let's get started. Anyone wanna volunteer to go first?"

No one raised their hand.

"Okay, fine. I guess we'll just start with the oldest. Shawn?" Rick pointed his pencil at him. "How have you been feeling today?"

Shawn crossed one leg over the other and began to pick at the laces on his shoe.

"Shawn? Did you hear me?"

"There's nothing to say. I'm fine."

Rick cleared his throat to remind him of their contract.

"What? What do you want me to say? I am SO depressed. I think I might go jump off a bridge later today?"

The room fell silent.

"That's not funny, Shawn. In fact, that is quite inappropriate. Do you want to try that again?"

"No, I'm good actually. I think I'll just go lay down."

"Shawn, our contract..."

"F*ck the contract. See ya."

"SHAWN."

"I don't feel good. Please, let me go lay down." Shawn got up and left the room.

"Alright, Lewis, why don't you go first then." As Lewis began, Rick pressed a button on his pager, alerting the nurses' station of Shawn's exit.

What do they know? This is all so stupid...I hope Sandy is still there. I've gotta see her.

"HEY! Where do you think you're going?" Dorothy, the cranky head nurse, stomped down the hallway toward Shawn.

He tried to outmaneuver her, but she grabbed his arm before he could. "Let GO of me! I just need to go for a walk."

"How come I don't believe you? Tell me what you are really doing out here."

"I just don't feel like any of this is helping. It's pointless. I just wanna leave."

"Well, you are court-ordered to be here. You can't leave."

Shawn tried to writhe out of her grip again but more personnel caught up with him. A burly nursing assistant grabbed his other arm. "Oh, no you DON'T."

Shawn decided against fighting off the hoard. "Fine. Let me talk to the doctor then."

"Oh, the doctor will talk to you alright. This behavior has got to stop."

"Or what?"

"You don't want to find out."

They then escorted him to his room.

"You can wait here until the doctor can come see you." Dorothy sent him a piercing stare and wagged her finger. "No shenanigans now."

Shawn rolled his eyes and laid on his bed. "Yeah, okay."

When the crew left, Shawn stared at the ceiling, wishing to be anywhere but there. He pictured Sandy's light brown curly cues and freckles dotting her cheeks. He sighed. Whatever. It's not like I'll be here long enough to see her again. She probably thinks I'm a freak like the rest of them here. This sucks. After about a half hour of waiting, Shawn grew bored and decided to rummage through the drawers of the night stand. He came across a book with a lantern-looking thing on the cover.

Wow. I'm so bored that I might actually read something for a change.

"Shawn? You're reading? That's a shocker. Did they make you or something?" John had snuck in, catching him off guard.

"Oh, hey John...No. I'm just REALLY bored. I'm waiting for the doctor. I can't stay here anymore."

Figuring an argument wouldn't help anything, John changed the subject. "Well, tell you what...While we wait, let me see what book that is."

"I'm 16. Why do you care what I read?"

"I'm an English teacher. It's my job." John grabbed the book from Shawn's grip. "Oh, getting philosophical, are we? This is a Bible. Did you know that? Let me read you one of my favorite passages that has gotten me through some tough spots in the past." He leafed through the pages and arrived near the middle of the book. "It's Psalm 139..." He recited:

"Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

If I make my bed in hell, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

If I settle on the far side of the sea,

Even there your hand will guide me,

Your right hand will hold me fast.  
  


If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

And the light become night around me,"

Even the darkness will not be dark to you;

The night will shine like the day,

For darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful,

I know that full well."

John set the book down on the bed. "So, what do you think?"

"It's interesting...like a poem. Huh, and I always thought the Bible was just a bunch of old fairy tales. It helped you?"

"Yeah, it did. Maybe it'll be useful to you one day."

"Yeah maybe..."

"John? I need to speak with you." The doctor had peaked his head in, interrupting them.

"Sure. Come in."

"No. I'd rather speak with you privately."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"I just have to run a few things by you. It won't take long."

Shawn piped up. "What? You two gonna talk about me behind my back? Why can't I listen too?"

"Shawn, stay. I'll be right back," John instructed.

The two left the room, leaving Shawn alone with his thoughts.

Great. When adults talk about my life, it never ends good for me. I can't wait for my life to suck more.


	26. Ch. 7/P. 6: No. Please Just No. (TW: Depression, Awkward Medical Procedures)

"Doctor, what's this all about?" John asked as they stood in the hallway.

The doctor hesitated as he gave a concerned glance. "It sounds like Shawn has not been compliant with the treatment here. I have received multiple reports from the nurses and counselors that he has been refusing his meals and the sessions and even throwing away his medications. We weighed him this morning. He has lost four pounds since he's been here. Are these developments new for him, or is it perhaps because he's in this environment?"

"I guess, I don't know. Do you want me to talk to him? I could maybe persuade him."

"If it's easier, we can talk to him together. I have a few questions to ask him anyway."

John sighed as he opened the door to Shawn's room. "Hey, bud."

Shawn sat up in bed. "Hey, so what have you two decided about my life? I obviously have no say about anything here..."

"Shawn, I just have a few questions to ask you," the doctor said. "Do you have a minute?"

"I don't know. Do I?"

"Shawn...please," John begged. He sat on the bed next to Shawn. "We're just trying to help you."

"Yeah, whatever," Shawn said as he rolled his eyes. "K, doc, what?"

The doctor sat in a chair across from Shawn so he could make eye contact. "You do not seem thrilled about being here. I'm concerned about your health and your state of mind. Have you recently considered ending your life?"

"Um...No? Is that what you want me to say?"

"I want the truth. Do you plan on ending your life? Suicide?"

"Not really, anymore...I mean, I just don't wanna be here, in this place, and I hate the food. Everything sucks here."

"Okay, I hear you. So you're saying that you refuse our meals and services because you simply don't like any of it?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up I guess."

"Do you realize that the consequences of your refusal involve a decline in your health?"

"I dunno..." Shawn looked away.

The doctor huffed and scratched his head. "This may sound strange, but it's something we have to ask...When was the last time you had a bowel movement?"

"What's that?"

"He's asking if you've pooped, dude," John explained.

"Why does that matter?"

The doctor grew more intense. "It matters because not eating can cause constipation, and constipation can cause complications."

"Really? Like what?"

"Like your insides stop working, which means systemic infection and possible death...I'm not trying to scare you, but you have to understand the importance of self-care...So, when was the last time you pooped?"

Shawn paused. "I guess...like, I don't remember. Maybe last week sometime."

"Are you kidding me? Shawn, that's not good," John interjected.

The doctor cleared his throat. "Tell you what, to help you gain weight and supplement your meals, I will order tasty shakes with vitamins. As far as your bowel habits go, I am going to have the nurse start you on Miralax for every day that you're here. Have you ever heard of an enema?"

"A what?"

"An enema. It's a way to get your bowels moving in a matter of minutes. We have to make sure your insides are working the way they are supposed to. It just looks like a tube that sends water into your colon through your rectum."

"Okay, what?"

"He's saying the nurse will put a tube inside you, like in your butt, with water," John explained.

Shawn's eyes grew wide. "NO. Not gonna happen."

"It may be a little uncomfortable, and there may be slight cramping in your abdomen, but it shouldn't hurt."

"They can't make me do this, can they? John?" Shawn shot a look of panic at John. John just shrugged.

"Since you are still considered a child and under the age of consent, your parent will have to decide. However, it would be against medical advice if John refuses on your behalf," the doctor explained.

"John? Please say no. Please."

John hesitated. "What do you think I should say? I just want you to get better, and this is what it takes."

"No!"

"Tell you what, I'll let you two talk. I'll be right outside if you need me." The doctor began to retreat from the room, but John stopped him.

"No need. I'm saying yes. He needs to get better, no matter what it takes."

"John..." Shawn protested.

"Sorry, but you don't have a choice here, bud. Let's just get this over with."

A knock was heard at the door. Dorothy and two burly nursing assistants charged in. "Are you ready for your medicine, kid?" Dorothy asked, holding the enema bottle in her hand.

As soon as they approached Shawn, a figure ran out from underneath the bed. "See ya!"

"Who on earth was that?" Dorothy asked.

"I'd like to say the same thing." John narrowed his eyes at Shawn.

Shawn gulped. "Right behind you!" He chased the kid down the hall. "Cory, wait! You came to see me? Dude, I thought you forgot about me and got a new best friend."

"How could I do that, Shawn? You almost died. I saw you in a pool of your own blood. I had to be sure you were okay in here."

"Well, thanks." They exchanged fist bumps.

Suddenly, the two boys felt a firm hand on each of their shoulders. "That was a STUPID move, Matthews. C'mon, both of you. We need to have a talk." John waved off the nurse and escorted the boys to a secluded part of the lobby area.

"First of all, what were you thinking?"

"I promise I didn't know anything about this, seriously," Shawn said, arms raised in mock surrender.

"Okay. I believe you...Cory? Care to explain?"

"I just wanted to see my buddy. He's been locked up in here, and it sucks that they won't let anyone see him except you. I wanted to make sure he was alright."

John hesitated, but his face softened. "Okay...I get it. It was dumb what you did, but you had noble intentions. Shows how good a friend you are." He sent a smile at Cory. "As for you, Shawn," John said, pointing at Shawn, "I don't care. You are going to march back in that room, apologize, and get it over with."

Shawn's face turned red. "Do we have to talk about this in front of Cory? It's kinda personal..."

"That's fine. Cory?"

"Yep. I get it. I'll...go wait over there." Cory walked toward the opposite side of the lobby.

Shawn's gaze grew intense. "John, I will not go back in there. It's not natural for a total stranger to...ya know."

John grabbed both of Shawn's shoulders and looked him square in the eye. "Shawn, I will NOT let you throw your life away. I want to see you get better. Don't you want to get better?"

"I don't know what I want, John. I just know I don't want to be here anymore. It's done nothing for me." Shawn refused to look back at John.

"It's because you haven't let it do anything for you. Just give them a chance, bud. Please. They know how to fix you. I can't fix you, even though I want so desperately to."

"I don't know..."

John's hands migrated to Shawn's face, forcing him to make eye contact. "Imagine you were me for a minute: a guy with a kid he loves more than himself, who he'd die for, but his kid would rather go off and die himself, leaving him to wonder what he did wrong, if he had failed his son. You feel me? I just want the best for you...It's just a little discomfort for a second, then it'll be over, just like the doctor said, and you can start getting back to normal life again. You could come home."

"First of all, let go of my face." Shawn pushed John's face away with a bat of his hand. "And your breath stinks...Second of all, what's in it for me? If I go through this torture for you, can I leave today?"

John hesitated. "Well played...I don't know, Shawn. I wish I could say yes to that, but you have to start showing improvement first. You have to want that to happen. I can't control that. The doctor told me that if you continue to endanger yourself, the courts will have to intervene again and keep you here longer. If you want out so bad, then you'll have to start cooperating."

"Well, then, let me talk to the doctor. I'll make him change his mind."

"Really? How? You gonna lie and say you're fine? You and I both know that's far from the truth. The doctor will see right through it."

"So? Who says this prison they have me in is helping any? I promise I won't hurt myself. I just wanna go home. PLEASE, John."

"No. Shawn, please. PLEASE. Just...do what the doctor tells you to do. You will benefit in the long run...What on EARTH am I gonna do with you?" John sulked, staring at Shawn as if he were caught deep in thought. He swept Shawn's hair out of his eyes. "I didn't know this would be so hard...Please, Shawn. I can't bear to see you like this anymore." His voice shook. Placing his head in his hands, he began to sulk. "God, please..."

"John, what is wrong with you? Did I seriously make YOU cry? C'mon, man. It's not that big a deal."

John gave up. His shoulders hunched themselves over, trembling with his emotions.

"Pull yourself together, man. This is embarrassing." Shawn groaned in annoyance. "Fine. Have it your way. Just...stop doing that. You're supposed to be the strong one. You can't...do that." He let the sight of John's breakdown hit him in the gut. "Look, I'm sorry, K? You're right. I'll do it...Please, just stop. It's weird. People are staring." John sat, peering down at the floor. Shawn began to feel overwhelmed with guilt, so he patted his dad's head in an effort to comfort him. "Don't go into the dark place, John. It's too hard to get out. I need you here. I said I would cooperate. I WILL cooperate. I can't stand to see you like this."

John's head popped up. "Promise me you will do exactly what the doctor says."

"Okay...I promise...as long as you promise I won't be stuck here forever."

"Fine. Deal." John's face lit up instantly at Shawn's change of attitude.

Shawn gasped. "You weren't actually crying? You lied to me to get what you wanted. What a total jerk..." He punched his arm in retaliation.

"Ow!" John said, rubbing his arm. "But it worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it did. You still suck, but very convincing...well played."

"Thanks, man." John kissed Shawn's forehead as Shawn pulled away. "Alright, I'm gonna go tell the doctor then."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. You win...again."

John stood up and went to go get Cory. "Now, as for you, Matthews, don't think I forgot about you. I'm bringing you home as soon as I'm done here." He grabbed Cory's arm and waved back at Shawn.

Shawn yelled toward Cory. "Good luck!"

"You're the one who's gonna need it, so good luck yourself! Get out of here so I can see you!" Cory replied.

"Yep. I hope so..."


	27. Ch. 8/P. 1 Freedom Finally.

*John's Apartment*

Shawn's POV:

Yeah, so, I'm just so glad that I'm back home and out of that torture chamber. As soon as the nurse finished giving me that enema (which wasn't pleasant I might add), they sent me home. The catch is now I have to take fiber supplements and depression meds everyday. It kind of sucks, but it's better than strapping me down to a table and shooting water up my butt. Anyway, since I've been home, I've been trying to take back my normal life. I hated being locked up for so long, and now that I'm back home, John is just as annoying as he was before the hospital. I feel just as caged as I was when I was locked up in the institution. I still have to sleep in the same room as John too. Whatever. He's gotta learn sometime that I won't be taking his crap for very much longer.

"Shawn, I know you probably hate this, but I'm sorry, I have to keep my eye on you. I don't want you hurting yourself again. Got me? So, you're staying under my watchful eye until I think you are stable enough to be out on your own again. That means the same rules that applied before also apply now."

"C'mon, John. Aren't I all better? Didn't those doctors fix me? It's stupid that you still won't let me sleep in my own room. I'm not 2."

Shawn grabbed his blankets and pillow and tried returning to his own room, but John snatched his sweatshirt. "I don't think so, pal. No means no. This is your first night back, and I need to make sure you are safe. Think of this as a test. If you can handle yourself responsibly, then I will gladly give you more freedom. Until then, just humor me. I'm doing what's best for you."

"I don't care. It's been months. I can't handle this much longer. I just need my space. Please just let me go."

"No, I can't do that."

"What? Am I in trouble? Am I grounded or something?"

"No. It's nothing like that. You are not in trouble, but you will be if you keep fighting me on this. I won't know if I can trust you. Prove to me I can trust you, starting by getting your butt in bed and lights out by ten. No exceptions." John then released his grip on Shawn's sleeve. Shawn sighed but decided not to test John's patience right off the bat.

"Okay, whatever. Just at least give me privacy when I need it, like when I use the bathroom!" Shawn entered the bathroom and slammed the door in John's face.

"That bratty stuff will not be tolerated with me. You know that, kid. Maybe the nurses and counselors put up with that crap, but I sure won't. Don't test me." John slumped his shoulders and placed his hands in his pockets, deciding to give him some space. "Fine, but lights out by ten. You need to get a good night's sleep before your first day back to school."

  
Shawn's POV:

See what I mean? The guy doesn't know boundaries. There are lines you just don't cross when it comes to privacy, and he just doesn't get it. This is my first day of freedom. Why would I spend it cooped up inside? I have a plan...Yes...and it's a good one. John's not gonna suspect a thing.

Shawn waited until John fell asleep, as he usually did, around midnight. Then, he made a run for it. Well, he actually tip-toed out, but as fast as humanly possible. Once out the door, he breathed a sigh of relief. _Now to reach Cory's place without getting caught._ Knowing full well that John's bike would be too loud, and that his driving freedoms were still taken away, he decided on a bicycle he found outside the neighbor's apartment. The bicycle successfully got him to Cory's. He decided to sneak around the back of the house between the Matthew's and Mr. Feeny's and climb into Cory's window.

 _Sh*t. Of course the one night I get to see my best friend is the night he decides to keep his window shut._ Not giving up, Shawn found a few pebbles to throw at the window in hopes Cory might wake up. By the fourth tap of the window, he heard a rustling behind him.

"Mr. Hunter? What on earth are you doing here at this time of night?"

"Mr. Feeny? Um...Shouldn't you be sleeping or something?"

"I'd like to ask you the same thing...I suggest you stop making noise and head back home, or I will have to call Mr. Turner."

"Feeny, please. This is my first day back. Can you let this slide? Just once? I haven't seen Cory in, like, forever."

"Don't you have school tomorrow? I don't think it's a wise choice to stay up to all hours of the night like this."

"Well, you're still up, aren't you?"

"I'm an adult. I can stay up if I like. Now, you run on home. If I catch you here again, I will have no choice but to call your father."

"But you won't rat me out this time, right? Right? Please don't."

"If you leave right NOW, I will forget this ever happened. I'm watching you, Mr. Hunter. I have eyes everywhere."

"Fine..." Shawn groaned, but hurried along before Feeny changed his mind.


	28. Ch. 8/P. 2: No One Cares.

*John Adams High School*

Shawn's POV:

Guess what? It's my first day back to school, and I expect Cory to be, like, over-the-moon excited, right? Well, I guessed wrong. He's moved on. All he does now is suck Topanga's face and pay attention in class. I've tried everything to make him say more than a word to me, but he's too busy. Now I've got no one. He's like the only reason I bother with school, well, him and the fact that John would skin me if I didn't show up. It's pointless.

Shawn sat by himself in the cafeteria during lunch, doodling on a piece of paper and trying his hardest not to lock eyes with Cory. _What does any of this matter? Even if he were to look in my direction, he still wouldn't bother to say anything_. _Oh great. Now John's coming over here_.

As John meandered toward where Shawn was seated, Shawn attempted to hide his face in his hands to avoid the embarrassment. "John, I already have to see you at home. Can you go away please?"

John, ignoring his request, plopped himself down next to Shawn and patted his back. Shawn began to slide away, but John gripped his arm before he could manage to leave. "Hold on there. Tell me why you are sitting here alone. Why aren't you hanging out with Cory anymore? Did you two have a fight?"

"No," Shawn said as he stared at the table.

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing, okay? Just let me go. I'll talk to you later." Shawn shook off John's hand and stormed out of the room. John stood stiff for a minute, trying to process what might be going on. He shrugged and walked over to Cory.

Tapping his shoulder to break his hormone-induced trance over Topanga, John said, "Hey, I see that you and Shawn aren't sitting together. What's that about?"

"What? Shawn's the one not talking to me. I've tried to reach out to him, but he's been really moody today. I don't get it."

"Matthews, come over with me for a second."

Cory hesitated.

"Just for a second. C'mon." John gestured for him to follow.

"Alright...Topanga, I'll be right back." Cory planted a kiss on her, but John playfully yanked him back by the sleeve.

"Don't you think you're being a little selfish here? I mean, think about Shawn...He's just gotten back from the hospital, and all he wants is to get back to normal. Normal includes having a best friend. Aren't you his best friend? And here, I see you paying him no mind while you rendezvous with your girlfriend."

Cory's face fell. "Oh. I guess I didn't think about it like that. Maybe I've been a little preoccupied...I'm sorry. It's just been a while since I've seen Shawn. I guess I got used to life without him. Wow. I'm a horrible friend. Okay, I'll go talk with him."

"Thanks, Matthews. I think that would mean a lot to him knowing his best friend is on his side." John patted his back then retreated to his seat.

Before checking on Shawn, Cory stopped by Topanga. "Hey, if I don't come back, it's because I'm with Shawn. I'm just gonna go see if he's alright. Love you, shmoogy boo." He grasped her hand fondly and kissed it.

"Love you too. I can come with you if you want. I am Shawn's friend too, aren't I?"

"I mean, yes, but I think he needs some bro time right now. I hope you understand."

"Yes, I do. See you in class then?"

"Yep." Cory displayed his dorky smile as he left the room. He circled the halls a few times but did not find Shawn anywhere. Scratching his head, he decided to scope out the bathrooms and main classrooms but still no Shawn. _Where on earth could he be? Crap. I hope he wasn't serious when he said he would jump off that bridge_...

Panicking by this point, Cory sprinted outside the school to look for his friend. Halfway around the building, he could see a few students in the middle of the football field. He couldn't quite make out who they were, so he ran closer. To his relief, he found Shawn. To his dismay, he realized Shawn got himself tangled up with Harley Keiner, the tough guy on the block, and his posse. _Oh great. Now this. Why does he always spiral down so far, so fast? Every d*mn time._

"Shawn? What the h*ll are you doing here? What are they doing to you?"

Shawn hung upside down from the goal posts as the crew threw today's cafeteria food at him. "Cory, leave. You don't belong here."

Harley approached Cory with a shove. "You heard him. Scram."

"Yeah, scram! He he he," Joey, one of Harley's mini-me's, taunted.

"Rat, Frankie, focus on him. I'm taking care of this one," Harley commanded.

"What the h*ll are you doing to him, Harley? Don't you understand dignity?"

"It's called a hazing ritual, my friend. Next, we're gonna have a nice bon fire with him as the main dish."

"Let him down! Why would you bother hazing Shawn? He would never join your cult."

"Look, I suggest you beat it, or I will gladly beat you. Your choice. You have..." Harley glanced down at his imaginary watch. "Oh look, times up. Boys, stop what you're doing. Let's cut this kid down to size, shall we? Frankie, put him up there with Shorty." The goons began to do as he requested. 

"HIS NAME IS SHAWN. Let me go."

"LET THEM BOTH GO. NOW." John appeared out of nowhere to break up the squad. They relented and scurried off. John grabbed Cory's arm. "It's been an hour. Why aren't you in class?"

"Well, look...Shawn's up there."

They both craned their necks to see a dangling Shawn sheepishly waving back at them.

"Um...What are you doing up there?" John asked.

"Oh, ya know, hangin' around," Shawn jabbed.

"Well, the both of you are going to be _hangin' around_ in Feeny's office while I figure out what to do with you."

The boys groaned at the thought that they not only got caught, but that they would have to share awkward tension in the same room for probably the rest of the afternoon.


	29. Ch. 8/P. 3: I Don't Care.

"So, tell me, Mr. Matthews and Mr. Hunter, what brings you to my office this fine afternoon?"

Silence ensued as the two sat with their arms crossed.

"I asked you a question." Mr. Feeny leaned forward on his elbows, waiting for a suitable response.

Cory sighed and broke his composure. "Shawn hates me for no reason."

Shawn scoffed and turned to Cory. "Hey now. You know that's not it. It's because all you care about now is smooching Topanga while I'm over here suffering. You don't even care about me. All day today, I've tried getting your attention, but nothing. If my best friend can't take one second out of his busy schedule to actually BE my best friend, then what's the point of me staying here? I'm out of here." He began to rise, but Feeny interrupted him.

"SIT. You are not dismissed." Shawn obeyed. Feeny then cleared his throat. "In fact, the both of you get to spend detention today with me, so we can discuss these issues further. Yes, John will also be present. We won't sit idly by while the two of you cause more trouble for yourselves...Now, Shawn, lay it all out in the open for Cory and I, but calmly please."

Shawn scooted forward in his seat. "I said what I said. That's all. The world hates me. No one wants me. At least Harley was giving me a chance."

"Now, Cory, what do you have to say in response?" Feeny prompted.

Cory's eyes began to water. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't realize I wasn't paying you enough attention. I am excited to see you. It's just that I've been so caught up in myself lately."

"Yeah, you have been...Why?" Shawn quizzed, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know...I guess my life changed a lot when you left. It's been forever, dude. It sucked to not see you, so I began to spend all my time with my girlfriend. I'm sorry...Can we be friends again? We can start over from the beginning. We'll meet back at our hang out spot and fix everything."

"That's not how it works, Cor. You can't just fix everything and make it all go back to how it was. I'm broken. I'll always be that way. You have a good life with everything you could ever want. We're gonna end up in different places anyway. It was bound to happen. I honestly don't see how you can ignore that."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying...that maybe we should take a break. You go down your path, and I go down mine. We'll see where we end up."

"No. That's crazy talk. I'm not going to just up and abandon you. I'm not your dad."

Shawn's face fell at his statement. "I-" Shawn let his hair cover his watery eyes. "I've gotta go." Before Feeny or Cory could stop him, Shawn ran as fast as he could out the door, not at all sure where he would end up.

...........................................................................................................................

With tears blinding him, Shawn found himself at Harley's doorstep. He debated whether or not to knock. _Oh shoot...I better wait. He wouldn't be home yet, would he?_ He scanned the empty trailer park. It looked much like the one he grew up in. _Yep. This is my life. I'm a Harley Keiner- a thug that can get what he wants when he wants it_.

"Hey shrimp, what are you doing here? Didn't have enough fun yet? I think I have a few toys in the back I can use to test on you." Harley towered over Shawn.

Shawn inched away. "Actually, Harley, I'm here because I think you could use me. Hey, I heard you are having a party tonight. I could be your bouncer."

"You, shorty, a bouncer? Please. The only bouncing you could do is if I threw you on my roof."

"Well, there's gotta be something I could do."

Harley paused, rubbing his chin. "Okay, alright. You can be the drink pourer, but if you spill, I'll have my boys use your pretty little head as the mop."

"Sweet! So what time should I be there?"

"How's ten?"

"TEN? Like ten at night?"

"That is how time works. Yes, ten at night."

Shawn hesitated.

"What? You think your daddy Turner will whoop your butt if you don't come home by seven-thirty?"

"It's eight...Whatever, I'll be there. You can count on that. In fact, I'll help you set up for it. I can be your lackey for good even."

"But I already got two of those. A man only needs two. Otherwise, his lackeys may try to overpower him. Us thugs gotta hold our guns close to our chest, ya know."

"Please, Harley. You're all I've got now. I'll do anything. Please."

"Oh, stop your groveling. It's unbecoming of a lackey. Here, take this." Harley handed some drinks to Shawn, and Shawn gladly took them. "You've got a job."

"Thank you. Thank you!" 


	30. Ch. 8/P. 4: Living the Good Life.

"Shorty, you will stand all pretty-like over there. Here's the booze." Harley handed Shawn five containers of beer. Shawn bent his knees under the weight and nodded. "What? Did ya think we was gonna serve sodas? This is a high-end establishment."

"Nope. This is good." Shawn grunted as he placed the beer on the counter beside him. One by one, people began to trickle into Harley's trailer, and one by one, Shawn began to hand each of them their drink. The fifth person he handed beer to glinted her sly smile toward him, locking him in a trance.

He halted. "H-hey...um...Who are you?"

"The name's Theresa. Put 'er there." The lanky, leather-studded girl dropped her beer on his toes and shook his hand, making him yelp out in pain. "Oh, sorry 'bout that. Hey, when you're done with whatever you're doing, you should come check me out over at that corner table." She gestured toward the back.

Shawn blushed, his eyes widening. "Hell ya, I will. I should be done soon." He waved at her as she swaggered into the growing crowd.

"SHORTY. GET TO WORK." Harley hollered. "Or else I'll sick Frankie on you."

"Yes, boss," Shawn called. He quickened his pace as he handed out more drinks. Unfortunately for him, "Shorty" got the short end of the stick as he had to do the same thing for the rest of the night. Once the party finished, he approached Harley. "Um...not to complain or anything, but I was kind of hoping to mingle a bit. I was stuck slaving for you the whole night."

"What were you expecting? A grand ball with you as the main snack? Please. This is what lackeys do. If you don't like it, you can leave."

"Okay, okay. I'll stay..." Before Shawn could say anything more, the girl caught his eye. He gestured toward her. "Who is THAT?"

"THAT, my friend, is my sister. She's an angel. Cream of the crop right there."

"So, since I'm your lackey and all, could I maybe treat her to somewhere nice? As part of my lackey privileges?"

"Well, we'll discuss it. First, I'll introduce you's...Theresa, come here. I'll have you meet my new lackey here, Shorty."

"Yep, we've met. I was kind of hoping to spend some time with the guy, but you worked him to the bone instead. Now, if I may, I need to correct that." Theresa took Shawn's hand and led him out of the trailer.

Shawn jittered with excitement. "So, Theresa, where are you taking me?"

"It's a secret. I'll never tell." The next thing Shawn knew was darkness. _Huh. She blindfolded me...Wild._ "Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy." He rubbed his hands together. "Do with me what you will."

"Oh, I will." Theresa led him into what he figured to be a car.

After a while in silence, Shawn spoke up. "So, how come no lip action?"

"I have something better in mind. Hold on. We're almost there." As soon as she finished her sentence, the car lurched to a halt. "Okay, we've arrived, but don't take off your blindfold until I tell you."

"Okay." Theresa led Shawn out of the car and placed something in his hands. It felt round and hard, almost grainy.

"Alright, you can take it off now."

Shawn did as she requested. "The Matthew's? Why are we here of all places?"

"This is your initiation, kid. Start throwing."

Shawn looked down at his hands to see an egg. "Oh, I get it. Well, I suppose it's just one egg." Without hesitation, he hurled the egg at the porch window and watched it splat and run down the side of the house.

"Oh, you got balls, Shorty. Here's another one." She plopped another egg in his hand. "But get out of the car this time."

"Um...another? How many more?"

"Until I tell you to stop."

"Okay." Shawn hesitated as he looked down at the weapon in his hand then got out as commanded. He stared at the house for a few seconds.

"What, you chicken like that chicken inside that egg? C'mon, throw it! If you wanna get that kiss, you better do it."

"Alright..." Shawn ended up chucking three dozen eggs at his former best friend's house before he could see a figure standing in the window. Then, the porch light flickered on. _Sh*t. Busted. I knew I should've stopped at one._

"Who's there?! Come out where I can see you!"

 _Oh no...Not Mr. Matthews...He's so freaking scary._ Shawn stood petrified in place.

"Run..." Theresa yell-whispered. Before he could, Theresa yanked him back inside the car.

"Whew, that was a close one," Shawn said.

"Yeah. Too close," Theresa responded. "I know how we can make it right."

"Oh do you? How?"

"Come here." She pulled his jacket toward her, and they kissed.

_Not a bad night...I think I could get used to this thug life._


	31. Ch. 8/P. 5: How Did I Get Here?

Shawn's POV:

That great night didn't last long because after all was said and done, I had nowhere to go. I tried staying at Harley's, but once he heard that I made a move on his sister, he fired me. So much for the thug life. I was going to try sleeping at the park or something, but it started to storm. The only thing I could think to do then was go back home. I figured John would kill me, but at least I knew he would take me in. Anyway, now here I am, and I'm in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.

"Shawn...How could you? How could you when I gave you leniency? I let you have some freedom back, and what do you do? You destroy any ounce of trust I had in you. Unbelievable. What now? Huh?" John threw his arms up in the air and began to pace as he did whenever he stewed in rage.

"Don't you think you're making a bigger deal about this than you need to? It was a couple hours. I needed my space."

"Tell me this. What were you doing? I called the Matthews, so I know you weren't there. Where were you? Your Uncle Mike's place again? I sure hope not."

"Does it matter? My life is over anyway. You're gonna shoot me."

"Okay, now you're the one overreacting. I'm not gonna do much to you except watch you until my eyes bleed and fall out. It's more of a punishment for me than it is for you, trust me. From now until the foreseeable future, we are sharing a bed. That's right. Not a room. A bed. I asked for Feeny to give us a leave of absence from school while you and I work this out. That means you will spend every waking moment with me. You lost all my trust, pal. You and I are gonna have homeschool, Turner-style."

Shawn gawked at John with his mouth gaping open. "Nuh uh. That's not going to happen."

"Well, you don't have a choice. I can't leave you alone for one second without you ruining your life in some form, and it's getting real old. Now, come help me make dinner. I imagine you're starving at this time of night, when you're usually in bed."

"I think I'll pass. I'm pretty tired actually. You're right. I should be in bed. I think I'll turn in."

"No. From now on, whatever I'm doing, you're doing, so get your butt over here before I change my mind about shooting you," John said with a hint of sarcasm.

Shawn groaned but he realized that there was no way out of this one. He messed up, and he knew he'd have to pay up.


	32. Ch. 9/P. 1: The Living Hell.

"Rise and shine!" John shook Shawn gently until he woke up. Shawn sent him the dirtiest look he could muster. "What? Just because we're having school at home doesn't mean I'm gonna let you slack off. You woke up at this time for John Adams High, so you can do the same here. No arguing either."

Shawn groaned and covered his face with his blankets.

"C'mon. Get dressed." John pulled the blankets off of him, allowing the cool air to startle him.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Shawn ripped the blankets out from John's grip and pulled them back over his face.

"Nope. You're on my time now. Get up."

Shawn still did not budge, so John pulled him by the arm. Shawn, instead of rising, allowed himself to slide gracefully to the floor.

"Now this is just pathetic. What's wrong? Did you not get enough sleep?"

"I'm fine. I just don't want to get up yet. Please leave me be."

John sighed. "Do I have to get rough with you? Should I start counting?"

Shawn pretended not to hear.

"Fine. You have three seconds to get up, or you will not like me...3...2..."

Shawn pounced up from the floor and yelled in John's face. "ALRIGHT! I'M UP."

"Good. As soon as you're dressed, I'll start making breakfast for us."

Shawn stared at John with his arms at his hips, wondering why he wouldn't leave. "Um...John? A little privacy here please?"

"Nope. That ship has sailed, kid."

"Fine. Then I'll just change in the bathroom." Shawn tried to shuffle past John, but John wouldn't budge. All John had to do was point at Shawn's makeshift dresser, and Shawn knew not to push the issue further. "Just...turn around then."

"Alright. That's fair." John did as he was told while Shawn changed. "You decent yet?"

"There...Yeah, now I am."

"Good. Then, let's get this first day of homeschool started. I'm excited!"

"Yeah...Let the torture begin."

After breakfast, John made Shawn help him clear the table and wash the dishes, none of which Shawn enjoyed all that much. Once the day's chores were over, they then could begin the book learning.

"Okay, Shawn, come sit here with me on the couch. Eventually I'll get us a desk, but until then, this'll have to do."

Shawn grumbled something under his breath as he complied.

"What was that you said?"

"Oh, nothing. Let's just get this over with."

"Son, I hope you realize that this is not something you can just 'get over with.' You have at least a few months of this with me, and even if it weren't the case, you still have at least two years of high school left. Then there's college."

"Whoa there. Who said anything about college? I hate studying now. Why would I want to pay to go study more?"

"I hope one day you'll change your mind because college, or trade school, gives you an edge. It'll give you more hiring potential. You want a job, don't you, eventually?"

"Not really, but I suppose I'll have to get one."

"Yep, you will, because there is no way you're living under my roof forever. You'll have to support yourself one day."

"Why not today? I can work full time somewhere, maybe at Uncle Mike's shop. It'd be great. Then I wouldn't have to worry about school any more." 

"We're not discussing this right now...Here." John handed Shawn a packet with a book titled Forrest Gump.

Shawn's eyes grew wide. "Really? An actual good book? The movie was amazing."

John patted him on the back. "I knew you'd like it...I'm glad too because that's going to be your assignment for the next two weeks, and every two weeks, you will get a new book to read."

"Will every book be as cool as this one?"

"We'll see how this goes. No promises."

"What's the packet for?"

"You think I was going to just send you off with a book and not test your knowledge? I've gotta teach you something, or Feeny would skin me."

Shawn laughed. "Feeny would do that huh?"

"Yep he would. Now get cracking because I have a list of other things for you to do. I've got my work cut out for me. I've gone from teaching Language Arts only to teaching the whole spectrum. God have mercy..."

Shawn did as he was told, and John could notice a small smirk spreading across his face as he began to read.


End file.
